Emotional support

Imagine cat streamers

"The bird situation is crazy"

My oldest cat will bring up socks, underwear, and even tank tops from the laundry area downstairs. She lets out such mournful cries while she's doing it. Most mornings we have to collect her harvest and take everything back downstairs, restarting the process.

Emotional support for chompy teefs

My childhood cat, Gimpy, used to steal rolled up socks. He'd carry them around, chirp at them, and give them drinks of water (by dipping them in the toilet).

Things are so bad even our emotional support animals need their emotional support socks.

I knew an ornithologist that would stuff the birds into old socks because it kept them calm.

Yes. They were washed….

Maybe kitty is helping with banding?

I used to hang out with behavioral psychology grad students (BF Skinner types) who did a lot of research with pigeons. They transported the birds head-down in juice pitchers with air holes punched at the bottom; they just held the pitcher up to the cage and the bird would jump into it, sometimes so hard they would knock themselves out. They loved that lever-pressing shit - it helped that they were kept at 80% of their normal food intake to maximize the reinforcing effect of the pellets.
- Lol... yeah. You can train birds to do just about anything. well. with in reason.
  The socks would help reduce stress after getting caught in the nets. (big sagging things that they'd fly into and get caught in.) but the ornithologist was going after song birds. I think the largest thing we saw trapped was a cardinal. You'd check it fairly regularly just walking a line and stuffing them in socks. Then into a lunch pail. (IIRC the pail had bob ross painting on it. if that gives you an idea of his manner.)
  ounce for ounce, the chickadees were the biggest fighters. I'm not sure they even weighed an ounce but those needle-beaks hurt when they decided to do an impression of Woody the Woodpecker on your knuckle

“Hey, birds, you’re next!”

“If you believe you’re playing well because you’re getting laid, or because you’re not getting laid, or because you wear women’s underwear [or have a lucky sock] than you are!”
Crash Davis

Christ, I need a lucky sock…