1d ago

My (18F) fiancé (17M) is going to be in the military very soon, when can we talk after the fact and what do I do when I miss him?

I’m aware that this is probably a thing many people struggle with, their loved ones in the military. I’m one of them.

I’m proud of my gentlemanly fiancé. After all, he’s joining the military. But that’s the thing, after he turns 18, he will be signing up. My parents are very strict and we cannot actually see each other in person unless it’s somehow not considered a “date”. I have to be 21 to actually go on dates even if I am legally considered old enough.

Even so, he will be in the military, where there will not be a lot of time to go on dates.

I will not break up with him over this like one of his exes did. I am very proud that he’s joining, but I don’t know what to do when he’s away or to cope with loss.

Whatever I do, I won’t lose feelings for him.

11 comments

You are only 17 and you are his fiance?
This world is vast and right now things aren't looking good. It is takes many sacrifices for you and him to make it work. It is unfair to ask either of you to take such rush at such young age.
With time, both you and him will change. They will be good people and your life will change. In 5 years, you will be a lot different from now.
I don't want to dismiss you but we all know it is inevitable. You should tell him how you feel but just remember life may throw you a curve ball. The key is to know how to hit a curve ball but not to make the curve ball straight.

Personally I believe risking your life for nonexistent threats created by a careless and selfish government (aka nationalism) is nothing to be proud of, as the United States have no foreign threats to residential life and do not solve any international conflicts, therefore its leaders have no adequate reason to send its people to die or kill, but I know better than to try and educate.
All I ask is that your fiancé think about what's really important to him and whether he thinks he can make a positive impact on the world around him while in military service. Liberating the oppressed is an example.
- Thank you :)

Sounds like you need to join up to get away from your family. WTH?
Or at least get married in secret, now, so you can get military spouse support.
Anything to get you kids away from whatever upbringing that is. Jesus.
And I don't recommend the military to anyone except as a last resort.
- It could be cultural. Even in the US, OP's family could be in a cult. But they could be in a country where family is more important than in most Western countries. Or live in an oppressive culture where women are property - like where the US is headed.
  I agree with you; I'm just saying it's not always that easy, and if OP is living with their parents - because it's a shitty time to be a young adult, impossibly expensive to find places to live, doesn't have enough income, is going to college, or any number of reasons - they may have little choice.
  
  I live in the US with a Christian family who is also influenced by rape and SA survivors and that’s why I can’t be with men.

Hang out with Jody

Video calls, maybe weekends or holidays if it's not too far... You could lie to your parents and see him anyway... But long distance is probably hard for everyone.
- Thank you! We live in the same state!

11 comments