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Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world

bees @sh.itjust.works

2d ago

Vampires are from Jersey

69 comments

Except it doesn't work that way. It's not about wordplay, but the esoteric power of being explicitly invited.
- But it does work that way because vamipres are made up and so are the rules
  
  Counterpoint: Buffy (the series, not the movie, not the comic) is the only true vampire canon, and everything else is fanfic, and older stuff is from future time travelers writing fanfic.

Californians: "idk, he just kept asking and I kept saying, like, the beach? The coast? The seaside? Eventually he just stormed off in a huff, but, yeah, no, super weird guy. I still don't know what he wanted."
Context: as long as I've been on the west coast, I've literally never heard anyone call it the shore.
- Lived in FL for 28 years and the last time I heard it called the shore was in Ocean City, MD In 1997
  
  Yea we call our side the Eastern Shore.
- Lmao, I was having the same thought. "Shore" wouldn't have crossed my mind unless I'm talking about Gulf Shores. And that's a beach town in my mind. Hell, I grew up close enough to Jersey and have lived near the Gulf of Mexico for over 20 years; "shore" just isn't in my vocab like that

Vampires are from Staten Island and Noo Yawk Citttttaaaaaay.
- Tucson Arizonia
  
  No they're just regular human bartenders there.
  
  No Jackie Daytona is a normal human from Tucson Arizoniia you fool.
- A lot of us in NOLA, too! And Denver for some reason...

Beach.
There's no need to call me names, buddy
- I would watch a sitcom about the most unlucky vampire who still manages to survive somehow.
  
  What we do in the shadows

Off topic, but it paints a grisly picture of humanity that all vampires have higher standards for consent than many humans.
- Seriously.
  One vampire Dev pops "by clicking agree, you consent to vampires entering your home." Into line 57842368 of the Instagram/FB TOS and suddenly it's a feeding frenzy....
  ...How does one sell a script to Black Mirror?
  
  Dystopian technofeudalist vampire is now one of my favorite new tropes. Thank you.
  
  Plus, there’s a (kind of) precedent. All you’d have to do is plan it for April fool’s day.
- A "standard" implies it's a societal norm they're participating in, rather than a supernatural compulsion they're restricted by.
  
  That's a good point. Perhaps they're instead restricted by a social code of honor and limited empathy. Like they could come in against your will, but most won't because it's a shameful violation of vampire ethics, and they would feel bad about it.
- That’s because vampires are fictional.
  
  You're right, of course, but you should still see the comment about Bryan Johnson elsewhere in this thread, if you haven't already.
  https://lemmy.world/comment/17214940
- I'm beginning to realise that even stones may have higher standards for consent than most humans.
  
  For the sake of us all, I hope you're wrong, but history being what it has been, I'm having trouble coming up with a counterargument.

The beach. Bitch.
- Coast
  
  Coast on inside? Don't mind if i do!

Doesn't matter if you let them in. Nothing stopping them from setting your house on fire and making you come out.
- Vampires stopped existing when a wild hermit man once declared that the entire outside was their home.
- Ah, the Harry Dresden Assassination technique

How does the lore work? Does the vampire need to hear the right thing or does the person need to mean the right thing?
- The whole thing is vampire propaganda to make the general population feel more safe
  
  Big Blood is playing us for fools
- If I were making the rules, intent would be what mattered.
  
  Otherwise vampires would be getting invited in because some word means "enter" or whatever in a different language.

I'm pretty sure the magic preventing a vampire from entering without permission would not be overcome so easily.
- Its not magic if its real.

me: coast?
vampire: Mhm -_- How would you pronouce the first three letters of "yesterday" ^may ⁱ ^come ^in?
- Well the first letter is pronounced like the word why. The next one, is like the second name of rapper easy e. Now that third letter, thats a real fun pronunciation. How familiar are you with the 18th president of the USA?
  
  Not very, but his name was "Ulysses S. Grant" wasn't it ^may ^I ^come ^in?

If vampires are sticking to a code of ethics and honour to enter your house than this wouldn't work
You are answering a question with an answer .... not making a verbal contract
You are making a statement ... not giving permission
- haha! yeah!
  like who doesn't know what a sure is ᵐᵃʸ ᴵ ᶜᵒᵐᵉ ᶦⁿ?
  
  Are you a cop? Because I don't answer questions without legal representation....

how is the answer to this yes?
- Shore can sound like "sure"

a sphincter says what?

"A Beatles song, XXXterday."
Yes No
- Three characters you say.
  No!terday

Wet sand

I'm from Jersey (New). I go down the shore, and while down the shore I go to the beach. This is how it's always been and always will be (until the shore comes up to me because we've destroyed the environment)!
- Maryland here. The shore isn't the ocean or beach. It's the shore.

Sinners was so fucking good

/c/wellthatsucks

Unexpected Bergerac.

69 comments