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  • Trying to fix my shit so I can at some point put myself out there and try dating again. So far all of my attempts have been miserable failures. Doesn't help I lost close to a decade to depression so I feel behind everyone my age (no degree, no career, dead-end job, no romantic experiences, etc).

    It also doesn't help that I can't help but think that I would be inflicting myself on someone and making my problems theirs. I'm trying to reform myself into someone I'd want to be with but digging myself out of years of mental illness and grief has been a struggle.

  • I have fatphobic thoughts, and sometimes stereotype fat people. I'm trying to work on it, but it's hard stopping a particular pattern of thinking. I logically know what's wrong with that, and I don't believe I've actually acted on those thoughts, but it still is something I need to work on.

  • What do people owe each other as part of living in a society? When you become friends with someone, are you opting into owing that person more than what you owe everyone else? Intuition tells me the answers here are "Respect and dignity" and "Yes" respectively, but I suspect these views aren't as common as I was led to believe.

    I've spent around a decade following just about any avenue to self-improvement, with the goal of reclaiming all I lost in the destructive years. Rebuilding the connections I lost is the hardest part. If redemption isn't possible, then what's the point of seeking improvement? And if I can't have those friendships back, how do I go about forging something like them?

    • I got to imagine a big part of self improvement is being less wrong and being less wrong would probably lead to more enriching relationships and activities than if you say around in old, destructive habits while pushing everyone away with your shitty decision making

      • Exactly. If you want to be liked, you have to make an effort to be likeable.

        I guess the trick about changing your behavior is that people don't see things you aren't doing anymore. But they're also keeping an eye out for it, so anything you do that bears even a passing resemblance is conflated with destructive behavior.

    • Becoming friends means you owe them: a link to something funny you saw on the internet, Active listening, and an excuse to leave the house sometime

  • I moved on from the woman I liked that wouldn't reciprocate any feelings to a woman I don't particularly like who does have feelings for me. Probably need to figure a way to gracefully let her down if I don't feel attracted to her.

  • I’m flirting with a few markers of codependency and it’s starting to affect my ability to do things for myself which in turn has started putting pressure on the people around me.

    It’s a realization I came to on Monday and I am speaking to my therapist tomorrow.

  • My cynicism-pessimism-doomer brain managed to go into beast mode lately. I hate that I hate so much. But like I just don't care enough to change it. Joining a mens group next week so maybe I can work on my mindset

  • Trading. Was on a good roll making 600 last week and up 1200 this week, then one bone-headed trade flipped my winning day into a huge loser. I gotta beat back the mind stops that make me add on to a loser.

    My brain is my best friend and worst enemy.

  • Setting schedules for myself and getting over the feeling of being my own drill sergeant.

    The comforting draw of that voice that says "if this is what it's gonna be, there's no use trying to change it" in response to seeing myself stagnate.

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