Anon is a fighter

Please do it anon and make sure you film this great achievement.

The gorilla will use his insides as an Onahole when he's finished with him.

I think he's on to something... In these times of political and economical uncertainty, we should bring back ancient Rome colosseum style games. Modern fighters taking on wild animals for glory. Give the masses something to get excited about.
Let the man get himself dismembered by a gorilla as part of a bigger event with deadly races and feats of human strength.

What's gorilla gonna do? Bite him?

Mike Tyson was going to fight a gorilla in his prime. The zoo keepers denied his request. While he can punch a hole in a human's chest, that gorilla was going to rip his arms off with absolutely no effort.

I say let him. We really don't need people like this anyway.

Gorrillas weigh between 219 and 600 lbs
According to Guiness World Records they can lift 1800 lbs.
They have an arm span of over 8 ft.
Feel free to try it but spend some time putting your estate on order, first.
- Don't forget the bite force. Monkeys bite.
- An orangutan could grab a man by his feet and head and tear him in half, honestly i kind of doubt that the biggest most well trained man could even take on a chimpanzee and win without a weapon.

Why bother fight a gorilla. Just cut the forest down and polute his environment. Steal his children put them in a zoo. Cut off his hands then and turn them into ash trays. We have already dominated the natural world now we are working on dominating future generations.

This made me think of that time my partner's brother told me in complete earnest that he'd be able to jump off a skateboard going 20+ mph and run it out based solely off the fact that the fastest recorded human running speed is 28 mph and therefore he, an average fit 20 y.o. should be able to achieve 75% of that.
- running at 12mph on a treadmill is scary and fucking exhausting.
  
  Yeah, I used to be able to do 1 mile flat out at about 9 mph, then I'm toast.

Prove it.

Your best chance to kill a gorilla in a fight is probably to move so much air around him that he catches a f*cking cold and dies from it. If you don't actually touch him you may even have a non-0 survival chance as he ignores you.

If I had a gun in each hand, a bandolier full of knives, and a satchel full of grenades, I might be able to take down a gorilla. But likely not before he kills me first.
- Sounds like you need a bigger gun for each hand.
  .500 Smith and Wesson in each hand aught to do it.
  Just make sure you land the first shot center mass, cause by the third you’re gonna be shooting at planes.
  You will no longer have wrists, of course, but that is a small price to pay for victory.
  
  I have actually shot a .480 ruger. I think I’ll pass on the .500. The gorilla won’t need to do anything because I will have already offed myself trying to shoot those things one handed.

That would be how to do it. Humans have pretty good endurance as far as animals go. And gorrilas have pretty terrible punching technique and waste a lot of energy on those shitty downward over head swings that are pretty telegraphed.
My money will still be on the gorilla though unless you ad a few more people

if it wasn't so unethical towards the animals, i would love to let those people go for it.
Could only improve the human gene pool.

Just turned to my husband to ask are there really men out there who think they can really fight a goddamn gorilla??? Is it a joke? Have they SEEN a gorilla??? A chimp gonna kick your ass and they're smaller than an adult man wtf!
- Id personally be more scared of the chimp. The gorilla is mostly a peaceful animal.

I'd fight a gorilla, and win.
It would be a gun fight, from a distance, but a fight none-the-less, and I guarantee you, I know how to shoot better than a gorilla.
- I know how to shoot better than a gorilla.
  Insert Planet of the Apes intro.
- I've seen a chimp with an AK.
  I wouldn't want to fight a gorilla with a PKM.
  
  Pshhh, those idiots gave that chimp the ak and then stood right there making a scene of it, the chimp happened to decide to pull on the trigger and the gun started firing off randomly. None of them got shot either. That gorilla is fucked.

It's good to set realistic goals to motivate your workout.

The gorilla will rip his arms off and beat him to death with them before he even attempts to dodge it.

Mike Tyson, in his prime, wanted to fight a gorilla. Mike Tyson was told he would be killed and backed down.
- nah but anon is built different
  
  Yes, wrong mostly.
  Especially in the head department.
  
  If not for the ethics on the side of the gorilla in terms of making them fight a human, I legitimately do think we should let every single person who thinks they can 1v1 them try. Idiocy of this level voluntarily removing itself from the gene pool is a net good for the species.
  
  Yeah, 3 inches taller and 40 pounds lighter. You're not gonna beat a gorilla being a quarter the weight. You could maybe outrun it, but you'll just get wrecked if you try to fight head on.

Apparently gorillas are about 5 times stronger than a chimp, and I've seen what a chimp can do to a person.
Gorillas mostly leave people alone because they don't find us the slightest bit threatening.
- https://www.reddit.com/r/primatology/comments/11nqwsa/how_strong_are_chimpanzees_compared_to_humansalso/
  Just putting this here because chimpanzees, while strong, aren't THAT strong. A big strong male human is stronger than a big strong male chimpanzee.
  A gorilla of course would tear any person apart like tissue paper.
  
  Yeh what chimps got on humans is they go from zero to ripping your face off in 0 seconds flat, humans either require a lot of buildup to get that pissed or some kind of drug.
  
  I can believe that. There was that bath salts nutcase a few years back, and his victim was left in a similar state to chimp attack victims...
- Gorilla's will literally tear you to pieces.
- Well don't leave us hanging what do the chimps be doing to em??
  
  Rip their arms, face, and genitals off, then leave you suffering.
  Chimps are fucking brutal and absolutely terrifying.
- Gorillas mostly leave people alone because they don’t find us the slightest bit threatening.
  I love this statement. It sounds entirely true, it's really trivializes the part of humans when they attempt to overcome nature and its bouncers, and it also means I maybe have a chance of not dying if I ever should find myself surrounded by Gorillas and shitless (see if my natural shark repellent works here too) .
  
  Yet we have gorillas in cages. Why? Because we don't fight with our hands, we fight with our brains. We create traps, tools, etc.
  If you want to kill a gorilla, use that noggin and outsmart that beast.
  OP is preparing in exactly the wrong way.

I got dunk and decide I could beat a brick wall in a fist fight once.
- And then you were introduced to the term boxer's fracture...
  
  Nah I had good friends with me.

Is thisnJoe Rogan

I wanna be a gorilla field researcher. They're cool. I saw a video where a wildlife photographer was following a gorilla too close, and you're like, "that animal is fuck this guy up", right? Nah. The gorilla punches him in the face and keeps walking.
- Sauce?
  
  https://www.earthtouchnews.com/in-the-field/in-the-field/in-photos-drunk-mountain-gorilla-punches-wildlife-photographer/

"reflexes similar to my speed"
Haha this is a classic French copypasta which is 20 years old and has just been translated by anon.
It is even cited in the French "copypasta" Wikipedia article in the examples section: https://fr.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Copypasta
TL;DR: French and fake and gay
- bro even converted the units
- French is also gay, so French and fake.

Gorillas' bones and muscles are way beyond anything this guy could ever experience in his 7 years of fighting idiots. I say idiots because they fight for money and fame, not for survival as a gorilla would. Jesus, their butt probably has more muscle mass than this guy's whole body. BTW, no homo.

Google how much force do I have to give to the dome of a gorilla in punching to give him a debilitating concussion?

Reminds me of this: https://youtu.be/na0BLwsqwcA

Reminds of this classic
- Wouldn't it be a "bear naked choke"?
  
  Oh BROTHER this guy stinks!
  
  “IT’S BEEN one week since you looked at me…”
- I'm sure this may work in maybe 1% of circumstances of super fit, tall, jacked, stupidly tough, experienced martial arts experts vs an "Average bear"
  Like the theory is sound, you could conceivably choke out a bear but it would be a motherfucking wild ride IF you can get into place to do it.
  
  No way in hell. Bears have a ton of fur and very strong neck muscles. Nothing to choke. This is why we invented weapons in the first place.
  
  Even in the case of you getting in place and choking it from behind, your arms are still going to be clawed. Good luck keeping that chokehold with your tendons shredded.
  
  Like the info graphic shows .... sure you can try to muscle your way to do one thing or another but usually at step two, the bear has already sunk their teeth into your and torn part of your body with is claws.
  While you were thinking of the first and second move, you've already lost a pint of blood, will lose more and you're on your way to dying while the bear bites your arm and swings you back and forth like a rag doll.
  Look up the skeletal structure of a bears skull, you'll notice two giant lumps on the back of it's head. Those are two large muscles that operate the jaw ... a massive jaw bone attached to dagger like teeth. It's like a hyper fast bench vice with knives.
  Also think of the strongest man you can think of and know that a bear is probably four or five times stronger than that.
  So any time you think of confronting a bear, any man without weapons is in danger.
  
  I don't think I could do anything to a bear that would do more than make it angry. Maybe poke it in the eye or something, if it holds perfectly still while I do that. Even then, I would just be mauled to death by a one-eyed bear that suddenly remembers it has those giant claws right there.

No way someone who trains mma and boxing would say "just dodge his attacks". This aint anime bro you're going to get hit
- If you train hard enough, you get observation haki. Haven't you ever seen that famous documentary "The Matrix"?

I recently saw a gorilla skull. Note how small the brain is and how much extra bone there is to protect it. Punching this would hurt you more than the gorilla.
- That was essentially what I was going to comment.
  You punch a skull like that, you're breaking knuckles. It happens vs other humans as it is, no way do you punch a gorilla in the face and do even the same amount of damage your hand takes. You're sure as hell not knocking it out.
  As entertainment, the idea is awesome, because I can imagine this relatively small guy squaring up against a silverback, all confident and executing the footwork perfectly, throwing a right hook just as hard as he can, and then there's a spray of blood from his hand, followed by the gorilla turning him into steak tartare in a minute or less.
  Has dude never been to a zoo that has gorillas? Back in my prime, I would have been a heavyweight, and I feel like a damn twig next to a gorilla, no matter how much height I have on one. And I've never been that close to one. Seeing them twelve feet away was intimidating as hell.
  
  They're fearsome in a fight, but even more admirably, they don't take themselves that seriously
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HmuTqe9s88
  Worth it to watch even for the first couple minutes to hear the sound
- You see those fin-like bones that rise up from the skull? All of that is filled with the muscle that closes the jaw - technically the purpose of these bones is for the muscle to attach to. One bite will slice and crush anything of you that is in his mouth.
  Oh, and humans lack a type of fast-twitch muscle fibre that gorillas (and pretty much all non-human mammals) have. This makes their muscles a lot more powerful than ours, no matter what training you do. They will tire faster, but thats probably only during the stomp-on-your-bloody-remains part of the fight.
  Oh, and their reaction speed is also faster.
  Basically, you have zero chance going mano a mano with a gorilla.
  
  In prehistoric times the human hunting strategy was simply to follow an animal with a group of people until it tiers out, relying on superior endurance and cooperation skills. If it were possible for a human to simply defeat prime predators in one-on-one combat we would likely never have developed those skills in the first place. We are good at cooperating, precisely because we are so much weaker than gorillas.
  
  Yeah, human muscle density is very low, relatively. We have higher myostatin levels than other great apes, likely from developing tools for hunting.
  I bet an average chimp would absolutely destroy any top ranked fighter.
  
  Honestly at this point i wanna convince them to try anyway. Let darwin sort them out
- https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sagittal_crest
  
  Thank you! And here is the key text;
  The presence of this ridge of bone indicates that there are exceptionally strong jaw muscles. The sagittal crest serves primarily for attachment of the temporalis muscle, which is one of the main chewing muscles.

Gorilla proceeds to pull his arms and legs off his body, and slap him a bit with his own arms before returning to breakfast.

Someone listens to Andrew Tate a little too much.
- I'd pay to see Tater take on a silverback ngl
  
  Cage fight, only one comes out alive! That's worth the watch!!!
- What color is your boo-gah-ee???

Sure, like a baby gorilla that has just been born and has been removed from the mother.

Anon is going to get hole punched through him
- Did you miss the part where anon is gonna dodge the attacks. I swear no one can read in here

Imagine a toddler who thinks they can beat up you, a grown adult because it learned some karate. That's how threatening you are to a gorilla.
- That raises a question. Can I go for the balls? How hard will it be to twist his balls if I can get a hold of em? I think I might have a chance if I ambush him.
  
  You won't get to their balls, and even if you do, you probably lack the strength to make damage or cause pain, and even if you do, you'll only enrage the gorilla so he could tear you into pieces. I know you are joking but people like OP exist.

I have this theory that with proper technique, you can beat anything you can lift in a fight. That being said, Gorillas are too heavy to lift. Conversely, you'll likely have extreme difficulty fighting anything that's too heavy for you to lift. Anything with natural weapons, like sharp teeth, this rule of thumb likely also doesn't apply to. Anything larger than a cat should be considered dangerous by default.
- I can lift a fully-grown horse above my head, and I can hold my breath for ten minutes.
  To settle a wager, I once ate a pound of P.B. Fouke's strongest badger poison and then ran a mile in the nude. I cannot feel pain, and I can see for two miles unaided by a lens. No man can kill me. I have beaten a man of every race in formal combat, including a Turk, a Pygmy Negro Man and a rare Deepwater Jew.
  A medical doctor and two priests have written and signed a document confirming that I have no soul.
- Even cats will fuck you up if they really intend to.
  
  Only to a point though. They can break your skin, but they're so small that you can literally throw them across the room. There's no way a cat survives a human trying to kill them short of running away.
- The problem with apes is that relative to their size, they have way more muscle mass than humans. They have lower myostatin levels, so their muscle density is ridiculous.
  There are humans that could absolutely lift a gorilla, but there's absolutely no chance that they could win a fight against one. Even a strongman is going to struggle against a chimp.
  Humans are different because we discovered tools which meant we were more successful hunters. Since large muscles require more calories, natural selection did its thing and we got much weaker.
  
  No, we are first that way because we exhaustion hunted prey. Endurance in human is ridiculous (thanks to sweating) but we aren't that strong. Then came the throwing, with adaptions in the shoulders. Best any other ape can "throw" is a few meters, not tens of it.
  
  You know a lot of people that could lift 800lbs at all, much less when it's fighting back with that strength? I can sled 800lbs, but no way in hell anyone is just picking that up.
- Orangutans have entered the chat. Their only natural weapons are the long guns they're packing. Lean machine all folded up in a big skin sack. Plenty of humans could bench an adult orangutan, zero humans are winning that fight.
  That being said they're basically just a half step down the neurology ladder and 2 steps up the jungle ladder, so it makes sense that they would outclass us.
  
  Vimes picked himself up off the greasy cobbles and stared at the Librarian.
  He was experiencing something which had come as a shock to many people,
  usually in much more unpleasant circumstances such as a brawl started in the Mended Drum when the ape wanted a bit of peace and quiet to enjoy a reflective pint, which was this:
  the Librarian might look like a stuffed rubber sack, but what it was stuffed with was muscle.
  
  I'm pretty sure an Orangutan could lift a human, though.
- Lots of creatures within the realm of benchable weight often have specialized defenses that could constitute a 1-hit KO if you fuck up in the slightest.
  A chimp could rip your arms off. A kangaroo could crack all your ribs with a kick.
  If you consider these "natural weapons" then sure, I guess that just limits you to fighting juvenile cows or something, at which point I'll give it to you, I could probably take a newborn calf in a fight.
  
  If you attack a calf, their mother will fuck you up, though. I suppose the lesson here is that humans should use weapons to fight animals.
- Wait, you think you couldn't beat a giraffe?
  
  One punch from my scrawny nerd warrior arms and that fucker would shrug then donkey kick me half way across the fucking Serengeti.

Built different + got that dawg in em + wants it more
My money's on anon
- My money's on the winner of this fight. As in, I would pay to see this fight, provided the money went the winner. That gorilla's gonna bling up its habitat yo

Yeah! I would watch that.
- Can we also get Musk v Zuck as the opening?
  
  I'd rather see Musk and Zuck and Anon vs. the Gorilla.
- Isn't that basically Roman weekend entertainment?

I'm pretty sure 800 lbs of angry silverback would beat whatever krav maga bullshit, but whatever tough guy. Let me just grab a snack before you convince that normally peaceful ape to tear your fucking arm off.
- Yeah, we weighs less than an average female gorilla. A preteen probably outweighs him. Newton has a few things to say about what will happen.
  
  you just fight a really slow gorilla instead
  
  A gorilla at rest stays at rest, just wait for him to go to sleep then you literally can't lose.
  I think... I sucked at gorilla physics class.

Humans aren't physically violent enough to survive a much smaller creature (30-50kg), let alone fighting something just as violent but 10 times bigger.
I would really pay to watch that fight.
- You would pay to watch a man get ripped apart? No thanks, I'd rather not have that image on my mind for the rest of my life.
  Even something smaller like a chimp can bite straight through a human and has enough strength to rip an arm straight off.
  
  I'm commented this elsewhere as well, but the strength of chimps is commonly overblown. An average chimp is about 1.35-1.5x stronger than a human of the same mass. Male chimps weigh in at 40-70kg, which means that a large, strong chimp is about as strong as an average 105kg man.
  The bites are terrifying though. And, to be fair, a 105 kg man can easily be strong enough to deadlift 200kg, which could be enough to rip an arm off another person if they get the right lifting position.

6 ft 1 1/2 for 189 lbs.
I’m 6’2” and weigh 255lbs. My “ideal” weight tops out at 220.
Muscle weighs more than fat.
OP is a twig, and would get broken like one in an instant. No way he’d even land one punch on a gorilla.