Tender moments

Good ending: they both were looking for friends outside of relationship
- Better ending: they found their third
  
  Best ending: they both found out they weren't happy in the relationship, moved on, and found their person
  
  Eh, doubt that would be better. Among the Ethically Non-Monogmous, couples looking for a third are considered the worst. They're invariably looking for a woman to play out the guy's MFF fantasy. She might be OK with it as a birthday present for him or whatever, but it's not something she'd choose to do otherwise. If they do manage to find someone, it often doesn't go well.
  I think these couples need to put some cash aside and find an escort.
- Great ending:
  I was tired of my lady
  \ We'd been together too long
  \ Like a worn out recording
  \ Of a favorite song
  So while she lay there sleepin'
  \ I read the paper in bed
  \ And in the personal columns
  \ There was this letter I read
  If you like piña coladas
  \ And gettin' caught in the rain
  \ If you're not into yoga
  \ If you have half a brain
  \ If you like makin' love at midnight
  \ In the dunes on the cape
  \ Then I'm the love that you've looked for
  \ Write to me and escape
  I didn't think about my lady
  \ I know that sounds kinda mean
  \ But me and my old lady
  \ Had fallen into the same old dull routine
  So I wrote to the paper
  \ Took out a personal ad
  \ And though I'm nobody's poet
  \ I thought it wasn't half bad
  Yes, I like piña coladas
  \ And gettin' caught in the rain
  \ I'm not much into health food
  \ I am into champagne
  \ I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon
  \ And cut through all this red tape
  \ At a bar called O'Malley's
  \ Where we'll plan our escape
  So I waited with high hopes
  \ And she walked in the place
  \ I knew her smile in an instant
  \ I knew the curve of her face
  It was my own lovely lady
  \ And she said, "Oh, it's you"
  \ Then we laughed for a moment
  \ And I said, "I never knew"
  "That you like piña coladas
  \ And gettin' caught in the rain
  \ And the feel of the ocean
  \ And the taste of champagne
  \ If you like making love at midnight
  \ In the dunes on the cape
  \ You're the lady I've looked for
  \ Come with me and escape"
  If you like piña coladas
  \ And gettin' caught in the rain
  \ If you're not into yoga
  \ If you have half a brain
  \ If you like making love at midnight
  \ In the dunes on the cape
  \ I'm the love that you've looked for
  \ Write to me and escape
  Yes, I like piña coladas
  \ And gettin' caught in the rain
  \ I'm not much into health food
  \ I am into champagne
  \ I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon
  \ And cut through all this red tape
  \ At a bar called O'Malley's
- My friend was also looking for friends on Tinder. Now he's divorced.
- Twist: they are actually in a polycule.
  
  I keep thinking a polycule is a type of polygon and that it can be mathematically represented in Euclidean and non-Euclidean space.
- In my case, yes, I was much more desperate for gaming buddies.

“Do you like piña coladas?”
- In the pouring rain?

Dish is a revenge best taken out. Or something.

I was just about to say. Figured it was bait but glad to see it was a joke.

She’s probably a Nurse who drives a Nissan Altima and cheats on everyone of her BF’s. Like a typical nurse.
- I see an Altima, I give them their space. Not trying to have my car missing a bumper too.

Plot twist: they look for dates on LinkedIn
- LinkedIn and dating sites are hilarious juxtaposition - the opposite people are looking for each other and want to avoid the seekers on each site.