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Lord Of The Rings Memes @lemmy.dbzer0.com

SnokenKeekaGuard @lemmy.dbzer0.com

4w ago

The hobbits were the chickens all along

43 comments

Frodo was Gandalf's chicken. Realistically, how much damage to Middle Earth can one evil hobbit cause?
Edit: Just saw the title.
- Gandalf corrupted by the Ring would be a really interesting what-if scenario.
  
  Would love to see it. Wouldn't be mass conquest I think, but more knowledge conquest. That ring can't hold up to Hobbit weed man.
  
  Same as Galadriel, he would march into Mordor and replace Sauron.
  
  Here's a decent video you just reminded me of.
  https://youtu.be/U_gFEN-GhiQ

In place of a Dark Lord, you would have a hen! Not dark, but round and orange as the dawn sun! Loud as the sea! Scratching and pecking even to the foundations of the earth! All shall love me, and despair!
- Scratching and pecking even to the foundations of the earth
  "But also it was her destruction: For she pecked too greedily and too deep..."
  
  There was Eru, the One, who in Arda is called Ilúvatar; and he made first the chickens, the Holy Ones, that were the offspring of his thought, and they were with him before aught else was made.
- I came here to find this. Ty!
- The flaming eye on top of Barad-dûr is now a chicken eye.

Clearly this someone who has never had to deal with an aggressive rooster.
- What about using a Capybara
  
  Capy turns evil. Capy is too chill to care. Hot spring time.
- I had fighting cocks. I meant not only were they bred for it they had experience. Still not as bad as people make chickens out to be.
  Sure the cats didn't fuck with em much.
  
  Isn't that illegal in many places?

The chicken would have turned invisible as a wraith pretty quickly, and I bet it would have been powerful enough to escape the leash
- Also, the Ring was trying to get back to its master. If it realized the chicken wasn't corruptible, it would have abandoned the chicken at the first chance it got.
  
  Assuming that animals are corruptible, what animal would the ring go for if humanoids weren't an option?
  A goose? Could fly the ring to Sauron
- the Ring is treacherous and may just dissapear by itself.

This guy never played Zelda...

What if he dragged it along behind him on a long string, instead of... you know... right up against his chest.

Bro hasn't played Runescape, evil chicken is no joke

"Meat's back on the menu, boys" hits different in this timeline...
(Yes, I know that Taking the Chickens to Isengard is noncanonical in other ways...)

Surely Boromir would have killed the chicken and run off? Frodo only escaped him because the ring was right there on his person.

Ok, someone needs to write this book. Seriously.

43 comments