Hey Jesus, what REALLY happened with the fig tree?

I've heard a few variations of a story in which you had an altercation with a fig tree. I doubt that an upstanding saviour such as yourself would get upset without just cause, so what really happened between you and that tree? Is the slogan "Jesus Hates Figs" just hyperbole, or is there something nefarious going on with fig trees in general? Do you have any other fruit recommendations? Thanks in advance for clearing this up!