You've got 5mins hide 10k in 100 dollar bills in your home. If searchers can't find it after 2 hours searching you can keep it. Where do you hide it?

Would 10k even cover the damage the searchers are going to do to my home when looking for the money?

Yeah, if the searchers are only allowed to "look", but not disassemble anything, the challenge is easy, as long as bills aren't visible. If the searchers are allowed to tear my home apart, I'm handing over the 10k as soon as they arrive, and wishing them good day.
- Even then, I'm not sure 10k is enough for me to allow randoms in my house.
  I'd rather not lose random items to sticky fingers.

Put a vest on one of my cats and put it in one of the pockets. Lil buggers disappear into the mirror dimension when strangers come around.

Give it to my youngest kid. She'll put it somewhere where nobody can find it. Unfortunately this would also mean we can't find it either.

It'd be a wonderful surprise in the future though

That depends on whether I can separate the bills and keep the ones they don't find, or if it's an all or nothing system. There's a loose floorboard in one room, so if it's all or nothing, I'd lift that and chuck the package as far as possible under there, replace the board, then mess up multiple other places in the house.

If they can be separated, there are 100 notes, and they're individually going in every gap, crevase and hole I can find. Between the floor boards, under carpeting, in the gaps in the bottom of the couch, I have a stapler, so pop the bases loose on some chairs, then restaple them shut, tape them under floor level cupboards. I'd have to move fast, but their unlikely to find everything, so I'd be finding random $100 notes for ages afterwards, because there no way I'd remember everywhere I put them.

I like this idea, there's no way they'll find them all. They'll find some and you'll still have a tidy profit

Some stupid ideas:

Roll the bills and stuff them into a condom. Shove it up my ass. It might feel uncomfortable for the next couple of hours, and a few more hours after that, but hey, 10k USD, right?
I have a bunk bed that is made out of hollow metal tubes. Roll the bills, insert into a plastic bag and drop it into one of the vertical tubes holding the bed up. It should fall all the way down, with no way to see it unless you already know it has fallen inside it.
Put the bills (flat) inside a plastic ziploc bag and shove it inside my PC. I'll insert it between my SSD, or underneath the motherboard.

Of those ideas, I quite like the first two. Easiest to do is the second one, so that's probably what I'd do.

I think you are underestimating how thick the roll would be, unless you trained your ass very hard you won't be able to shove it there. Second one sounds good!
- I was actually thinking “It's just 100 × $100 bills, how thick can it be?” until I did the calculations just now. I found the value of 0.0043 in for the thickness of a 100 USD bill somewhere online and did the calculations.
  
  (10 000 USD) × (1 bill / 100 USD) × (0.0043 in / 1 bill) = 0.430 in ≈ 1.0922 cm
  I greatly underestimated the thickness of a stack of 100 USD bills. At just over a centimeter thick, I doubt I can even roll using the short side (for a smaller circumference).

So how’d it go cheese toastie? Were you able to hide it successfully?

Am booking my flight to the Maldives as we speak!

Like I'd give away the best hiding spots. Nice try gestapo, you ain't gonna catch me with anything.

Inside a box of wet wipes. Take out half the wipes, put the money (inside a baggie) in the tub, put some of the remaining wipes on top, and chuck it the storage bin under the bathroom sink with the extra shower liners and that value-sized jug of hand soap. It's such a mundane place that most people wouldn't think to look there. And the remaining wet wipes could go in a baggie in your pocket, so there's no evidence the wipes were tampered with.

Klem you're a freaking genius!
- Haha I try!

@CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al Nice try FBI

He's onto us...abort! Abort!

Hidden around the door frame of the front door. They'll walk right past it on the way in.

That's really clever! I approve

take the dishwasher/washing machine apart and put it in the hollows.

Slip them into some ziplock baggies and bury them inside the mass of leaves clogging my gutters and downspouts.

You might risk disqualification on the "in your home" technicality.
- One could argue gutters are apart of your home thus being inside the gutters means inside the home.

Pull a lightswitch cover off and slip them into the gap and into the wall.

I have a cupboard filled with old papers, folders etc. I'm going to put it in a battered old envelope and chuck it in there. Hide it in plain sight. There's so much shit in there it'll take ages to sort, plus I'll leave false clues other places.

Maybe put it in a bag and chuck it on the roof?

The tail on my tail buttplug. They will spend their time checking my asshole and never be the wiser.

Vacuum seal it with a small steel plate I have to add some weight. Drop it in the water softener tank and put a bag of salt on top of it.

I'd separate it into individual bills and hide in half-assed places. Searchers would end up scrambling and getting sloppy, rushing to find bills before anybody else. Like an Easter egg hunt, their greed would be their undoing, because I can tell you from experience that 2hr is not enough time to find 100 of anything in a madhouse, even $100 bills.

But also money in my country are coated plastic so perhaps I could hide a portion of it in the shower trap, which is easy to quickly hide (but gross). The easily found Easter Cash would discourage anybody slowing down enough to be thorough. Consider the mind games an investment.

Behind the laundry machine, where it can join the socks in the Lost Sock Dimension.

In the innards of my antique sewing machine, which is currently hanging upside down under its sewing table. The table is covered in stuff.

Behind the drawers of my locked filling cabinet.

If you put it in the lost sock dimension you'll never see it again
- Or maybe it'll show up, a bill at a time, over the course of years. That'd be nice.

I'd stuff it anywhere really.

It's kind of a mess in here... sorry.

Fridge condenser area

The chances of lasting go way up if you are able to hide it in your car. If it doesn't need to be started or run, there are a whole lot of places that won't get checked without taking the engine apart. Upper and lower radiator hoses are the first to come to mind. Oil and transmission pan are the next options. There is often even room under the intake.

Inside a p-trap. Or if I have something like fishing line, further down the pipe. Wherever I can tie it down and be obscured by all the gunk.

In my rec...room

What are the rules?

If there are none, I'd hide it in the pattern buffer.

Unbolt the toilets and lift them. There's spaces in the base you could probably stuff more than 100 bills in each toilet. Bolt them back down again.

Ummmm, do people not already have hidden storage?

Like, places purpose built to be very hard to locate, isolated from damage, and big enough to hold emergency supplies like cash and certain useful objects if the house is invaded like that.

I kinda assumed with lemmy being what it is, it would be a fairly common practice since they aren't that hard to install.

An example might be a small section under a house with a false wall. Or maybe a section of insulation in an attic that's in an out of the way corner and can be cover for a small safe. Stuff like that.

Am I really that far off from the crowd here?

Who do you think is on Lemmy?
It's not that much of a hive for the paranoid and mentally unwell.
It's mostly just people who got sick of Reddit.
- Who said anything about paranoid and mentally unwell, or are you just trying to be an asshole?
This wouldn’t even require hidden storage. A stack of 100 $100 bills would only be about 16cm X 6.5 cm x 1.1 cm and weigh about 100 grams. That’s smaller than a VHS tape.
- Oh, in that case yes I would use my usual secret hiding place for cash. (it has much less than that sadlol)
- Not about the size, it's about the capabilities of the search. Most hundreds have traces of drugs on them. One drug dog, if they aren't sealed well, and the search is over.
  Besides, I'm just amazed that the comment section wasn't full of people saying they'd put it in their secure stash. My main one isn't scent secure, but that's beside the point. I have multiple and I'm genuinely surprised that my fellow lemmings aren't similarly equipped what with the degree of privacy and security conscious users here.
I think it depends a lot on who people distrust. I don't particularly like US based big tech, but why would I make safe boxes from the people in my small city in my small country? The government, banks and insurance companies works fairly well here.

Rainwater downpipe.

Plenum

Up my ass and around the corner. They'll never think to look there.

If it's the police I'd lay it all out on the table. They'll somehow only find 5k after their search and because of semantics I'll get to keep the 10k.