6d ago

What's it like actually being aromantic from my perspective

Aromantic: means that an identifying person does not feel romantic attraction. Might not believe in romance, only everything else in between. Including, casual bonding activities. (Yeah, it's not all about.. you know.. nature doing its thing.)

Does that mean, no movies, no restaurants trips and etc? No actually: because an aromantic person may go to the movies, or anywhere with a friend or their family casually.

They can still go to a movie with their partner, or partners. without any romantic ideals, and it might still be considered just as a casual visit to the movies, or they might just casually go to a restaurant to eat some foods together.

It wouldn't be looked at as romantic to the aromantic person in the context. Now to the partner it may vary on how they perceive it but certainly both will see it as quality time together.

8 comments

Am I arospec or just autistic? My idea of romance doesn't match most people's, it feels much more like friendship+ for me.

Hey, an Aro sub, awesome!
I've been on a few "dates" that I had no idea were dates until years later. I was just hanging out with someone I thought was cool. Movies, dinner, etc - had no idea it was something more, I was left very confused when later the person got really angry with me and ghosted me.
(This was long before I learned being aromantic was a thing.)
- So valid.
  If both parties didn't agree on it being a date then it wasn't a date. lmao
- I experience some romantic attraction but I don't get "dates". Like, how is that different from just hanging out with a close friend? At least my girlfriend doesn't care about whether something's technically a date, she just likes hanging out with me.
  
  It's really just about intent.
- Happens, although those situations aren't always in a dating context. Always helps to find out ahead of time what that person you're going to various places with might view of it. That ghosting experience, can be very real especially if you don't know what might had triggered that.

Now tell me about the inverse perspective about how you feel about the way you are treated both in general and by partners. What does the distinction mean to you?
- general treatment. I'm treated fairly in general, there have been a few people that were against me just for saying I was aromantic. Not just on Lemmy, which yes even on Lemmy I had some gatekeepers targeting just the fact I labeled myself with the term. (strangely never happened to me on Mastodon.) But in actuality this bigotry is seemingly few and far between (on the Fediverse side of things).
  Most on Lemmy seem to look past that I am aromantic, but they don't necessarily hate it, or despise it. It might not be for them, or they might experience another type of attraction and I respect that. Over all treatment is pretty fair. (on the Fediverse, where I mostly am active at on the internet. (wait untill I get into what I think about this regarding x.)
  In real life it's a small percentage of people who are hating on the Aromantic identity decision, but just because it's associated with LGBT. They don't actually focus on what it actually means. and I do think this is unfortunate people hate on any minorities under lgbtq+ in generally, including aromantic.
  Now if I were to start talking about X, my perspective might not be as peaceful, while their are some tears, it's really not that bad on the Fediverse. On X I predict a large increase of peoplewith bad intentions who would be targeting just the fact I label myself as aromatic.
  Regarding partner treatment. While I can't give a direct answer to partners as a aromantic, for everyone, I can give my perspective on how I see it. and some possible scenarios.
  Being aromantic and being with a partner, there are actually a few possible scenarios and possibly counting+ so not limited to what I might talk about in this post.
  a. The partner, could still be romantic themselves. I might not like it, but could tolerate it under certian conditions. Like, if it wasn't too publicly obvious. So basically, dinning, and other casual activities would generally be fine with me if it isn't too lovey dovey, or publicly flirty. (in the romantic context, anything else, whether it flies with an aromantic can vary on the individual aromantic person.)
  b. The partner, might also be aromantic. Ideally the best scenario for the aromantic person, if they aren't wanting to do anything they don't want to.
  c. The worst case would be considered toxic for the aromantic person, where their partner does not admire that they are not into romance, may beg and plead them to do romantic things publicly.
  For me my partners is very accepting, no bad experiences. We live everyday lives, nothing negative there.
  Overall, in order to be aromantic, I see the signs and like other minorities, we need to fight for our rights to exist.

8 comments