Never Been Good with the Real World

I have never been good at making money or having a job.

I have been on SSDI for Major Depression the last 20 years and have had multiple hospitalizations for wanting to off myself.

I feel quite worthless and useless. I have been trying to get a job for the past 5 years or so. I have had some success with a couple of internships but nothing real.

Now I am outside the country and the home I was living in is being sold and I am being ordered to vacate. I'm not even in the country yet so I might be losing all my personal possessions.

I really don't know what to do. I am thinking of ending my life. I don't even know where to go for treatment.