The Swastidumpster is a Modern Engineering Marvel

I'm sorry, I'm normally on your side on this issue but calling it a "swastidumpster" is tasteless and makes you look bad. even if you want to liken it to a dumpster please use the correct term, which is a dumpstika.
- two people (so far) did not read your post to the end lol
  
  those are my proudest comments
- got me in the first half etc

Its so poorly made it's not allowed in europe. And normal teslas had issues getting allowed to be sold in Finland cause they are just built to such a low standard. You are getting scammed when you get a tesla.
- In my country, you would'nt even be allowed to drive it with a passenger car licence, as it exceeds the max weight for that.
  
  You can't drive it in most of Europe because of the hood height and the fact that all angles of the cars bodywork are sharp. UK has minimum "sharpness" laws for instance
  
  At least it's practical. I mean a kei truck is more practical. But then again a kei truck already takes a fat dump on the crossovers with a tiny flatbed that americans call a truck.

Maybe the people who bought one should complain to a consumer watch dog agency.
Oh, wait. Do those even exist anymore?

Until a few years ago, every $500 Tesla door handle had over a dozen contact switches, motors, microprocessors, and other points of failure, all exposed to moisture and thermal cycling.
Now they just have 2 motors, a couple hall effect sensors, and a microprocessor encased in plastic so they're 10x cheaper to make and don't fail nearly as much, but still cost $500.

Jesus Fuck.
I had to look it up.
It actually does void the warranty.
So not only are you not allowed to sell them (your own property) within the first year of buying one. But you also can't take it through a carwash?
And you have to pay $80k starting for one?
Man, I already thought the people who owned them were dumb. But holy fuck. Why would you do that to yourself?
- Where did you find this? Just curious as I know teslas have an actual “car wash mode” that disables some mirrors and other automatic parts of the car.
  
  Their own website states that damage from car washes void the warranty and that you must put it in car wash mode. But car wash mode doesn't prevent the damage indicated in OP's post. Also, you're expected to remember to put it in car wash mode instead of just going through the car wash like every other vehicle.
  Also, if the damage from OP's pictures is real, what's to stop Tesla from just saying it was caused by taking it through a car wash when it was really just out in the rain or you hand washed it at home?
  Bottom line is these things are a liability that aren't worth it unless you're dumb and have funny money to burn.
  
  I suspect that it's specifically the WankPanzer model rather than the regular cars.

"We need to cut costs! Why are we spending extra to drill these stupid holes all over the vehicle?"
"Sir, that's a drain h—"
"Yeah, I don't care what they are, I want them gone, or you're fired."
- And other such great hits like "why are you using six bolts to hold these together? Can't we do it with two? Do it with two." The man is an imbecile.
- It's the same guy who will get everyone together in a brainstorming session and have the engineers describe the problem and be like, "what if we drilled holes to let the water escape." Some cheeky mf'r will even chime in and say, "what about the cost?" Then the elon will do some napkin math and be like, "Ill have Johnson run the numbers, it should be an insignificant amount of spending. Greg have all your guys work OT to get this all sorted."

Did y’all see the bit about the space x rocket being less effective of the oldest rockets made. Calculation error means it can only take up 400 tons of the 1000 it supposed to. No way to fix it. NASA did it better.
- Thunderfoot said this like 5 years ago
  
  Poor Thunderf00t. Dude has been right damn near every time some bullshit tech "innovation" rears it's head, but still gets ignored.

The problem is you aren’t thinking like a billionaire. When your Nazi truck catches on fire when it rains and kills your customer, the company gets to sell a new Nazi truck to your customer’s child. That doubles every sale and potentially triples once the grandchildren are of driving age.
- Actual reason Elon Musk pushes for higher birth rates?
  
  Why stop there? Drop the driving age. Get rid of licenses and insurance. Mandatory vehicle ownership? Make it easier to sell to more.
  
  The guy that's developing robots to replace humans wants a higher birthrate.
- *Nazi emotional support vehicle

ROFL what brain damaged morons designed this shit?
- Ketamine is a hell of a drug.
- Monroe Live was pumping the single cast member so so hard for years. It make things easy to manufacture and stronger, but harder to fix.
- Welcome to automotive engineering.

Not enough Jpeg ! I can kind of make out part of the image.
- I need MORE red circles!

I love that for every bozo who bought one in Florida now the we're about to enter hurricane season in a few months.
- Not a problem! They got rid of NOAA so that means no more hurricane seasons
  
  I want to scream now that you just reminded me of that. Saw an interview with GOP politician in some red tornado state complain about how they got rid of NOAA and imploring the admin to bring it back because they provide a vital service. Didn't have that on my bingo card.

What about if it rains. Or like…you clean it yourself??
- Owners are expected to lick their cars.
  \ Most do it without knowing it's mandatory.

genius space man! thats a dumb flaw if ive ever seen one. congratulations on the new ford pinto.

Is the entire frame just cast aluminum!? It legitimately looks like he had his rocket engineers build this one.
You can't get more disparate inspection/maintenance schedules than aerospace vs. Automotive.
- They're all-in on these large monolithic aluminum castings. He has branded it giga casting. I've always assumed it was to make them non-repairable.
  
  Well you can engineer a fatigue life with aluminum so if your goal is to prevent a second hand market and promote car as a service it's one way to go.
  E: I'm aware of the software and other subscription stuff they do.
- I read the biography of him and yes, it's molded in one piece (or was at the time of the book from memory) it was inspired by the bottom of a toy car. The issue of water ingress was apparently brought up but he didn't think it would be an issue.
  
  I doubt there was significant concern for fretting/fatigue here. These frames look like they're almost intended to last only 5yr.
- This car is clearly built to be single-use though.
  
  We've mastered reusable rocketry, can't we apply those findings to the automotive industry? There must be a better way.
  
  I mean if they do make it more than 5mi off the lot, they wouldn't survive more than a winter or two where they salt the roads.

waterproof enough to serve briefly as a ~~boat~~
bathtub
- Features electric massage.
- And a toaster, you get two for one really

Hanlon's razor says this is stupidity, but I love the thought of a malicious engineer.
- I'd like to imagine that an engineer or designer got burned for pointing out issue with the CT, and after that they decided to just "yes man" Elon.
  Wanna tow stuff with it, but also have a cast Aluminum frame? Sure thing!
  You want capacitive sensors on the exterior of the vehicle? GENIUS!
  Reduce weakpoints in the frame by not putting in drain holes? We won't worry about rust because it's made of stainless steel and aluminum? Eureka!
- Maybe they all designed the swasticar as a joke / training for what not to do
  
  He is an idiot. We have purposely trained him wrong, as a joke
- You mean Occam's Razor?
  Edit: I've learned there's another variant of the simplicity argument. TIL. Thanks!
  
  Hanlon's Razor is a variant - when human activity can be attributed to malice or stupidity, it is more likely stupidity (or something like that).
  Basically most humans are dumb, not evil.
  
  Elon’s Razor: the most likely explanation is that Elon is an asshole.

Good for the american criminals, I guess, since the police departments using Teslas might be prone to shorting out on pursuits during heavy rain, I guess.
W Freedom (to commit crimes).
- "What are you doing turning into this car wash? The cops are right on our tail! " " Yeah, but the cops are looking for a dirty car, right?" " Boss, you're a genius! "
  
  Ah yes, the ol', Pay n' Spray technique. Classic!
  
  Lmao there was a game with that mechanic but it was a paint job, I can't remember which one
- Here in America, the criminals run the country
  
  In Soviet Russia, the country runs the criminals?

Elon doesn't want you washing the swastikas off.

Just buy a new one if it's stained.

just drill a few holes in that plastic, problem solved.
- That's casted aluminum and is the actual frame of the vehicle I believe. Check out the jerryrigeverything video where he breaks the frame on one of these, I think it's the same stuff. Super thin cheap foamy casted aluminum so cheap it looks like plastic.
  Edit: link to video
- in that plastic
  Excuse me, but that is a frame made of the finest aluminum that Tesla has to offer!
  You can still use the plastic working tools, just take care to not snap the frame.

You can't take those things though car washes? I heard you can only use touchless, but that's probably even more water than a brushy one.
- It's because everything's computer
  
  What an innovation, it's a smartphone on wheels held together by glue and hopes of disuse.
- With the older vehicles that were built in California, they had softer paint/clearcoat due to California's environmental laws. They get really bad swirl marks if you take them through an automatic wash with brushes.

Yeah but OP doesn't know what "it's" means, so I think this is a tie.
- "Its" breaks the normal rule about requiring an apostrophe to indicate possession. An easy way to remember this is to simply know that "it's" only ever means "it is".
  
  Thanks, that annoying bot from reddit, glad you're still around
- A tie in that OP also shorts out due to wiring sitting in stagnant water? Or is OP also a nazi? Just trying to figure out how a tie would work out here 🤔