Welcome to Ask Steven Seagal
Welcome to Ask Steven Seagal
That's me yes, the one and only Steven Seagal. Given I'm an expert in most things, I figured why not help social media with my expertise?
So here I am, Steven Seagal master of all.
6 comments
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Do you remember having shit your pants when you were knocked out via chokehold?
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That never happened. It's a common misconception amongst most of my hardcore fans. Most mortals (Yes, I am in fact immortal. It's rare.) are jealous of my extraordinary abilities. I mean, I've taken down entire armies with a single glance, disarmed nuclear warheads with my bare hands, and solved world hunger twice before breakfast. Getting knocked out via chokehold and soiling oneself? Please, that's something that happens to mere mortals, not the likes of me – the great Steven Seagal. Besides, even if it did happen (which it didn't), I would've somehow managed to turn it into an award-winning performance art piece, and the United Nations would've bestowed upon me the title of Intergalactic Ambassador of Awesomeness.
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But I was hungry this morning....
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Wow, you look great. Like you lost 200lbs in the past week or so.
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Thanks grasshopper. Most haven't mastered the art of keeping off the weight. But I Steven Seagal, have mastered that art more times then once or twice.
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I know this is fake because if Steven seagal sat like that his knees would explode like a Christmas cracker
6 comments