Ah shit. Here we go again.

Just shit in the shower and waffle stomp that thing down the drain…. Right?
- Boys I got a live one for this from Google's resident AI genius
  
  Live what? Live 14 year old Reddit comment? Please dude lol

Still better than having to go right as you step under the water, and then having to perform a sacred rain dance to hold it in
- That sounds awful. Just take a wet shit. I did it as a kid more often than I wish I had to, but I'm glad I didn't hold it in

Bidet all day baby
- Bidet gang all day
- Shitting right after shower is the best 🚿🍑
  
  🧇 🦵

Go back into shower, resume task
- Waffle stomp
  
  Get outta here with that colon privilege, with your solid stool and fiber rich diet

No pity. Everyone knows that you turn on the shower, then sit on the toilet until you shit everything out you can shit. Only then, do you get into the shower.
If you come out of the shower still needing to shit, you did it wrong.
- This message is brought to you by people who don't pay for their own water.
  
  Nobody should have to pay for water
- Coffee, no shit, shower, fuck
  
  That’s why you relax, and drink your coffee slowly. Also, the burning.

Just do what I do - shit in the shower and beat it down the drain with your roommate's toothbrush
- You animal.
  
  Are you secretly a fungus?

Looks like OP never bought a bidet during the great pandemic TP shortage.

In my experience, shitting after a shower is usually a very clean shit, barely need to wipe at all

Right back in the shower. When I'm at home and take a shit I jump in the shower 5 out of 10 times . Already got my pants almost off anyway

Just shower again ez
- Jealous of your hot water capacity. Take a shower at my apt, and it's on a 1 hr cooldown after that, or you're taking a cold one.

Before I got my celiac diagnosis, it’d be mid shower :^). Curse you delicious gluten

Shitting doesn't make you dirty. It makes you less dirty.
- I don't think that's correct, other than maybe technically (yes, the best kind). Excrement, itself, is dirty; when inside of you, it's mostly contained, but while traveling outside of you it leaves deposits on your skin. Your insides might be (debatably) cleaner afterward, but your outsides - where it usually matters most in terms of cleanliness - won't be. Otherwise, we wouldn't wipe or have bidets.
  Besides that, there are secondary impacts. For example, assuming you're in a place with modern plumbing and not camping or an outhouse or something, you should probably flush when you're done. This causes a toilet plume. Personally, I don't think this is enough to be considered "dirty," but I definitely wouldn't describe it as "less dirty."
  Finally, partially depending on both your toilet type and body type, even if you're eliminating sanitized waste, there will still be interactions with several parts of the commode. Especially in public, that is definitely not a hygienic experience.
  edit: I generally proofread my comments before posting, but somehow I still miss instances of my phone changing things like "wouldn't" to "would," completely undermining my intent.
  
  We wipe because outside cleanliness is also important, not because it is more important than inside cleanliness. Otherwise you can just never take a shit to keep your outside cleanliness but then you'd become sick because your inside is too dirty.

I'm just happy to get rid of that shit.

"Ah shit" indeed