1d ago

Anon plays a prank

122 comments

fake: anon has a girlfriend
gay: uhhhh oh no is this real

1 mile
take the bus
This is a complete fiction, right?
- Not really. I used to take a bus every day to get to the metro station for a distance of only 1.5 km (0.93 mi). But to be fair it's because I was always on a tight schedule.
- When I was 330 lbs. (150kg) it would take me 30 minutes to walk a mile, and I would be post-exercise dumb for at least 30 more. You don't want to the post-exercise dumb for class (taking or teaching).
  Now (225 lbs. [~102kg]), it would still take me about 15 minutes to walk it, tho at that pace my HR wouldn't significantly increase, and I might decide to take the bus instead, if there's any sort of weather.
  
  For everyone, I'd like to point out that the bones on this man were the same size, carrying 150kg vs carrying 100kg. They would continue to be the same size at 70 or 60kg.
  Imagine, the next time you wonder how fat people have poor health outcomes: the same 10 square centimeters of bone in the legs could be carrying 40, 50, or a full 100 kg of weight. Or worse, the cross section of cartilage between the bones. Or worse. More weight than that.
  
  Thanks. Yes I get it. I am projecting too much of my own experience here.
- ???? Free college buses around campus in the winter time is dope what's the problem
- Does it feel better if you say it's a shuttle instead?
- If it's a campus bus it's almost certainly free, and probably timed to class schedules. If you only have 10m or so between classes it makes sense.
- Free bus and constant buses arriving? Why not.
- I've known people who have taken the subway/metro to get between classes on the same campus, so this is still plausible
- Eh, 1 mile is pretty far when carrying a heavy backpack. If it's free, I'd take the bus.
  
  Pfft. When I was young, I had to walk to TWO schools while carrying TWO heavy backpacks. The bus wasn't free because buses were still feral vehicles that tried to kill us on our way to school.
- Colleges love to flex their local bus service. Especially if it’s a big campus in the north.
- I mean depends on the weather and how much time you have. I have a shop I go to regularly about 5-10 minutes walking distance away. Some days I just don't feel like walking and take the bus. If she had to go there more than once per week I can completely understand some days just not feeling like it.
  
  Yeah fair enough really. Again I don't know what's going in everyone's life so I shouldn't judge.
  But really everyone's a weakling these days, except me of course. I'm very tough (I drive a cybertruck)
- Why? Do you live in america or something where bus infrastructure is bad?
  
  I'm moderately flabbergasted that you'd consider anything other than walking for that kind of distance.
  But I don't know the particulars here so maybe I should have kept my thought for myself.
  
  Non-american with great infrastructure here: For anything below 2 km I'm walking.
- I took the bus for those distances several times when in college.
- 1 mile take the bus
  This is a complete fiction, right?
  Wait. Hear me out.
  Chilly snowy winter campuses, especially in the frozen North where it gets chilly and snowy, will often be nigh impassable after they close down the underground tunnels -- which they invariably do permanently as soon as there's any report of crime down there - and then it's either walking in your moon boots across the couldn't-afford-to-clear snowy campus pathways in 2ft of snow, or take a bus from one collection point to another and cut down on the trudging.
  I dunno how OOP rode his bike, though, unless it wasn't snowy and kids are used to the shuttle service (me, I'd speed-walk across campus a few times a day. I was in great shape!) .
  Just, small bus routes can be crazy-valuable if they avoid risk. That's all.
- maybe she had a tight timetable idk
- Its a greentext, so yeah.

Wait, we're discussing the wrong thing entirely.
This woman took the bus for a one mile hike while she was in college? Like, in her twenties she looked at the prospect of walking for just over a kilometer and a half, a distance you can apparently cover by bike faster than by bus, and she went "nah, I need mechanical help for that".
This happened in the US, didn't it?
- Do you take the escalator, or do you walk up the stairs ?
  What a weakling you are for choosing the escalator.
  
  I walk up the escalator.
  Or, if it's so busy that you can't comfortably do that I take the stairs.
  I also take the stairs instead of the elevator at home because it's only a handful of floors and man, I am already old, decaying and extremely out of shape. My knees would fuse solid otherwise.
  
  Escalators really aren't that common where I live. The architecture is mainly regular stairs and then there's a lift somewhere nearby for disabled people.
  A few malls built in the late 90's/early 00's tried emulating the American escalator mall look but it didn't really take off.
- My university was literally all uphill from dorms with traffic and 90 degree heat. You took the fucking bus.
- I'm sure the physically disabled students at that college appreciate you letting them know that you think one mile is too short for a bus ride
  
  Are we counting obesity as one of those disabilities?
- Lemmy: Cars are a plague and shouldn't exist, communities need functional public transit
  Also Lemmy: Someone used public transit when they could have walked? Pathetic.
  
  Both can be true. I love public transport, but I wouldn't take the bus for 1.5 km. I'd walk or, at most, take my bike.
  Yes, also if it's a little rainy outside.
- To be clear, this did not happen at all
  
  Oh, you go around telling kids about the tooth fairy, too? Get in the spirit.
  
  And also somehow anon was a gay man.
  
  It could have. Greentext doesn't have to be fake either
- Fwiw as far as the reasonableness of taking a bus 1 mile, that's 16 minutes at a brisk walk. Less at a very fast walk. Depending on traffic, number of stops, etc., a bus could take about 10 minutes to go the same distance, probably less. So you're definitely saving time, even if it's not a huge amount. You're also saving effort and sweat, depending on how fast you go and the weather.
  When I was in uni, I would regularly walk the 1.2 km to campus. But I would catch a bus the 1.8 km (remembering that a mile is 1.6) to the shops. Because it's a hot unshaded route with a significant uphill. Plus I had to carry the shopping. Whereas the walk to uni was flat, shady, and I rarely had to carry more than just a laptop. And also there literally wasn't a bus that could take me.
  So yeah, depending on how all the specifics fit together, I don't see anything wrong with taking a bus 1.6 km.
- American infrastructure is so heavily skewed against pedestrians in pretty much every city that isn't NYC. While large college campuses tend to be more pedestrian friendly, it still isn't great. And since most Americans aren't walking a mile everyday, when you then couple that with a backpack with materials needed for two different college classes like textbooks, laptop and charger, or notebooks and pens, it can be difficult for some ti walk that distance for whatever reason.
  I don't know why people are still surprised that the country designed to punish people who are too poor to afford a car has so little pedestrian and cycling.
  
  Yeah DAE amerikkka bad!?
- In the Netherlands, students get free public transport. If there's a bus coming that you can use for free, why not?
  
  For 1~2 km? No.
  I went to college in Breda (HIO at Hogeschool Breda, later known as Avans Hogeschool).
  If I were to take the bus from the train station to the school building, I'd have been late to class too often.
  I walked to class, those 2km from the station to the school at the Lovendijkstraat. Only when it rained did I take the bus and accepted the fact I'd be marked tardy.
- It could be cold, windy, or really hot out. Or she doesn't want to walk a mile with all her school stuff, or she doesn't have great mobility. Also there are plenty of 30+ people going to college
  It could also just be made up, maybe stop looking to get outraged
- Lots of universities have free busses that you can just walk on, no pass or anything needed that loop around campus. They're so frequent and convenient that using them is often just the routine, even if it's not literally faster. It's easy to get into the habit of waiting for the bus on cold days, and you keep it in the summer.
  
  This thread is giving me tons of excuses to take the bus for a ten minute walk and not a lot of spirited strutting.
  I'll check my chauvinism, though, from the dialectalism alone, there's clearly plenty of lazy young people to go around worldwide.
- I could regularly beat city buses on 3-5 mile rides in the city. They have to stop all over the place and the routes between places are never direct.
  But this greentext is probably made up anyway.
  
  I beat it consistently on my 10 mile commute. In fact, on a crappy weather day (lots of snow), I barely missed the bus, so I caught up and rode it the rest of the way.
  Buses aren't fast, but they are warm and dry. It takes ~~20 min to get from the stop near my house and the transfer I'd take to work, which was ~6 miles (~~10 km). That's _{18mph (}30km/h), which is doable on a bike. My whole commute took about 40min, 30 on a good wind day. Taking the bus with a transfer took about 45 min.
- A bus that's convenient in the US? What are you smoking?
  
  Fair point.
- Aside from most greentexts being fabricated stories, how long do you think they have between classes to get moved around on campus?
- My Pepsi Co connective tissues are mostly plastic. It's not a durable plastic :(
- i also lived a mile from my uni and took the bus sometimes, in my defence, the uni was on a steep ass hill and i lived at the bottom of it
- Sounds like public transportation

I war of the worlds’d my partner once. It’s the sort of thing you do once, realize just how fucked up your actions were, and learn never to do it again, or a yearly tradition if you’re with precisely the right person.
Created like 2 years of emotional dependence from that. Really stagnated our personal evolutions. Truly a terrible joke. I regret it weekly.
- What did you do exactly, if you don’t mind us asking?
  
  I once somehow convinced my girlfriend that we didn't have a dog and she had just imagined it. I stopped making jokes like that afterwards.
  
  NO
  It’s replicable and I know one of you will consider trying it despite the flashing warning signs. I’d rather not instigate others into betraying the trust of those closest to them. When I said that I regret it weekly, I was entirely sincere.
- You what
  
  Faked a narrative so convincingly that the partner really thought something (i guess) terrible has happened.
  You know, like when War fo the Worlds was aired for the first time, people really thought aliens had attacked the US.
  
  I’m not looking to date myself or offer others my abhorrent methodology, but this is what I took inspiration from.
- What does the titular WotW reference mean here? I haven't seen the movie.
  
  I assume it's in reference to the 1938 radio adaptation of the novel The War of the Worlds, which was framed as though it were a legitimate news broadcast being periodically interrupted by reports of an alien invasion. What we might consider "found footage"-style nowadays if there had been, you know, actual footage. Story goes that a non-zero number of people didn't get the memo that it was a radio play and thought Martians were actually invading.
  
  Your joke is excellent but my nose is bleeding and I blame you.

Sounds like really good boyfriend material, as usual. Instead of being grateful that someone found their wretched existence worthy of love (or whatever that was).
- good thing it's unreal and homosexual

Op should tell her asap. Op caused this and if op truly cares about the situation they should take responsibility and the blame.
Worser cases reality 1: The panic attack was unrelated and Op is a stone cold bastard for not asking/showing empathy about it.
Worser cases reality 2: Gf thinks there was someone else and she had cheated with on accident, these panic attacks keep occurring as its settles as a deep trust issues complex.
Best case reality: Op tells her straight to the point and offers a sincere apology. Gf forgives op, and the relationship is strengthened in the long term.
Mixed reality: Gf is furious and dumps Op on the spot. They both dodged a red flag and were simply not compatible in finding eachothers boundaries. You don't pull jokes like that on a single whim, it’s clearly part of their nature.
This is a green text and probably fake btw.
- This is […] probably fake btw.
  YOU SAY SIKE RIGHT NOW GODDAMMIT
- Are you the kind of person who thinks pranks are inappropriate too? I would not apologize for this and I would not respect someone who apologizes for this. It's funny, it's over, it makes a good story, and it builds character.
  
  Pranks are only funny when everybody is laughing.
  
  As someone who has experienced psychotic episodes in the past, this "prank" would really fuck me up in a really unfunny way.
  We don't know much about the gf, but we know that she supposedly had a panic attack over it, and that's not funny.
  I'd find it funny only if I was told within a couple minutes (before having a panic attack, contacting my psychiatrist, and making arrangements for a potential inpatient stay), and I would absolutely dump a partner who'd refuse to apologize for this.
  You honestly wouldn't apologize to your partner after your 'prank' gave them a panic attack?
  
  Not at all, i just respect that people have personal boundaries and its ok to not be compatible with everyone.
  Personally i would love this prank. But i also dis experience one where my headphones disappeared and reappeared in my Locker where i would never put them. I am autistic and mentally just spiraled till my best friend came clear.

I used to race the bus to work and I'd usually win. It's hard over any significant distance.
Good on you OP. Keep on peddling.

122 comments

NO