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NonCredibleDefense @sh.itjust.works

LOCKMART @sh.itjust.works

1d ago

Also, the Canadian army or something, but they didn't make this particular list.

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Are there women in the Alberta Rat Patrol? If yes, is there one by the name "Jane Doe"?

Yesterday I learned that Keanu isn't USian but in fact Canadian. Today I wonder how he's not at the top of this list.
- He annihilates 3/4 of the secret services, kills or at least mortally wounds most of Trump's stooges (including Musk and his human shield), then only gets caught after a 48 hour manhunt. Then the US is barely capable of keeping itself together, let alone to further protect his majesty, Donald I.

They forgot to include Kinder Surprise eggs. Those are absolutely deadly to Americans.
- This gives me a visual of a heavily armored troupe of soldiers, with AT and maybe even a tank, all in full equipment, laying on the ground, not moving; and each has a Kinder Surprise in their mouth, lodged tight.
  
  They're essentially used like light grenades

compact, tactical France
Our France is 3x as big as the original and 99% ice. It also has stop signs that are incomprehensible to English speakers, so good luck figuring that out, invaders.
- Your stop signs are more French than the stop signs in France
- Arrêt!
  
  What?
- Do you also have the "beware of ninjas"-sign they have along French highways?
  EDIT:
  
  If that's not a warning about sudden shurikens, then what else can it be?
  
  Don't forget the folding chair:
- You need to make them legible so that the invaders know to stop

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_hippo for confused non-canadians
- TIL...
  Fucken lol
- I assume it's this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvPwJQXzHm0

How could you forget the degens from upcountry? We all heard what The Ginger and Boots did to that ostrich.
- Allegedly
- And Canada Gooses! Canada Gooses are barrel-chested and majestic! The envy of all ornithologies!
  
  You got a problem with Canada Gooses, you got a problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate.
- I heard it was a sick ostrich
  
  Allegedly

Underestimating the Mounties on a mountain is a huge strategic mistake.

You forget the big cold.

The PATH is a wild place.
- For those that don’t know https://www.toronto.ca/explore-enjoy/visitor-toronto/path-torontos-downtown-pedestrian-walkway/

Lets not forget ab the large draftsble moose population!
- Never, ever get into an argument with a moose.
  Forget pumas, those fuckers are the real apex predator of The North. 😨
  
  There are pumas in the north america?!???!?

Are there no 12' skellingtons in the states? My town is filthy with them. I've never felt so safe as I do right now with all these gigantic bone daddies.

I dunno.
I'm kinda scared of becoming the crack spiders bitch.

38 comments