5mo ago

my gf is hardly ever online and prefers games

she’s just not a very active person online. when she is, shes only active in group chats with her friends.

usually, she talks about video games, and is actually offline because she plays video games almost all the time.

is there any way to salvage the relationship? she’s too focused on her interests to be interested in mine, and like I said, is almost always playing games so we barely talk aside from: “hi ❤️” “Hi sweetie ❤️” “hru??” “Good, just playing games, you?” “good :)) im listening to music” and then the conversation ends because she doesn’t message first and is busy with the other stuff.

(i have tried talking to her and she says she’s usually busy. shes either genuinely busy, busy with games, or in a bad mood and doesn’t feel like talking [sad/tired])

9 comments

I think it's not necessarily about what the both of you do, as it is about how you both feel about your relationship and each other. If you're both cool with doing your own thing and occasionally getting together, then you're fine. (Don't get sidetracked because "other couples are doing everything together", that's bullshit.)
However, if you do want more, or different than this, you really should talk to her about how you're feeling.
- i have, she says she’s sorry but then continues
  
  Okay, what I hear you saying is that you want more out of this relationship. More attention, more interaction, more time together, more connection. She, on the other hand, seems to be happy by herself and doesn't try to meet your needs, or just makes empty promises that she doesn't keep.
  I don't think it can go on like that. You would forever have to live with your needs not being met, hoping for a change that doesn't come.
If she's playing games you could voice chat in parallel. I do that a bunch with my friends. Or you could even play something together, like "we were here" or "it takes two" (or "bread and Fred" if you want to break up). Like in general maybe take more interest in each others hobbies. Talk about which games she's playing and what games she's excited about from future releases, tell her what kind of music you're listening to. If the conversation just ends because she doesn't message anymore after "I'm listening to music" it's because neither of you picked up the topic the other presented.
- she hardly ever talks to me anymore. usually she’s too busy to hang out with me, doesn’t invite me to play with her, and doesn’t seem interested when i wanna play a game or “forgets”. thank you so much, though 🫂
  i try to be interested in her hobbies but she doesn’t pick up the conversation or “doesn’t see” my messages, and she doesn’t try to be interested in mine in return, usually I either get a “that’s nice”, she laughs at it, or is like “oh! that’s not…” or even just “… ok”
  i should also say lately shes had romantic messages about guys but “can’t tell me” who she’s talking about. at first I thought she was referring to me. flirtatiously I asked, “who are you referring to 🤭” and her response was “i can’t tell you…”
  she also seemed rather guilty and avoidant. i also found out she was referring to some guy and talking about how she wanted him to get her pregnant??
  
  Uhm are you two monogamous? Also just making sure, you're long distance i take it? Honestly that relationship does not sound healthy at all unless you're poly.
  
  it's normal for people to talk less over time, and it's also normal for relationships to just fade away, don't worry too much, and don't blame yourself, either; it's just normal. move on and find somebody else who you like, and who wants to spend time with you.
- I agree so much with this. Communication is key

9 comments