Metal

This is why I hate religion. It turned this person's brain to mush. If you are willing to believe a man walked on water why would it be hard to believe the bullshit Trump spews out?
Religion removes your critical thinking skills making you a prime target for con artists.

My dad is a born-again Christian and he threw out all his Black Sabbath records when he (re)converted. I started listening to classic metal in college, and I eventually had to ask my dad... "You threw out this? This is some of the lyrically-mildest stuff I've ever listened to." He just kinda shrugged, and admitted that he overreacted a bit, but this is still 100% the way lots of the evangelicals I grew up with think about anything that's not explicitly marketed as "Christian."

Shit

Wait, does that mean that Doom 2016 is based on true events, then? Because the H E A V Y M E T A L always plays when a portal opens up with loads of demons!
- Doom 2016 isn't a video game. It's a documentary, and it was happening in real time.

Ohhhh, so that's where that goat-bro pops in from!
I can't understand him much but it's nice to have a friend over once in a while.

Religious nutjobs gonna religious nutjob
- I personally love that he believes the mere act of watching a horror movie or listening to a loud sound can open a demonic fear portal yet his fear of fear portals does not.

I think this makes me want to listen to it more

You can say shit on the internet.
- Uncensored version
  
  Ow, my eyes! Censor your fucking shame, you damn poop-eating bastard child birthed from your mother's poopy asshole!
  
  Dear fucking God. How dare you post that disgusting filth. Get that fucking ifunny shit out of my meme
  
  You are a hero.
- You can say shit outside of the Internet too. Shit's crazy that way.
  
  No shit.
- POLICE!!!! THIS POST RIGHT HERE!!! THEY DID A NAUGHTY!!!!
- Sir this is a Christian Minecraft server
- Nah you can't say shi…
  
  Oh man, I haven't seen candle Jack in a minu...
- I got a temporary suspension on that R-word site that shall not be named for using the word "retard" in the context of refrigerating bread to slow the development of mold and there was no way to contest it.
  So, with that sort of shit going on all over the internets, I give folks a little grace these days when it comes to self-censorship.
  
  my instance censors it, im confused as fuck
  
  Well, frankly, I don't like the use of that word either. Shit isn't a slur. I place slurs in a very different category than curse words.
- Based on current YT trends you can't actually say "shit" on the internet
  
  TIL YouTube is "the internet".
- Won't get promoted by the content algorithm on most sites though

Holy fucking shit. I almost was exposed to a swear word on the Internet by some asshole cunt. That bitch didn't know it's fucking illegal to swear on the Internet. Thank fucking god someone put a thin white line over it. I was about to shit a brick.
fuck
- You've been engagement baited
- Bold comment considering your username.
  
  Always make sure to check your disk drives for errors before you have issues
  Or in other words:
  You best filesystem check yourself before you filesystem wreck yourself.
- I'm sick of it too
- They didn’t want to open a portal to hell via a spirit of ~~shit~~

They think metal is all about devil and demon and hell.
Metal in reality: i'll make a journey and find this holy sword to defeat evil and uphold justice.
Alternatively: I'm a dwarf and i digging a hole.
- I listen to metal with themes of "my life has go so horribly wrong and all i know is pain" and "hot goth vampire girls". Sometimes both at the same time.
  
  Metal is EVIL!!!! Also metal- 30min prog rock song about the singers devoted mother dying and going to haven to get her wings
- And then there is a 91 year old Christopher Lee that is singing about his Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Grandfather, Charlemagne.
  No, I'm not joking.
  
  That's fuckin sick! Thank you for sharing.
- It's wonderful how misunderstood a lot of the 'evil' metal bands are. Bands like Cradle of Filth and Cattle Decapitation have ostensibly repulsive artwork and song titles/lyrics, but the themes and meaning behind the songs meander between tongue-in-cheek fun to philosophical pondering to outright castigation of humanity's treatment of the natural world. Judging a book by its cover and all that stuff...
  Then again, there's Behemoth, who literally describe summoning demons and other pagan and satanic rites in their songs. But good grief, the music is so good.
  
  Cradle of Filth is one of the worst examples to bring up, lol. Principles of Evil Made Flesh and V:Empire is mostly about vampirism and satanism. They literally have albums (Cruelty and Dusk) about Elizabeth Bathory sacrificing children in rituals to Satan to keep her youth and so many songs in Midian have Anti-Christian themes including a protagonist in one of the songs burning down a church.
  But agree with you, only a small fraction of metal is satanic, it's mostly limited to a small subsection of Black Metal. Although... the wiki page for Early Black Metal in Norway is always a fun read. :)
  https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Early_Norwegian_black_metal_scene
  
  The origins of metal have more moral correctness than the "Christian" US. Scroll all the way back to 1970, "War Pigs" by Black Sabbath. Song very plainly and literally about the corruption of the political establishment and the evil of war. That undercurrent never went away, all the way to the present.
- 🎵diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole🎵
- Or about fighting Nazis and defending the Vatican.

did anyone find out what metal they were listening to? 👀 asking for a friemd
- fleshgod apocalypse - sugar
  addiction trigger warning
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xmq3iyW02b8
- https://youtu.be/ZMR-RCKjeW0
  
  Actually yeah, Rehfeldt basically is "metal" with the goofy quotes, haha. I think that means Radio Disney is the lazy river to hell.
  
  That was amazing. Do you think this band has ever been in a room with Armie Hammer?
- Portal - Swarth probably
  jk, idk
  
  Came here to post this. My olds roommate legit asked if I was trying to open a portal to hell when I first played them for him.
  Fantastic mood setter.
- my bet is on iwrestledabearonce
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eX4GOltUDdA
- Probably this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vCnsJkoaGE
- https://youtu.be/0eeRBh7fiQ4
  Definitely Christopher Lee singing about his Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Grandfather, Charlemagne.
- Luna13 - Hear my Call ?

I don't like metal. But if it rips portals open, I'll start listening anyway.
- Rip & Tear!
- Do they have to be ripped? Can metal not simply caress them open?
  
  You can't caress demons out of the void!
- I thought I didn't like metal. A 91 year old Christopher Lee made me reevaluate that stance
  https://youtu.be/0eeRBh7fiQ4
  I can actually understand him singing it
  
  what you want to listen to is called power metal. they have amazing vocals and epic riffs evoking heroism and glory.
  if you're interested in a journey, try Iced Earth - Dante's Inferno. it's like 9 songs in one. you can tell what it's about from the title.

Damn, American conservatives are weird as fuck.

God damnit, I've spent all this time listening to metal and still haven't gotten my portal yet??!?

If anyone's curious, it's Psalm 69 by Minestry.
- Based on the username, something industrial would have been my first guess.

You have to use an LP and play it backwards for the portals to open or else it won't work.
- Turn me on, Deadman
  
  Satan eats Cheese Whiz!
- Have to break those in half and throw them in the trash to prevent Satan from taking over your brain.

At this point we really need to accept that there are still puritans amongst us. That said, [insert profane insult here, everything I could think of would irritate someone, and well, shit].
- I said BS at a presentation the other week, like literally the letters, because I wanted to say something completely wrong was bullshit, so I censored it for my wide audience. My boss "mentored" me later that I shouldn't say that because I never know who is watching my talk. If those little bitches lose the heart of my discussion because I used an expletive to reinforce the strength of my observations, they can eat a dick. Obviously, I said I'll try to keep their advice in mind because...
  
  I really wish we could get back to a place where people weren't so easily offended.
- I want to read your insult, so I can measure it to the profanities popping in my mind.
- Idiots have existed at all times. Sometimes they are competent at other things that make them seem competent but they are not.

Slayer is a Christian band, just saying.
- If you're into Satan, you're subscribing to Christian concepts. An atheist does not believe in God and in extension, Satan does not exist either.
- Are they like a knock-off version of Stryper?

What does the guy need in his life? There's a glitch with the photo that cuts off right when he says. Did anyone follow-up and ask him what he needed?

Hypothetically once a demonic hell portal opens could you push someone through it, stop listening, and trap them there? Will it work if I am the only listener using ear buds and Spotify? Asking for a friend...

Bros not gonna believe this secular humming sound did the same thing! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWX6snuwtDc

So what does he listen to? Messiaen? Rautavaara? Or some cringe american band whose whole material is the blasphemous doctrine of some megachurch? If the answer is something like the first two, they certainly know how to open portals to hell and heaven and back while being extremely religious.

fuck