Let's start some fights

Oracle linux, just tell them your carpet has an unlicensed database.
- I was invited to a user group where oracle Linux was trying to get more adopters. The coolest thing they had was the ability to update a kernel driver while it was running. In place. Without downtime.
  I asked them if they planned on pushing this improvement to the kernel devs and they just gave me a blank face.
  Told me everything I needed to know about Oracle Linux. I promptly formatted the thumb drive they gave me for free.
  
  If they released it for free then Ubuntu wouldn't have Ubuntu Pro to sell subscriptions to.
  
  All of our testing cells at work run Oracle!
  I don't know much about it though.
- They want to clean the carpet, not lose the house.
- They actually have an oracle cloud too. It's used by some companies... And it's awful.
  
  It's used by Tony fucking Stark.
  I mean, I can suspend disbelief that he is Iron Man and has futuristic fights with aliens
  But I cannot believe that same man uses fucking Oracle Cloud.

- Whoa, whoa, there are people who don't like Windows? I thought Windows was like the king of operating systems?
  
  Whoa, whoa, there are people who like Windows?

All of them except Hannah Montana Linux, which is the One True Linux.
- TempleOS is the one TRUE OS
  
  TempleOS is God's chosen OS, but I don't live at church. I use TempleOS to pray, and Hannah Montana Linux for personal tasks. That way I get the best of both worlds.
  
  But it isn’t Linux.
- This is the only universal truth any Linux user intuitively knows in their heart.
- Hannah Montana Linux is the past, RebeccaBlackOS is the future!!

Similar to a joke my dad told in the 90's
If Microsoft ever makes a product that doesn't suck, it'll be a vacuum cleaner.
- Your dad is a great dadjoker!

https://valetudo.cloud/
- This actually looks cool with several robots being supported
  
  If you want a smart vacuum but don't want to lose your privacy or be reliant on a cloud service, Valetudo is the way to go.
- @besmtt the only right answer to this question as meant, not as written. :blobcatfingerguns:
  @NONEdc
- You've just sent me down another rabbit hole. Thanks man...

Apparently it's Athena Linux. At least, that's what the hackable vacuums use.
- https://builder.dontvacuum.me/
  This website is great xD
  Privacy Policy: I do not care about privacy and will try to sell, rent, lease or give away all your information (name, address, email, your pets name, etc.) to any third party (but only if they pay enough). Also I will send you unsolicited email with cute dog puppy pictures.
  
  most honest privacy policy.
  
  Well now I'm even more conflicted about sending them my email!
  
  Is there even a place on the website that asks for that information?

android
- Damn I really can't argue with that. The developer is a prick
  
  Can someone seriously type with their penis? Impressive!
- It'll randomly doze off whenever you don't look at it for 5 seconds, tho.

the one you, the reader, uses
- Now this turned meta-referencial really quick.
- Ironically, I'm reading this from PostmarketOS, which has support for the echo dot 2, feature phones and some smartwatches, so it might be realistic to run on a vacum lol.

Installing on my fridge. Which one is the coolest?
- Kali Linux. All the kids talk about it. All the kids want to be with it.
- Hannah Montana Linux.
- TempleOS
  Be careful to not store any water in there
  
  It'll turn to ice cause it's so cool?
  Or to Wine?
- Linux From Scratch.
  Which honestly might be necessary to actually get a fridge running a free operating system, anyway.

I'd say Manjaro but they'd probably DDOS your vacuum on accident.

... My vacuum actually does run Linux.
!It's a roborock with Valetudo installed so it doesn't need internet access!<
- There are dozens of us! Mine is a Dreame D9 with a custom GLaDOS voice pack that I can change by updating a CVS file.
  
  And suddenly I need a vacuum robot!
  
  Also got GLaDOS on my Z10 Pro!
  Love Valetudo - it integrates so well with HA and is entirely local.

- Womp womp

Actual: ChromeOS or Android
Snobby: Ubuntu with Unity
- Android is far the best Linux, especially with security and usability
  
  Stock android doesn't even have a phone app. I'd say GrapheneOS is the best android. And good OK Debian is the best Linux (I don't have the bandwidth for arch btw)

Manjaro, easy choice.
- Is it actually sucky? I think I installed that once, but I didn't use that laptop much.
  
  Yes
  https://github.com/arindas/manjarno
  
  Guys we forgot to automatically update the let's encrypt certificate of our repos. In the mean time, just set the date on your machine to last week.

Windows running WSL running a VM running Debian 2.2.
- @frezik @NONEdc with WSL2 not much interesting, it's just a VM with some custom drivers

RHEL because the best Linux is the one you pay for.
- There's people who pay for Linux!? 😭
  
  mostly enterprise people

Manjaro might be good, but you'll have to adjust the vacuum's clock every time you want to clean

Joe Linux
- Linux who?
  
  Joe Mama Linux

Void
Get it? Because a vaccuum is a vo--

Our roborock robot vacuum runs Ubuntu (I'm not joking)

"I use Arch btw"

Just use Windows, it has WSL

TiVo

Red Star anybody?
- for the unknowing: north Korean proprietary Linux version

Does windows for linux count?
If not, maybe azure linux
Maybe ubuntu since its recommended by microsoft

I want to install Linux on a Vacuum cleaner, which sucks the most?
Nix-OS. Nix translates to "nichts" in german, which translates to "nothing" in english. A vacuum creates sucktion force.
Also I get endless error messages sometimes, when I run nixos rebuild switch --upgrade, that sucks in a metaphorical sense, I need to modify the versions of programs I install.
- NixOS does suck me into the occasional rabbit hole - nothing like Gentoo years ago though!

There was a Windows tablet I bought for PDFs only. It ran some terrible Windows 8 lite version. That would easily be the worst Linux distro.
- Windows RT. What a pile.

Ironically it's probably Suckless.
- Is suckless a distro? I thought it was just a collection of software
  
  What is a distro but a collection of software?

That Justin Bieber Linux?
\ (The opposite of Hannah Montana Linux ofc)

wubuntu

Finally a chance for me to install Arch on something!

@NONEdc i think, vacuum cleaner's stock firmware usually sucks the most

The worst i have used was fedora lxqt. A really disappointing experience. Not entirely unusable, but a big downgrade, even compared to things like Antix. It is incredibly slow, looks ugly, has like 1000 packages at most, that doesn't contain more than the most basic and well known software. When i try to install anything else than dnf as package manager, it will not work, or just break. For someone who wants Linux for experimenting, it is highly advised against
- Isn't that just a spin of fedora with a different DE? Should work exactly like any other fedora system, besides the de of course.

Not Linux, but VMS is specifically designed to run on VAX systems.

The one that's put out when Elon buys the Linux Foundation.

I have some RedHat CDs from the late 1990s (probably collectible at this point). I remember having a great deal of difficulty mounting my particular cd rom to even install it. I never got a driver for my video card at the time to work, so the "graphics" were awful (640x480 text only, iirc).
Anyway, few experiences will be more frustrating than trying to use them. I think it should be mandatory for aspiring computer people to play with them, so they can appreciate how far we have come.

Linux from Scratch

macOS
Alternatively: WSL
- MacOS is Unix though, not Linux.
  (it's the only non-mainframe OS that's officially Unix certified)
  
  The various BSDs aren't UNIX certified?

Linux
- underrated

twitter's servers firmware

Noobuntu /s

Debian.
I mean, just look at the logo!

You need Windows ME for that.
- Vista also sucks pretty hard.

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Anything with systemd :)
- After spending a bit of time today debugging a systemd issue I can start to sympathise with this. Not come across or really looked for viable alternatives that aren't just a return to random bash init scripts though.