Good afternoon I'm here to make a parches of a slic.

- Why did someone photoshop in that black guy behind the guy with the signs?
  
  That’s God checking in on his creations. His face says it all.
  
  DEI?
  
  Great Value Morgan Freeman
  
  At first I thought it was the dead giveaway guy, but it just appears to be some random black guy with cotton candy.
- Is that his clone in profile on the left?

I wud lick a slic of pooprini pleac

Standard English has enough spelling/pronunciation mismatch weirdness, so more power to them for spelling the words in a way that conveys the sound so you still get the meaning, though my brain is processing it with an accent which is throwing me off
- The real question is which accent?
  My brain is going to generic middle east and I don't know why
  
  I'm hearing my colleague from China (Beijing dialect)
- yeah it's good for the locals but god forbid a second language speaker or even a person from a state/county over tries to read that

“Saturday only” what? For the offer? The change in hours? No lottery on Saturday? Is the store only open on Saturday? Typos are fine, but at least segment your information to make it intelligible. (Note to self, post nonsense signs in windows)

When the lines that you see, make your eyes go funny That's a morre
https://petapixel.com/assets/uploads/2017/03/color_pattern.png

So I know you're just wearing a hat but when I first saw your reflection it looked like a duck and now I can't unsee it.
- Well I took this photo from elsewhere so I am not wearing a hat.
  
  Duck imposter.
- women may result in fetal injury, premature birth, and low birth weight
  
  What?

now dats a slic deel

Maybe it's spelled wrong for legal reasons. Can't get sued for not providing if they never said what they were providing in the first place.

I get that this may be someone who isn’t a native English speaker, but the fact that it may be someone who grew up with our sometimes-extremely-shitty education system makes me very sad.

Bet it's just Saturdays when there is a full moon

Since this is obviously a gas station, it is quite likely the person who made this sign speaks english as a second language.
Even if its their first language, working at a gas station often implies they don't have the education or work history to work elsewhere.
Can we stop punching down?
After 30 years of the international internet I am pretty fuck sick of making fun of people who don't speak English well. (Especially when native English speakers would fare way worse if the situations were reversed)
It would be like going on RedNote and getting dogpiled for speaking Mandarin badly.
- I would fully expect to get made fun of if I said something funny by accident in a different language. I've had that happen when I tried speaking Thai in thailand and spanish in south america and you know what? It is funny! They explain why its funny and everyone has a good laugh and I learned something! Thats how I found out the double meaning of caliente! Languages are hard and sometimes the mistakes happen to be hilarious, its not punching down. I probably sound ridiculous to a native speaker but at least I know that and I'm making an effort.
  
  It might be funny to you personally, but other people might be more self-conscious. When I first moved to Japan, I was extremely self-conscious about speaking Japanese because I knew I was making tons of errors and had the vocabulary of a college educated 5-year-old.
  
  This isn't saying something funny by accident though.
  When you're on holiday and you ask the barman for nipple juice sure, you can all have a good laugh about languages.
  This person is an employee, doing their best to perform a complex task that you were lucky enough to learn as a child. Imagine walking into the shop and having a good old laugh with the signs author about their bad spelling. I don't think they would find it very funny.
  Additionally, there's a profound difference between having a light-hearted joke with someone, and posting it on social media where everyone can make lame jokes about people struggling to get by using English as a second language.
  Honestly, I'm amazed that you're insensitive enough not to understand that the two situations are completely different.