memes @lemmy.world

3w ago

Pick 3

215 comments

Easy: Attractive Female, Attractive Male and implants.
- “What kind of implants?”
  “Yes.”
  
  Vibrating hand.

This is so imbalanced and vague.
People used to go full on Rainman designing these CYOAs.
- HeroMaker3

What exactly are divine powers? Are you basically the blue dude from Watchmen?
- 1 level 2 and 2 level 1 Cleric spells
  
  I can't even Remove Disease?! Fuck that shit!
- Yeah, that one could easily include all the others and more
- The religion is Greganism. Greg believes in Ferraris and Skittles.
  
  Ever drink Bailey's from a show?
- The religion is Shinto and you gain the powers of a kappa
- divine is religion based. like spawning 6 arms and dividing oceans. powering things up by blessing and being able to seal or banish evil.
  dr. manhatten is physics based. he could maybe do similar things, but his powers are not magical. he can't force a spirit to stay in a piece of armor or things like that.
  
  A very interesting explanation. Totally enjoy the physics aspect! Maybe that can ne the radiation power??

teleport, size manipulation, super smell. i am constantly teleporting into the rectums of famous actresses and experiencing ego death as their farts wash over me and erase all other sensations. i don't even remember my name or how long I've been doing this for. all i know is my mission. i am the fartshifter

Attractive male, insanely rich, intellect.
Y’all have fun being superheroes. I’m gonna enjoy the fuck out of life.
- Why would you pick intellect if you wanted a good time? Isn't ignorance bliss?
  
  Yes but that haven't received the intelligence power yet so they don't know that
- There's no rules that says having powers mean you have to be a superhero
  
  You could also be a supervillain... >:)

I feel 'Magic' is able to cover a lot of these....
Anyway
Immortality, Insanely Rich, Magic.
I will then become a supervillainous evil wizard. Sorry-not-sorry.
- Immortal, invulnerable, teleport. I'm sure the super rich I can acquire in a lifetime or two in 1 hour deliveries. Cargo ship from U.S. to Australia in an hour, got you. Rich people need organ transplants? Poof.
  Military needs someone to take someone out? Poof. A few contracts and now your stacking bank accounts.
  
  Need more rules, does magic cover teleportation?
  
  Immortal, invulnerable, teleport
  Accidentally teleport into deep space. Fuck
  
  its just self teleportation so you'll have to do it by the arm load
- Enjoy being 16 trillion years old and bored out of your mind, if you're even still sane lol
  
  Methinks eventually going completely nuts is part and parcel of the supervillain lifestyle
  I know what I signed up for.
  Now all I need is a hero type who will antagonise me and mess with my plans... But never kill me or take my wealth to reduce my power. And also we'll have a rivalry that borders on the homoerotic sexual tension.

Immortal, invulnerable, teleport. I can be where I want to be, when I want to be, until the end of time.
- I recently realized how much I say my password in my head while typing it. For me, I'd swap invulnerable with telepathy and steal all the passwords!
- But you age.
  
  Even if "immortality" is the sucky kind, invulnerability kind of implies that you're immune to the aging process.

Attractive female, attractive male, invisibility
I'm the most beautiful creature on earth, and only I decide who gets the privilege of knowing it
- Wouldn't "chameleon" be enough for that? Or "shape shifter"?
  
  That depends on what chameleon means exactly. Does it let you change color, is it more like a predator cloak, or is it like being an octopus, or is it more like being able to blend in through body language and pheromones and become kind of hidden, or being a social chameleon who can fit into any circumstances. It's kind of a vague word without any more description.
  
  That would mean you could turn into an attractive form but you wouldn't be inherently attractive in your own.

With Invisibility and Phasing you don't need to pick Super Rich.

If you do "Attract Female", "Attract Male" and "Vampirism" you'll be able to pull the entire gender spectrum!
- It's attractive, not attract. I am reading that as being attractive
  
  OOOOH! I was fully seeing it as being attractive to that gender. You're definitely right tho. It's being that gender and being attractive.
- Just like Laszlo Cravensworth!

I'll take Divine Powers. I think the rest will then sort out by itself.
- I'm trying to work out what that is. The ability to, uh, do everything on that list? If so, I will also take 3 scoops please.
  
  You know, standard stuff like food transmutation, turning into a swan to get laid and having fire come out your mouth when you get mad.

All choices depend on the degree of the power. How much can you lift with telekinesis and how dexterous is? Is magic cantrips, level 9 spells, or something even more arcane? To what level are the speed and strength "super"? Are you a "Captain America" super human or Superman?
Thankfully, my constant favorites are pretty definite: invulnerability and immortality.
What even is "psychic" and how is meaningfully different from "telekinesis" and "telepathy"? Is it bundling all the other -kineses? Yeah, I'm giving it too much thought but personally I don't like discussions based entirely on everyone not having enough information.
- Yeah it would be interesting to know the limits. Mine would be SuperSight+Teleport, with the understanding that I'm able to perceive time very slowly at will and maybe see very far if I want to. Also, sneezing wouldn't trigger a teleport.
  I don't want any Saiki-K situations where I'm unable to be attracted to people because I can only see through their skin by default
- That was my take as well. I already have a degree of elasticity, agility, and healing. Guess I'm tapped out and cannot redeem this coupon for god-mode.

Anyone who is planning shenanigans and doesn't take phasing or teleportation is asking for it. Sooner or later some government entity or another is going to try to put you in some kind of prison and you'd better have an escape card. Especially if you also take immortality. If you're immortal and some asshole Cask of Amontillados you, you're going to be pissed off about it forever.
And is "divine powers" just a free combo deal of magic, invisibility, and immortality?
- If you take immortality, you also probably need to take healing. Being mortally wounded and unable to die sounds, uh, bad.
  
  See. I thought "immortal" was "non-ageing" and impervious to cancer and Alzheimer's, etc. I took Healing because I felt it closed the injury loophole.
  Of course teleport because life may not be too short but I'm still going to mars and I don't have to learn the katana. #thereCanBeOnlyOne

I choose to become a nuclear submarine: radiation + sub-mariner + super hearing

I will be Useless Man!
Radiation, super smell, syphon ability (there are no super heros so no abilities to syphon.)
- From this chart, being attractive, smart, or rich are abilities, even gadgets is listed. Logically it doesn't make sense, but following the rules laid out, those are probably up for grabs.
  Also, who knows what they mean by magic, maybe you can go look up David Blaine.
- He can siphon a tank of gas quicker than anybody else. He makes a living stealing gas from parking lots.

Steal his look: Divine Powers, Healing, Immortality.

Immortal, healing, shape shifter
the rest I can get with time and cunning
- I went with immortal, shape shift, and teleport.
  There’s no range to the teleport listed, and I’m just going to assume that shape shift can alter biological function and not just the meaty outer covering.. but ultimately it doesn’t really matter that much because immortal.
  This would be a great way to explore the universe and a search for life. Maybe settle down somewhere if you find an advanced society that sucks less than humans.
  
  Honestly, I'd prefer healing over immortal.
  Sure, you don't live forever but at least your health will always be excellent. No permanent insuries, no cancer, no chronic pain, no dementia etc.

Not a meme.

Attractive Female Attractive Male Third one doesn't matter
- Add Shape shifting and you're Ranma.
- Submariner it is!
  
  Sir, an unidentified vessel is hailing us! It wants us to... spread?
- Stamina.

Fire Control, Radiation, Weather Control
burning radioactive acid rain for everyone
- You’d be wasting your opportunity for powers, at this rate that’s coming up this year anyway

Magic, weather control (magic), invulnerability (magic also)

What is psionic if not psychic? And how are telekinesis and telepathy separate from both?
- Telekinesis is moving objects with your mind while Telepathy is reading minds.
  Psychic I would guess is a lot closer to telling the future than anything else.
  Psionics is literally just a category that includes all 3 of those though so I have no idea.
  
  Psionic might have some extra sensory perception as well.

Hmm...
Agility, Radiation and "gadgets", or
Immortal, Flight and Invulnerability?
Nah, Attractive female, Insanely rich and Super Smell of course!

Teleportation, invulnerability, siphon abilities.
And then I teleport to everyone in the thread.
Unless someone has teleportation, intellect, and siphon abilities. Then they might outwit me and find someone invulnerable before I do. But I might find someone intellectual before they do. And then it becomes a race.
Comic adaptation when?
【 That time I got 3 superpowers from a Lemmy post, but so did everyone else? Yuusha no Skill Siphon 】
- Yeah, the power gamer one is siphon abilities plus whatever two give the best advantage with that. Though psychic might be enough to negate any other, plus would help figure out where to get the others.
  Though it's hard to meta game with just ability names. Like it could be god tier where teleportation works like you said and can be used on its own to find things or people, or it could be the kind where using it at all is risky because you might end up inside a wall.
  Psychic could mean you can freely look into the future, past, and present (like knowing your opponent's poker hand). It could mean you get a warning if you need to deal with danger. Either of those could make invulnerability unnecessary (along with very rich, intellect, physical fighting, and others). Or it could just be con artistry like psychics that sell their "abilities" in the world we live in.
  Siphon abilities might be permanent, temporary, or might require contact with the ability owner to use the ability. Maybe you get a copy of the ability or the original owner loses their ability. Maybe it applies only to powers on the list or maybe to any skill/ability.
  Magic and divine power are especially vague, could be anything from the most powerful on the list (maybe even including everything else on the list already) to what real life magicians and priests can do.
- good luck bitch im in madame web's anus

wtf is this list, these are absolutely not equal powers. Magic alone accounts for 80% of this list. Magic, Divine Power, Attractive Lady is just the meta choice. Who the hell is gonna take something lame like Stamina or Invisibility when you could use magic powers to make yourself invisible and fly.
- Lmao I didn't see divine powers, I guess you can just pick that and stop there, once you're a literal god give yourself anything on the list, easy-peasy.
  
  I'm taking it to mean something more akin to a cleric's Domain from D&D, as opposed to you turning into divinity. So you can pray to your god, and as long as it's within your god's domain, it will be granted.
  That is still fucking busted, especially if combined with magic, but to your point, godhood makes the whole list moot.

Size manipulation is all i need...
- They make pills for that

Chameleon, Invisibility, Shape Shifter.
Guys, I don't know what I am and I'm scared
- You can be whatever you want.
- You could be an old walnut tree in Istanbul! No one would be aware of you, but neither would the police.
- You're a cuttlefish!

Size manipulation, stamina and blast power.
- F-for for fighting crime, r-right?
- I really like that this set works for both men and women.

Bah, thanks to my years as a shut-in tech dweeb I already have lots of Gadgets, a Feral appearance, and I Super Smell.

Divine Powers
Immortality
Phasing
Bitches think they can bury me in a cave behind a boulder? I don't fucking think so.
That said, I do need more detail on "power syphoning." Seems like a no-brainer if you get to keep them.

Shapeshifting: kinky (having sex as a boy or a girl, becoming any celebrity your partner likes), recreationnal (flying like a crow, swimming as an octopus) and useful if you want to do crimes
Telepathy: perfect understanding of the others, or mess with their brain if they deserve it Also, this is the perfect combo with shapeshifting to impersonate people (if someone is suspicious, you have the perfect answers to their questions)
Healing, because I know the feeling of being powerless when a loved one suffers

Just need Magic and you can do all of the other things

Doesn't divine powers mean you can get anything on that list?
Its weird that not a lot of people decided to choose it.
- I think it's closer to Level 2 Priest compared to Yahweh.
  But then how many abilities will end up crummy for balancing purposes? It's like "pick a sword, bow, or gun to defend yourself", but you don't have the strength for a European longbow and your pirate-era flintlock has enough spread to hit the neighbor's dog.
  What if teleportation is 2 inches, or flight is 3 feet? What if invisibility means light goes straight through your corneas and you end up blind? What if immortal just means only your brain will survive??
  Nevermind

Attractive male, insanely rich, teleport.
I will no longer be single, I can vote in the US (only the rich get to vote with SuperPACs), I have a low carbon footprint

Magic can accomplish all of this, so I choose that

I feel like immortality is always a monkey's paw.
\ Can we replace it with like... Negligible Senescence?
Assuming it's not a monkey's paw (since invulnerability is also there) then:
\ Immortality, teleportation (to escape capture), intellect.
Also wtf is Devine Power?
- Immortality is fine, until you end up stuck somewhere forever.
  It's inevitable, it might be 10 years from now you'll get stuck under a mudslide and buried forever, but conscious.
  In a billion years, you'll get stuck inside the expanding sun forever.
  In a few trillion years you'll get stuck floating in the void of space forever as the universe expanded into nothingness.
  Immortality needs some sort of way out, or else you'll eventually end up suffering forever (what's a trillion years to someone who will live for eternity?)
  
  Immortality+invulnarability has to break physics somehow. Use that loophole to extract energy and build an entire civilization around yourself.
  Be the immortal sun god of the endtimes.
  Will probably be fun for a few trillion years.
  
  Teleportation is also one of the options, so that solves the getting stuck somewhere problem. My concern is what immortality is like without also getting invulnerability...
  
  Immortality is fine, until you end up stuck somewhere forever.
  This is the literally why I called it a monkey's paw, and suggested negligible Senescence instead.
  \ It's also why I selected teleportation.
  It's like you didn't read any of my comment except the word "immortality" 😑

Why doesn't "Divine Powers" include everything else? 🤷
- "Divine Powers" means you can make anything Fabulous! with just a glance.
  
  Hell yeah

Immortal, invulnerable, teleportation
Now I can do whatever I want without having to worry about consequences.
I picked teleportation because I'd hate for example if somehow someone launched me into a sun or black hole and there was nothing I could do forever.
Being immortal an invulnerable I assume I'd be able to get rich very easily.
I also assume the following:
immortal mean that you don't die of old age or sickness
invulnerable still ages (counter with immortal)
divine is not godlike but jesuslike. Can perform miracles or even come back to life but has limited power. Not immortal, not invulnerable
- You'll have a nice, long life followed by countless aeons witnessing the slow heat death of the universe
  
  When the time comes, I'll teleport inside a black hole where I will be frozen in time , thus rendering me essentially dead

Attractive female, insanely rich, and teleport. I'll have a gf, have money to finance my 1000 hobbies and help others, and never have to stand an hour in a crowded bus trying to hold in a fart again.
- I think Insanely Rich means that you're actually an insane guy called Rich
- I think Attractive female means you become an attractive female, so the genie got you.
  
  Oh no, you got me, genie! hahaha, definitely didn't want this, you got me so good 😉
  
  I mean, I am female, and being an attractive one would make my chances of attracting another attractive female higher...
  So either way it's a win.
  
  I thought that's what they meant at first.

Insanely rich, Intellect, Invulnerable. You could totally change the world - you would be like Elon Musk with a brain. When the shitty oligarchs throw you out a window, you just bounce.
- I think insanely rich is probably the worst thing on the list. How are you immortal and the smartest person alive and still broke? You should find ways to make a fortune easily oorr if you really want to change something you can use your power to actually improve the system in the long-term and not just profit yourself.

Shape Shifter, Teleport, Insanely rich.
Be anyone/anything I want to be
Go wherever I want instantly
and if i need anything else, just buy it with money
- Do you need money if you can just teleport into a bank vault, grab some gold, and teleport out? :p

Feral. Radioactive. Submariner.
Sealab 2021.

Attractive Male, Immortal, Divine Powers.

Attractive female, immortal, divine powers.
But, not any major religion. Just start making flowers bloom in the name of some minor goddess that has good rules. Go around healing people and giving out free food.
See what that does to the world when basically every main religion is "wrong"
The Wiccans I know are generally good folk, what chaos when healing crystals actually start working?
Attempt to not go mad with power.

Insanely rich: cheat codes for a comfortable life.
Shapeshifter: renders attractiveness options irrelevant and has enormous utility.
Psionics or magic, depending on strength and utility. For pscionics it really depends on how broad a range we're talking about. If it's just one thing or two things, nah. Being able to fling things around with my mind and pyro/cryo/electrokinesis are all tangently attached to telekinesis is great. But so is being able to throw fireballs in reanimate the dead. So really it would depend on the rules and mechanics for the magic/psionic systems. I think pscionics if it's more like The Force or something strong from GURPS or RIFTS, magic if it's something strong from RIFTS or D&D. If both are awesome then I'd pick whatever has the most utility probably. Especially since magic can duplicate psionic abilities using certain magic systems. But if it's lame magic or requires something like Faustian pacts or answering to any kind of more powerful entity, screw that. But depending on the mechanics, psionics and magic are just different kinds of magic systems.
Tldr, being a stupidly rich shape-shifting reality bender sounds like the life.
- You could use many of the other options to become insanely rich relatively quickly 😅
  But yeah I guess skipping the part where you rob a bank or something does have some appeal 😅

Am I misunderstanding siphon powers? Add invisibility and super speed... Aita?
- I think if you siphon a rich man, you get his wealth. If you siphon a poor man, he'll thank you and ask how much it is to go all the way

Well, immortality and invulnerability are a definite to deal with some existential dread.
Then I suppose insanely rich because you're going to need a lot of money to make investments on a forever time scale.
- I feel like teleportation gets you an ability that makes money just fine. Hell, just invulnerability makes you valuable for cleaning up nuclear accidents like Chernobyl and Fukushima.
- I can give you some immortality-related existential dread if you want
  Wikipedia's Timeline of the Far Future didn't make me comfortable with my own mortality so much as it made me even more afraid of immortality
  
  If invulnerability means not being subjected to all the forces eventually pulling apart and decaying all matter, I'm still on board. I'll roll the dice that things eventually find a way to come back around, whatever that means.

Intellect, immortal, shape shifter.
Shape shifter makes the attractive male/female redundant.
Intellect will get you gadgets/implants/power suit. After a bit of work which you have infinite time to do.
- I wonder if shaft shifting would fuck with your sense of self too much. Who actually are you if you can be anyone?
  
  I guess that you would spend most of your time in a "default" look. Other times you would play a role to meet a specific end.
  
  Is this a trick question? You're you. No amount of bodily alteration will change that. Shapeshifting will, however, allow you to have the most you-like body imaginable.
  
  Does it matter at that point? You're all powerful

I already have autism, PTSD and depression. I don't know if I can handle more.

Submariner necromancy size manipulation. Hoards of tiny zombie whales and giant zombie plankton.

Just give me being attractive and fuck the rest.

Psionics (a la Legion/David Haller), Divine Powers (more Legion reality-warping fun), Immorality (until the Heat Death of the Universe). I've got a lot I want to do, starting with planetary reform and cultivation of the species.

Give me arbitrary code execution and privilege escalation in the simulation we live in and I'll be satisfied.
- I'd like that too, but I don't know how to program so it'd turn out to be a pretty cruel joke. I'd need that plus access to interdimensional internet so I could download scripts and be a scriptkiddy of reality.

If I'm a plural system do we get to pick 3 for each of us? :)
If it's one set for everyone, I'm going with Shapeshifting, Healing, and the third kind of depends on how this stuff works.
Shapeshifting I'd take even if I was only allowed one power. I'd finally have a body that fits. Several of them, in fact. Some might even be human. We could swap between us physically, and turning into stuff for a while just sounds fun.
Healing because if I don't pick it I'm eventually going to regret it. Shapeshifting might already let me fix any damage that isn't incapacitating or instantly lethal, but that only applies to my own body. I'd want to be able to help others, too.
For the third power... Magic could mean a lot of things, including many on this list. Maybe it's a "jack of all trades, master of none" kind of deal, which I'd be fine with. A bunch of spells that cover a wide range of situations but aren't as strong as specializing in a single power.
Teleport is really appealing. Lots I can do with it if I can take people or things with me, or set up something long-range that doesn't require line of sight. If it also allows me to create permanent portals then we're really going to have fun.
Or I could take Invulnerability to remove that "incapacitating or instantly lethal" weakness and really lean into being some kind of unstoppable healer. Divine Powers? Depending on what that does, it could replace Healing while also giving a bunch of other benefits. Hell, if it lets me resurrect people too, and I also take Invulnerability, then I'm basically an emergency respawn point for the entire community.

Invulnerability, Invisibility, Psychic

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