LETS GOO, DANISH EMBARGO!!!

Nothing Ever Happens meets Trump 2.0. Honestly this is beautiful stuff, Trump blowing up the Atlantic alliance because of the Mercator Projection. Gerardus Mercator, welcome to the Resistance.
- Greenland—it's huge, okay? Just look at the map, absolutely massive! This Mercator guy, genius, truly amazing, did a fantastic job, believe me.

tariffs on just denmark would be quite literally impossible; he'd have to tariff the entire EU
remember that meeting with merkel where he kept insisting he wants "a trade deal with JUST germany," and she had to explain like 14 times that he can only do one with the EU, because it's a single market? i love how little he's learned about geopolitics from being president lmfao

Can someone explain why the fuck we need Greenland? I mean I know it's all red meat for our incompetent media to chew while they ignore the everything else, but has there been any justification or does that wet fart just think that Greenland must be green and that's good news for golfers?
- Large and basically untapped mining opportunities once the ice melts, but I'm pretty sure Trump doesn't know what a Mercator projection is and wants to make claims of expanding America
- One part is the potential rare earth and other good reasorces like oil, especially now that China banned the export of rare earth metals
  keep in mind it wont matter since the issue with rare earth metals is not that they are only found on China, (the US has a good REM mine in california that could supply all their needs) but that since China sells them cheaper there is not way for a capitalist to make a profit
  here is a post that talks about this
  the other part is basic American jingoism except now targeting the weak and easy to push US satellites intead of its Geopolitical rivals
  
  Rare Earths just arnt a thing.
  The main hurdle to manufacturing them isnt the deposits, its the infrastructure to process and purify them. Theyre always in a big mix and separating them out is intensive. America has an issue with this because it lacks the manufacturing to create the manufacturing to process them, doing so would also create another class of actual manufacturers which the ruling class doesnt want to deal with. They would rather invest in buzzword AI slop and enslave non-Americans to do the actual labor of creating our society. But they run into the contradiction that they cant do that to China anymore.
- Three words
  Strategic Elf Reserves
- Arctic claims

I have no idea how to evaluate this, how serious are these people about this shit? Surely the empire just stealing land directly from the people who ostensibly benefit from its rule would provoke backlash?
- Greenland i think is semi serious, they have grab the mines mentality, local ambivalent population, danes enjoys humiliation via partner infidelity
  don't think it will amount to war though, they'll just have to do referendums (with a cool 50k to any person living there, that's like 3 billion?). euros will take it, as the vassals they are. Just trump is so incompetent, he'll probably get distracted
  
  Just trump is so incompetent, he'll probably get distracted
  Squirrel!
  Trump is in the Oval and he bellows "Steve, get in here!" Steve is his top Secret Service guy who is in the antechamber room and he comes in running. He's finally, painfully learned to keep his gun holstered because Trump treats running out of Diet Coke like he's having a heart attack. "There's a squirrel."
  "...in the oval?"
  "No. Outside. Look!"
  Steve looks outside and - indeed - there's a black squirrel fairly close to the window. "I see it."
  "Take care of it."
  "Um... I'm not sure I follow."
  "Take care of it. Kill it. I don't like squirrels. They're always trying to steal my nuts." Trump is deadpan. This is not a joke.
  Steve tries something very risky for somebody as low and unimportant in Trump world. He tries to manage Trump. "Mr. President - I understand your concern. But I can't go outside and kill it."
  "Why?"
  "Tourists and other people will see."
  Trump sounds not angry but sad: "I want all the squirrels gone by tomorrow. They're sneaky and I hate them. Black ones are the worst."
  "Yes, sir." And Trump suddenly is staring vacantly. Steve stands there about ten seconds and then he just leaves the room without saying anything.
  Trump is alone and his expression is unchanged. "I hate them," he says.

Get ready for freedom pastries.
- You know it's funny but the only Danish food I can think of are pastries; I've no idea what Danish lunch or dinner would look like.
  
  Looks shit if I'm being honest https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danish_cuisine
  
  Isn’t the most pretentious restaurant in the world in copenhagen
  
  In my experience it’s not that different from Swedish food, to the casual tourist.

ETERNAL ECONOMIC CRISIS ON THE EUROPEAN UNION

So, like, isn't this the sort of thing the Eurozone exists to respond to? Like, you don't fuck with individual members, you trade with all of us or none of us?
- lol the euros were already in decline and got totally kneecapped by Uncle Sam’s Ukrainian adventure, they’ve been cucked by the USA for the foreseeable future.
  
  They will definitely begin to eat their own, especially with the re-nazification of europe in recent years
- What, do you expect Trump to know the slightest thing about geopolitics, ya nerd? Just because he was president for 4 years or something? This is why I hate the liberal, Hollywood, academic elite.

Dude is really annexation brained this week.
- I think he’s jealous of Israel and is like no we’re gonna take even more stuff
  
  "Israel gets land in Syria? That's unfair. It's unfair. I'll tell you what, we want big. Great even. Greenland is big, very big. Tremendous in size. Many are saying it. And people ask me, "Trump, why don't you make Greenland American? It's tremendous" so I tell them, "Oh I will. I will. And I will make Denmark pay for it." "
  
  Somebody tell him he can just annex Israel and get all their new conquests too.
- What’s really promising is him rekindling the old Mexico-USA rivalry. Trying to take over Mexico? In 2025?
  Who said Trump doesn’t deliver?

Living to see the collapse of earth's ecosystem sucks but at least I'll see the collapse of NATO first
- I'll see the collapse of NATO first

Amerikkkans losing lego and ozempic?
He would lose the next popular vote smh
- Wait what's the deal with ozempic?
  
  Novo Nordisk is Danish

I... Think I'm going to put Danish-American or NATO-American war on my 2025 bingo card...
- Don't you dare get my hopes up

Looking forward to the Antarctica Wars when the treaty expires. Free real estate baby
- of all games to be a fuckin prediction, it just had to be Battlefield 2042

Denmark basically gave their whole army to Ukraine, so what are they going to do about it?

god he's so fucking funny
- It's nice to have comedy back in the white house

There's no fucking way

Quick, stock up on Danish (the food), fill your entire freezer. The price is going to skyrocket after the embargo. Invest in a domestic Danish (the food) company if you can

He's going to be more of a cuck to hia bribers than his first term. Holy shit. Like Trump has nothing to lose. Why is he even entertaining these neocon idiots? His base must be getting whiplash and he's not even sworn in.

This can't be fucking real is it?

Denmarky Mark and the Funky Bunch

https://xkcd.com/2489/
It seems like a weird fixation, but consider this is the map in your typical US classroom
- I wonder if he thinks it's an actual "green land", with connotations of rich farmland.
  
  I mean, it probably won't be long until it's temperate

I love this actually it's so fucking funny

Hamlet is rolling in his grave

He's such a nutjob.

this is just chess
- In a game of chess, the best strategy is to make sure the opponent cannot see any of your pieces.
  
  poke their eyes out with toothpick

Whoever's turn it is on the lathe, please do me a solid:
In retaliation for an unlawful takeover of Greenland, Denmark allows ASML to sell EUV lithography machines to China 🙏
- Sadly, ASML is Dutch, not Danish
  
  Ah well nevertheless.
  In retaliation for an unlawful takeover of ~~Greenland~~ the Hague, ~~Denmark~~ the Netherlands allows ASML to sell EUV lithography machines to China 🙏
  much more challenging to lathe

I'm so hoping for the inter-west -imperialist wars, to finally put an end to the farse that the US tries to present itself as, please Señor Trump: remove the mask!