I'm finally presenting as a woman at work and trying to befriend coworkers... but at what cost?
I'm finally presenting as a woman at work and trying to befriend coworkers... but at what cost?
I've been out to my friends for years but I had fears/brainworms about presenting that way at work. As a result, I kept everyone at arms length and was generally pretty cold and closed off to everyone, which made me a shitty communist. But I finally managed to overcome that and find a new job (just some temp warehouse work) with my preferred name and presentation, which I just started today!
So I come in with a batch of new hires, ready to turn over a new leaf and start socializing, and wouldn't you know it, there's a guy awkwardly hovering around me! Perfect! I know awkward hovering because I'm an awkward hoverer myself, clearly, he wants to be friends but is too shy - so I introduce myself, and we get assigned to similar areas and sit together on breaks. "Making friends is so much easier as a woman!" I thought, a fool.
This guy starts simping hard. Starts asking if I have a boyfriend, takes a big interest in all my hobbies, stuff like that, but the big kicker was he'd been talking about how much he'd prefer being on a different shift so I suggested he ask someone about it but then he's like, "But then I wouldn't get to see you." BRO. 
Also, he's 19, and I'm in my 30's. Ew 
I'm not sure if he's aware I'm trans or not, I usually assume people can tell but idk and it's not on some people's radar. Not sure which is worse.
Overall, I'm still happy about being able to present the way I want at work and I've been unemployed for a while so I'm glad to be making money and the job's not too hard. But as far as workplace socializing, I kinda feel like I just traded one problem for another 
Once I started presenting femm around my partners family, I started noticing his father stealing creepy glances at me and I was at once creeped out but also felt weirdly affirmed. Its hard to navigate it exactly and even if you know to expect it, you never know how situations like this will present.
Not calling it a good thing(been in similar positions, it absolutely sucks), but if it makes you feel any better, he sounds like a kid being a kid. Probably at one of our first real jobs, it's warehouse so probably expected a heavily male workforce, then here's this woman, our heart skips a beat, we go stupid.
Give him a bit of the "I'm not interested", a couple weeks to nurse the bruise on our overinflated-by-youth ego, and he'll probably forget he had a crush in the first place.
Outside of that, I hope everything goes well! I know depending on where you are, warehouse can be monotonous. Find what you can to keep your sanity.
Yeah, that's how I read it too. It's new territory for me but he seems harmless. Not overly bothered by it but, you know, would like him to stop trying to hump my leg.
If I was shitlib, I would say "Welcome to womanhood!" or some crap like that but honestly, encountering creepy/overbearing men definitely hits harder when you’re not used to it. Hope you can shut this whole thing down quickly enough.
There's a saying I've heard in another masc-heavy field but probably applies to all of them: the odds are good but the goods are odd.
I've heard that said about Alaska.
Put him in the little brother/nephew zone?
19 is an adult. There's nothing
about it.He's 4 years short of the age/2 + 7 rule. He's fresh out of high school and can't buy liquor yet.
Yeah it's not illegal but it's way too much of an age gap for me.
True, but I think we can understand how she would feel that way, being in her 30s. I'm also in my 30s and would be most comfortable dating someone +- a few years my age, and wouldn't even consider a romantic relationship with someone under 21.
I'm also in my 30's and yeah.... even if you're super mature, have been in the workforce for years, have been financially independent for years and wowie wowzers we just have so much in common... anything below 21 would still make me feel like a creep even if it's legal.
Age gap relationships are fine, I'm in one right now, but there need to be hard personal limits set. Dating teenagers is an immediate no from me.
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I remember being 19, I was not an adult in the same way a 30 something year old is.
im not 30 yet but 19 is wayyy too young for me. first year of college? 23-24 is kinda my line of Real Adult tbh, undergrads have a very limited life experience/maturity level in comparison. not sure about this one.
I'm probably painting a target on my back by commenting but I find the tie to secondary education really weird; is the situation different (worse?) if they don't go to college?
This is not some kind of weird troll or whatever but a sincere ask, because not every life path involves going to College and getting that Real Life Experience, so I genuinely want to understand.
Was it productive to say this? I can't really imagine saying this in response to the OP who is mainly just expressing personal discomfort afaict. And in a work situation...
happy for you that you're presenting as your new self, and sorry that this happened so soon!