Not The Onion @lemmy.world Viking_Hippie @lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 days ago

New York May Create Hotline For Threatened CEOs

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if ceo assassinations were a tenth as common as school shootings, the usa would have the toughest gun control laws in the world.
- Hmm... wait a minute, are you suggesting that we [Redacted by lemmy.world admins]?
  
  If there's anything that the bourgeoisie has told us in the last month
  
  It's that [Redacted by lemmy.world admins] Is our absolute most effective path forward.
Totally calling that line (from a Google voice number obtained on a VM) to chat with the underpaid folks about the inanity of their job but how they should take that paycheck and also demand more because the lines are flooded.
- Just make sure you use burner number.
- you know that google can map the call to your IP and your provider (or VPN provider) the IP to your payment method, right?
  
  Not mullvad. Paid for my VPN with cash.
  
  You know that spoofing an IP is trivially easy, right?
Man i would love to read a transcription of that call hahaha!

"I walked into my private bathroom during the 15 minute "return to office pizza party and some animal had written DDD on the wall! I pay good money for this service, want a police escort for my coffee run!"

-Seeo the Clown

I hope being a CEO becomes the most dangerous job in the country making the job untenable until they all get replaced with wallstreetbets AI algo.

“No matter how angry we are, you cannot take a weapon, a ghost gun, put a silencer on and target someone and shoot them. That’s the bottom line,” said Adams

Actually big guy? Turns out you can
Someone should hack it so it just redirects to Kitboga's scammer-trapping labyrinth.

Or better yet, it detects which CEO is calling, and it just dumps the bastards into their own company's AI-hell phone tree.

I prefer my punishments to be ironic.
I'm sure no online community would constantly prank call that hotline 😎👍
- I mean, it's not hard to become a CEO. It's not expensive to register an LLC. And you can give yourself whatever stupid title you want.
  
  And, whose to say I, a newly minted CEO, don't feel in fear for my life due to my health insurance company? Make yourself a CEO, and any time they deny a claim, call in to report your health insurance company for threatening your life.
Ironically, if you really wanted to make healthcare CEOs safer, you'd set up a hotline for people who have been denied medical coverage.

Hope leads to peace, despair leads to bullets.
Can women who are threatened by abusive exes use this hotline? Or is it only for capitalist murderers?
- Strictly for those that don't need it. Just like most of what the likes of Hochum and Adams prioritize.
Hard to call when you have a bullet in the head.
I hope it's just a recording of Nelson Muntz saying "Ha ha!"
- That would be..
- sigh well that was a real nice secret CEO hotline we had once.
- My head went to the exact same place.
What prevents anybody from calling? Or any self employed from giving themselves the title of CEO? Are they going to reject CFOs and other Cs?

Why do I think this will end up being "hotline for rich bastards"?
Thoughts and prayers. 👼 Maybe they need more mindfulness seminars.
0118 999 881 999 119 725
- Tap for spoiler
  
  ....3
"We have to get over it."

Illustrious Donald Trump
There's a good chance that if this gets enough push back they'll just implement it quietly and call it something else. Nobody will even know.
Someone needs to leak that number.
the rich always get a fast pass
What we really need is a murder support group

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