Behold, my tiny pineapple that I grew

I hope it is glorious. I keep meaning to grow one myself, but I’m lazy…
- Lazy is good for them. We're talking benign neglect. Over attention to plants, especially if they're potted, is often worse.
  The thing about growing pineapple is the time until it fruits. If it's in a pot and indoors it can tata few years.
  
  They really are pretty easy to take care of. But they do take forever to flower, unless you induce it somehow.

Nice job! I started a top earlier this year and have managed not to kill it (this is my 3rd try). Hoping for a pineapple in a couple years. How long did yours take?
- 7 years, but that's because I tried to let it flower on its own. I got tired of waiting and made it flower using a calcium carbide tablet. Two years in a row I've used calcium carbide and it's worked well for me.
  I'd wait til your plant is established and strong before trying to induce it to flower. Give it at least 2 years. Hope your third try is a charm!
  
  Thanks for the tips! I've read it typically takes 2-3 years - great to know about this calcium carbide.

Did you grow it indoors or outdoors?
- Mostly outdoors in a pot, then I brought it inside when it got cold.
  
  Nice, I always forget to do the latter, and have never gotten a fruit. It doesn't get terribly cold here either, just like a week or 2 a year where it freezes

Good one! I have one rooted, waiting on going outdoors next spring. Another one won't sprout roots or die. Guess I'll plant it anyway?

Well 6 of my 7 plants were lost in the hurricane, so you have grown an infinite, incalculable % more pineapple than I've managed. It does look delicious.
- Oh no. Sorry to hear! Mine keep dividing, so maybe the one you have will, too, and you'll be back to where you were soon 🤞