Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world Track_Shovel @slrpnk.net 2 wk. ago

The things you can buy on amazon

Like duct tape - my god, what is the world coming to

Confidently Incorrect @lemmy.world pseudo @jlai.lu 2 wk. ago

60 comments

Took me a minute. Chloroform, for any other dumbys
- Thanks. It would never have occurred to me.
- kinda wondered why chlorophyll and chloroform have the same root, it's not like there's chlorine in chlorophyll.
  
  turns out chloro- means yellowish green. TIL.
- Hello fellow teenagers
  
  🛹
Why do the comments feel a bit whooshy on this one?

That said, I bet you could find a kidnapper starter kit somewhere on the Internet. Fun fact, chloroform doesn't work the way you think it does--- it isn't instant and it doesn't last long enough to be of any use like this. Movies have lied to you. Keep this in mind if you have weekend plans with any CEOs near you!
- Also the vulcan nerve pinch doesn't work. It was invented by Nimoy because he didn't want to punch a guy.
  
  Shit, next you're gonna tell me Vulcans aren't real.
- Knocking someone out safely is also really difficult, but I see why movies like the trope
  
  There's a reason it's the highest paid job in medicine
- Ether can do what the movies say chloroform does, though.
- Sure didn't stop the media
You can also buy mustard. Like, hello! All someone has to do is boil that, and they have mustard gas!
- Heinz DOES sound German....
You can also buy wolf piss but everyone loses their mind when a girl with pink hair sells her farts :(
- Man, I might buy some coyote piss and spray my trash cans to make the raccoons fuck off.
  
  I don’t want to hurt them, but if that don’t work I’m going airsoft on those assholes. If that don’t work, paintballs.
  
  I’ve tried everything. I left them some food about 200 yards from my home and they’d eat that and still come and tear my trash cans apart.
  
  Even if I got the cans with locked lids, it’s an apartment so I’d walk out to find the neighbor’s trash everywhere and they just walk past it like they didn’t see it. I left it once to see how long they’d ignore it. For four days my yard looked like a landfill. No one bothered to touch it,
  
  It’s easy to see it’s your trash too. I see my one neighbor carrying 12 packs of sprite in every day. Sprite cans litter the yard? Yep. She doesn’t even care.
  
  Told me once that she would have cleaned it but she didn’t have gloves. I asked her if she had soap and she huffed at me and went inside.
  
  I’d chop my nuts off to live in a house again.
  
  Had a skunk take up residence under my barn. I waited to see if she was gonna have some kits. She was huge! Sure enough I see her with her little ones. Waited for then to leave the nest before I put a radio with country going 24/7. Skunks are solitary generally and don't like a bunch of noise.
  
  Racoon's might need a little different motivation to get the hint. Might look into ultrasonic motion/sound machines.
The ratio of comments that get the joke vs comments that don't is troubling
- Explain the joke.
  
  The amazon reviewer is confusing chloroform (an inhalation anaesthetic that, in movies, is used to knock out people for kidnapping) and chlorophyll (a harmless substance used by plants for photosynthesis)
These are the same kind of people who freak out when you tell them everyone who has consumed dihydrogen monoxide will die.
- I have a laser engraving machine at work that houses a class 3 fiber laser. The amount of people that lose their shit when you open the door to add/remove parts or straight up walk 50ft around the thing is insane. All because of a little sticker that says "Caution- Laser Radiation". They seem to think it's a reactor core or something. No matter how many times I've explained the difference between ionizing and non-ionizing radiation, and showed them the data sheet and safety interlocks, I get the same one line argument "It says radiation. It's gonna give everyone here cancer."
  
  Does your work have baseboard heaters or radiators? Maybe it’s time to start putting those little stickers on everything that radiates energy
  
  It’s gonna give everyone here cancer.”
  
  Then they head off to the lake/beach for the weekend to work on their tan.
- Next thing you know, RFK Jr will ban it....
People complain about the fake reviews on Amazon (which are illegal now), but it's the dumb people that are the worst.
ITT: people complaining about (virtually non-existent) people who didn't get it
- I would never have made the connection if someone hadn't explained.
  
  I'm not that used to illiteracy.
- I like to create imaginary people that I can complain about though
  
  I build my houses out of straw too
Amazon: Screwing humanity over for profits from A-Z!
- Also giving us unintended chortles, thanks to our creative friends. And yeah, I do use AmZn to check prices and product availability, but avoid ever buying anything from there.
  
  I drunkenly bought four black balaclavas from Amazon a couple days ago. I was high on copium. Such a stupid decision.
Chlorophyll? More like Borophyll...
- NO I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU!
Wait till they sell rohypnotoad
And chloroform is freely available at your nearest chemist.
- Is it comically accurate to 1950's cartoons in how it incapacitates a person?
  
  Not even remotely.
  
  From my understanding it takes 5-10 mins of consistent inhalation. And the effects last only seconds.
Civilization began collapsing after dictionaries were banned worldwide
There are lots of compounds, that are used in chemical industry or medicine and have funny properties.
Chlorophyll doesn't immediately put you to sleep! Also it burns to inhale, from what I have read.
- Uhm...
  
  Indeed

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