Anon plays spin the bottle

It felt so weird when I got to college and started working and people were just treating me like a normal person. It took a long time for me to stop defaulting to trying to figure out what kind of trick they were playing on me. I still don't know wtf I did wrong as a child that made everyone decide I was to be ostracized.

I didn't have nearly the same awful relationship with rejection as you, but I had a similar experience as you did at your dance. I'm pretty introverted and rarely join social circles, for a bit of context.

When I went to college, we had a directory of everyone in the building with a picture and name (200 people, more or less). So naturally, we (roommates) picked out our favorites, yet few of us did anything about it. One roommate asked the girl out that he picked (she was my 2), and they ended up dating, and he convinced my to go to dance with him. I went, and he was late (probably making out or something), and my 1 waved me over from across the room, so I went over and talked. We ended up exchanging numbers, dating, and now she's my wife. Unfortunately, she had already applied to transfer to another school, so we dated long distance for a while before getting married, but it worked out. I still kick myself for waiting so long to ask her out, because we could have spent that time together instead of over video calls.

A bit of confidence can really go a long way, and screw all the kids who reject others in those formative years. When I see my kids do anything similar, I come down on them really hard, because I don't want my kids to be the reason other kids feel rejected.

It's not an entirely faulty line of thinking in that environment. Those bastard kids really did do that kind of thing all the time and they found it hilarious. When all your experiences up until that point made such an unexpected scenario seem unlikely, the chances of it being a cruel prank instead probably really are higher or even higher still someone recognising your plight and trying to be charitable whilst not quite realising that that hurts almost as much.

As you probably guessed I didn't enjoy school a whole lot either. I hope she was sincere though dude. God knows school fucks with your mind.

I agree. I haven't really been able to shake off feeling like an outsider due to a combination of a sheltered upbringing + social delays + social alienation.

It's almost impossible for my brain to think that other people care without some malicious motive.

yep, very similar experience here. Random early rejection totalled me

always assuming that no one could really like me and anyone who acted as if he or she did was just pitying me or playing some cruel prank on me that I was too socially inept to see.

Same, even went to tinder to try to get some validation, but still felt like they were just pitying me and always ended up ghosting my matches and never doing anything besides the initial small talk, it's a hole that's very hard to crawl out of.

Eh, they are a less inhibited form of adults, and a product of their upbringing.

They sense and exploit weakness for personal gain. Plenty of adults do that too. That's where they learn it from.

Kids are Reddit. If they sense weakness; the others will pile on.

One shining star will talk about the injustice of it all in the aftermath, and everyone will privately forgive themselves and conveniently forget until the next time it happens.

The solution is to be arrogant. Insist your position in their society and force your presence. If you show you have self worth, others will be forced to grudgingly acknowledge it

You got that reply because you surprised her and her immature 12 y/o brain spat that out as the best response on short notice. It's entirely likely that response had nothing to do with you in particular.

B-B-b-b-BAKA!

But you probably caught her off guard. I wouldn't expect 12 year olds to really know how to express their feelings like that.

Lol, that reaction probably haunts her, too. "Why was I so mean to that boy for no fucking reason 20 years ago?!"

It may have been that she was embarrassed because she liked you too.

Ouch. But also,

I once got angry and through a fit at a friend for buying me a surprise gift. I couldn't even tell you why, but I was very upset.

Try not to put too much stock in the bubbling brew that is childhood emotions.

If you post on 4chan you deserve to get bullied

Man. I used to sing a song to any kid who got a pimple when I was a teenager. “Big pimplin from WV and if you squeeze him too hard he pop all over the place!” With a little spin on the V to make it rhyme with place.

Had every kid in the neighborhood singing it to each other when they’d get pimples.

I hope the pimples left you alone man. If not I hope you came to terms with it.

was it true though

LoL.. That has the feel of getting sent to the principal's office for something that they kinda actually agree with (or at least find amusing) but have to deal with by policy.

You did the right thing.

Yeah, the classic ADHD rejection sensitivity.

Break the bottle and start stabbing

Shut yourself in and never meet people ever.

That sounds... ominous

You're probably a nice person and a decent hang. Really that's what most people are looking for imho

In this case like this I feel like anon just has shitty friends and needed to find a group he fits in better with. If you're awkward and weird, you've just got to find the awkward and weird kids to be friends with (anime club, theater, ect) there's even awkward and weird girls there!

Looks don't even matter that much in dating (unless you've got porn brainrot). So long as you're not deformed or super obese, someone will be attracted to you, and chances are you'll find them attractive too. Just don't be a creep and have interest outside of video games and modern dating is pretty easy.

Well some are lucky or simply befriend the bully. Whatever works...

since my 15th birthday

Isn't ot a bit too early?

You did she’s pregnant with 5 kids now and an opiate addiction

If it's happy and wholesome its sadly probably fake, if its dark and depressing, there's a good chance that is legit.

That's social media in general. Actually marketing is specifically designed to prey on people's insecurities.

Middle school kids he mighta done nothing wrong at all. Those kids at that age are terrors and will oust people from a friend group for the dumbest reasons imaginable.

Sucks because that person may have done everything right and years later still can't trust people or open up to them.

It's bros before hoes, until one of the bros thinks he has a chance.

Remove the romance element from it.

If the bottle spins, someone has to spend time in your company doing something you enjoy. You and your friends all agree. The bottle lands on you, and suddenly whatever it was you enjoy is not just "unenjoyable" but is actively repulsive to the other people. Ironically, I'd expect people to be repulsed by having to do half my hobbies, so this isn't a perfect reframing.

Apologies if I'm not being sensitive to your thought patterns. But there must be a way of reframing this that you can see why someone would be upset that their "friends" find them actively repulsive to even be around.

Would you be upset if you found out people considered you ugly?

Yeah, people can get upset about this kind of thing.

14 yr olds triply so.

do people really get upset about this?

Yes. I'll dive in, assuming that the greentext is real; the scenario is plausible enough.

Romantic rejection is painful, as it's based on an instinct to achieve a strong mutual bond with someone else. This may or may not be conflated with a drive to reproduce, depending on the level of sexual attraction involved. The sensation of loss here, can manifest in actual physical pain in one's head and/or viscera, and is proportional to the level of "drive". This also gets coupled with a sensation of loss as the reward for achieving that mutuality is a moment that is usually followed by intense pleasure (even without sex); suddenly realizing that reward isn't coming, hurts.

The second part, where the group continues without Anon, is similar but a different phenomenon. It's rejection from the entire social group. Our instincts to be social creatures causes us to feel this as a loss (painful), because we're safer and stronger in groups. Instinctively, the sensation will subside once Anon figures out how be confident with being alone, or (more likely) finds a more compatible social group.

Attempting to introspect the above sensations without support can also go to bad places. Anon mentions his self-esteem - they are blaming themself since that's a position of "control", but ignoring the reality that this was all impossible to predict or avoid. In reality, the other partygoers are a bunch of insensitive assholes and carry 100% of the blame here. This person really needs to be around people with more empathy.

Combined, Anon is in a world of physical and psychological pain. They were denied a potential romantic and/or sexual reward, and were rejected by the entire social group. Both forms of rejection provoke instinct and our reward centers in ways that just make a person miserable.

you are also a psychopath.

It is literally soul-crushing

Bruh I don't think I want anybody to play spin the bottle with you

I'm sorry that you don't get hugs from friends and family alike I hope you find a good surgeon to give you a face lift

Like If I link peer-reviewed articles on this stuff, you’d call me an incel & a misogynist

It might not be the articles' fault.

Anon didn't make up the rules, and I wouldn't wager that he was the one who decided to start that game. Everyone chose to play knowing they wouldn't be comfortable getting anon. It doesn't seem to me like anon made any advance at all. Rejecting someone's advances for whatever reason is not morally incorrect, nor is denying them physical displays of affection. But going up to someone unprompted and telling them you find them unattractive and wouldn't feel comfortable touching them is. This seem like an intermediate situation where they willingly and knowingly created a situation where they would have to do the latter. Refusing to kiss or touch anon wasn't the fault here, initiating the game was.

I don't think that we have enough information to draw that conclusion. It is a legit horrible experience though. I can't imagine what it would be like.