[Not the Onion] Democrats are now accusing Trump of stealing the election

Did that single voting machine cause Harris to lose all seven swing states?

i-cant embarrassing. They'll do anything but admit they were too right-wing

Doubly embarrassing because we know exactly what they would do if they legitimately should question an election’s results, because we saw it 24 years ago. Roll over
I'm okay with this one though. This one is funny and potentially productive.

The lib brain literally cannot cope with this having happened. Like, there is no lib solution to this problem. Stay tuned!

True hallmark of a failstate is when the ruling parties waste everyone's time and resources, investigating and litigating each other instead of improving people's lives

It's the AmeriKKKan way™️

LIB JANUARY 6

PUSSY HAT VIA GETTY LET'S GOOOOOOO
Trump dies during a lib Jan 6th and a civil war breaks out is on someone's parlay somewhere out there as a 1:1,000,000 payout and they put $10,000 on it.

tbh its hardly unthinkable that the republicans would do mass voter fraud, like i haven't seen any proper evidence that they did but its not unbelievable

Even if they did, the election was not remotely close. To suggest that such a relatively huge portion of the vote is fake (if you are thereby contesting the results) seems silly.
- believing it to manifest a liberal January 6th
- Even if they did, the election was not remotely close
  
  Funniest outcome tbh. reps doing mass voter fraud but it turns out it literally did not matter because of how hard the Dems ate shit
- Eh, if the libs want to genuinely try to do the right thing; I say let em. Even if its silly.
Oh there's a lot of fraud going on, it's just not the conspiratorial and crazy type. It's just having few voting places, long lines, doing it on a weekday with no provisions for people to leave work to vote, closing pools early, gerrymandering and so on. You know, the legal and boring kind.

Not even on the actual shit.

The Dems should demand everyone who took part in musks vote buying should have their ballots tossed out. And put musk in jail.

They won’t do that.

And put musk in jail.

Or just him. SCOTUS said it's totally cool.
- But it would be funnier if he makes a dramatic stand and attempts to flee arrest by flying into space.

Libs suddenly hate starlink lol.

The insufferable "wonk" libs already turned on it because they stopped supporting Ukraine.

access to connectivity was improved

Ridiculous that these machines are connected to the internet at all. Or that there are machines involved in this process in the first place. USA is such a funny little country.

edit, nevermind, it isn't the voting machines directly connected to the net: https://xcancel.com/jennycohn1/status/1855679445212029200 gonna leave my smarmy comment as is though. electronic voting machines just for the sake of it has been a shit decision since they were first introduced and it's very strange to me that the process hasn't reverted to purely paper ballots at some point since then.

it's very strange to me that the process hasn't reverted to purely paper ballots at some point since then.

It's not strange if you imagine a scenario in which they would want to manipulate something, but have so far chosen not to.

Start the steal!

Unironically this was a top comment on the election megapost the night trump won on r/neoliberal

BlueAnon is certain to be more dangerous and less entertaining Q-anon.

Some Q Anon guy smoked a mob boss in New York, so I'll reserve my judgment for now
- If a lib shooter kills elon im buying a pussy hat

Permanently Deleted

I'm pretty sure thats what they're doing, not because we constantly caught them like twice a day for the month leading up to the election, but because they're so god damn loud accusing everyone else of it.

I'd also believe they won fair or by the rigged-but-agreed rules, and kept cheating anyway. Kinda hoping that's what happened, and also the dems push it.
- Why would the dems push it? Dems are in the best position ever now, they can scream and cry and writhe in donations from the responses.
  
  By the way, are you still supporting the "other comrades" of the provisional government of Russia and saying that the crushing of the CIA color revolution of Hungary was a bad thing? Sorry to ask. You said not the time, wondering if "it's the time" now since I caught ya here.
they did it in 2004, but that was only in one state

Voting doesn't need machines.

Voting machines doesn't need internet connection.

Reject modern bazinga voting, retvrn to hand counted paper ballots.

I have lib friends who believe that stuff. It's hard to know what to say in response because like it's obviously not true but I guess it's how they're coping. Fortunately I'm not the only one in the group pushing back on it.

Kamala Harris is so not worth doing a conspiracy theory over.

Why didn't they rig the house and Senate races too? Who cares if its "to obvious" of they had 100% Republicans in congress, who's going to investigate them? Themselves?

The clear answer is that enough dems showed up to the polls to vote down ballot but not for kamala. They either left it blank or voted 3rd party.
- You're right, but the real answer is they didn't rig the senate races because the libs aren't emotionally invested in the senate races, so it's not as compelling as a story.
Yeah I’ve got a friend leaning into this shit, I think they were just so convinced Trump was going to lose they can’t process the results.

Mirroring behavior's become a lot more common lately, sometimes in a naked tit-for-tat fashion. I was ahead of the curve.

Regrettably, though, mere imitation will never succeed - As the dems fail by chasing right wing policy and discarded neocons, so too will the directionless adoption of belligerence for belligerence's sake. Shit, that's how I ended up here.

naked tit

They're just going to get extra smarmy about getting beat

Nothing more Lib than a Doomed Moral Victor™️

Yeah I have some family who believe this. They’re kind of young so I just chalk it up as copium.

sicko-mega

Vice President, a question: What is your message to progressive voters looking for change?

volcel-kamala

~~Italian satellites and bamboo~~

Musk satellites and... [to be determined]

---

Arizona Republicans hunt for bamboo-laced China ballots in 2020 "audit" effort | Arizona | The Guardian

Thu 6 May 2021

Why would they fly votes in from China? Is bamboo even used in making modern paper? Do they think the Chinese agents stuffing the ballots secrete bamboo or something?

I was looking for Tragedy and Farce in all the wrong places!

I could believe Elon tried this and just fucked it up so completely that Kamala got most of the affected votes.

Okay, so here’s what I don’t get:

Democrats say half the country is racist and misogynist. Republicans say Democrats are trying to force “woke DEI” on them

Democrats then proceed to run a black or Indian woman who lost her first primary and didn’t even have one this time on a platform of “If you don’t vote for me you’re a nazi”

How the fuck did they think they would win a national election? Why would you choose a candidate you know half of people won’t vote for?

First, I legit believe that Biden chose Harris as his VP as a pure accident. Biden had made a claim he was going to put a black woman on the Supreme Court, but when asked about his VP, he said something to the effect of "Yeah that too." Since there weren't exactly a lot of national level black women Democrats to choose from, he was basically stuck with Harris.

Then they were stuck with Harris running for President because of something about how campaign finance laws are worded. Or something about how advertising on TV and billboards work. Kamala's name was already registered on all the forms. I believe the deadline for even registering to run for president had passed them by as well.

I truly believe the Democrats didn't want to run her at all, but were stuck because Biden has a massive ego. By extension it's Obama's fault as well for manipulating the 2020 Democratic primaries to get Biden the nomination. Thanks Obama.
- Could have had the first indigenous VP, but nooooo
- Brace on trueanon mentioned something about Biden only agreeing to step down if Kamala couldn't bad mouth him. This would go with his ego and probably doomed her from the start.
Democrats then proceed to run a black or Indian woman who lost her first primary and didn’t even have one this time on a platform of “If you don’t vote for me you’re a nazi”

Nikki Haley 2028