What's the funniest or wildest epiphany you've had while drunk, high or otherwise intoxicated?

I wrote this down, this is verbatim:

I wonder if there are bad drivers in Star trek, like you're just cruising along in your Galaxy class starship minding your own business and all of a sudden there's like some fucking romulan right behind you with a bird of prey highbeaming you because you're only doing warp 7 in a warp 5 zone.

You keep hailing them on subspace frequency telling them to go around, go around and they will not go around you no matter what.

What does a Starfleet captain do? There's only one correct answer and it's the same answer that I wish we could do it here on Earth which is to fire photon torpedoes, disable their life systems, board them, kill the survivors and rifle through their pockets.

But they won't let you do that in starfleet for some reason