2y ago

Experience with heartbreak?

Yeah this is just a vent post lol.

I feel guilty writing all of this about myself. I know many comrades who have suffered on this site and i was completely inadequate in helping them. I dont need anything from anybody, i dont even think there is anything anybody could say to me that would help. I also want anybody reading to know that I am not in any danger, and as much as I can't fathom it in the now, I'm sure i will be okay one day.

Honest to God, people sharing their own experiences is all i could ask for. Just to feel less alone.

Well, habibi tovarische. What is your experience with heartbreak?

5 comments

Comrade, 7 years is not easy to simply overcome like it was nothing... A person 7 years by your side affects your own identity even, so it's expected to be quite traumatic to experience a break up. You must be feeling like you lost a part of yourself, which in a sense, you did indeed. What you're feeling is completely understandable and justified, you're not wrong in feeling like this. I am currently in a 4 year long relationship and I would be as miserable as you if we broke up for some reason.
To engage in meaningless hookups and to go to social gatherings pretending you are okay is just postponing the inevitable, and may in fact be harmful to you psychologically. If you have close friends you can count to, I'd recommend seeing them occasionally, but outside of a party context. You're definitely not in the spirit to party about anything.
You need to live your grief to its fullest. You need to cry, you need to stay alone for a while and spend enough time being miserable, because that's how you feel. You need to express and feel your emotions instead of faking them to others, and you should definitely consider therapy. I know therapists can be annoying and seem useless, but just having someone to talk to is already something good for you, even if they can't really help you or you feel "ok".
You won't feel satisfied in any other relationship until you learn to love yourself. The pain you're feeling is because for 7 years you've loved yourself as an extension of your girlfriend, and now that she's gone, you need to learn to love yourself apart from her.
- Great response
I'm sorry this is so hard. My experience was: recovery takes roughly 1/2 the length of the relationship
From what you wrote here, you have a lot of work to do before you're a good partner. You really need to be able to stand by yourself fully before you can stand with somebody. You have good qualities: take the time to find them and nurture them.
Probably the 2nd worst experience of my life tbh. It feels like your chest wants to sink into your stomach all the time. I don't think I would've been able to go back to hooking up that fast after 7 years (not a personal judgement, just making an assessment of myself). It took my like 2 years to even want to look at a real person in a sexual way. As the days go on, you start to think of them less and less, but they never really do go away. Thinking about them just becomes a bit easier when they do pop into your mind.
If you can find therapy, take it. Otherwise, just take things a day at a time, and just my personal recommendation, but delete all dating apps and just be by yourself for a bit.
I don't have much to come into mind about the heartache but I'd like to address the beginning of your post, my dear comrade do not ever feel ashamed of talking about yourself in a place like this and in a situation like yours, friendship and love are the strong bonds that hold the revolutionary spirit together. You did not disliked the fact that other comrades talked about their issues and their heartaches, why would yours be any different, know that we are one team every one for each other, and we stand together in both the personal as well as on the collective, that's what it means to UNITE!