unutilized instruction

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At least a fire can happen anywhere.
I also know not to struggle in quicksand and I'd be way more confused if that appeared in my daily routine.
- quicksand is far less of an issue than i was lead to believe in my youth
  
  Every other film had that horrendous scene of people drowning in unexpectedly appearing quicksand.
  Although most victims blunder blindly into quicksand, it sometimes seems that the merest touch of an extremity is enough to pull the unwary into its muddy and all-consuming depths like iron filings to a magnet.
  Source
- Quicksand trick also applies to falling in a grain silo, according to that one YouTube short I watched.
No one in Hollywood or on YouTube recalls this. Everytime i see someone on fire I shout "STOP DROP AND ROLL" at the TV, but they just stand there and flail like morons.
- Maybe the wording...
  CEASE
  PLUMMET
  ROTATE
  would definitely get my attention.
  
  CEASE
  dies
  well that's great, how the fuck am I supposed to do the other two now?
- Well, hard to remember things when you're on fire. Much easier to panic instead
You remember this until the day you die. You forget about it in the morning and burn to death in the afternoon.
- Standing there, engulfed in flames, thinking "Goddamn it, I know I know this, but what is it? Jump around? No, that cant be right. Sonofabitch, if I dont remember soon, Im gonna be in real trouble."
Has anyone ever used this advice in real life?
- I was on fire once and definitely forgot this in the moment, but my friend in the room remembered, shouted the instructions, and when I tried it, it worked quite well. got off with very minor burns and ruined pants
  
  I also ruined my pants when I accidentally caught myself on fire.
This guy is so funny he should do a show on Apple TV.
- i dont think this comics format lends itself to video. best not to attempt it.
  
  Too late
At the last panel, I picture the teacher's own teacher rolling over in their grave.
I just pretend to be he human torch, works every time.
- Flame on! I'm gone! I'm so sweet like a nice bonbon!

25 comments