My neighbor's exact thought process

Look, if you live somewhere that the sun makes you regret existence (read: everywhere in 10 years), yard work is getting done in the morning, car work is getting done in the evening.
- I have neither a yard nor a car, what do I do on a Saturday
  
  You don't have any yardwork or car problems to deal with, so whatever the hell you want, I presume.
  Except sleep without earplugs, I guess that's out.
  
  Drink
  
  ride your bicycle to go get coffee and donuts for you and your car friends
- Look, if you can afford a yard, then you can afford a landscaping service.

Meanwhile, my wife keeps asking if it would be rude to mow the lawn at 7AM on a Saturday. With the electric mower.
- and you said yes, of course I can only hope.
  
  Modern electric mowers are actually very quiet, they're not your parents electric mower that's for sure lol
  Mine is so quiet not only do I not need to worry about ear protection, you can't even hear it from inside my own house so def none of the neighbors will be able to hear it either lol

Our neighbors decided that it would be a very great idea to start split and saw 350 ft³ of wood at 6am on Saturday morning, until 11am.
Get out of town, into a rural area they said. It's much quieter they said. That and the street that runs in front of our house...
- Hahaha welcome to rural living for sure! Ive had a couple early camping mornings because I didn't know how close the loggers would be. It's nice to get started on chores earlier as you can, but I do try to be mindful of gas tools before 8.
  One of my neighbors must be invested in a couple different ammunition companies and trying to inflate their stock the way they shoot. All day Sunday sometimes.
  Trade offs for living in the woods.
- not only is it a drag strip, but it has fun moving obstacles.
- Literally on my drive home today. Dude was angry that I was actually going 25 mph outside the school, where busses were loading children and sped around me doing like 50 at the first opportunity.
  Then he literally stopped at the next red light, saw I was right behind him, and just ran the red light because his tiny, fragile ego could not handle the fact that he was a grown ass man acting like a petulant child. Which obviously means he needs to break the law more.
  I assume he had shit himself because I cannot imagine any other reason for a grown ass man to behave like this.

My neighbor used a leaf blower to dry his car after washing it at 7am on a Saturday. I don't know that I will ever be able to like that man after this.
- Oh my.
  A chamois is going to give a MUCH better finish, is silent and costs pocket change.
  
  I do the final rinse with distilled water. No towels ever touch my paint.

Lawns are one of the stupidest things Americans obsess about.
- There is no mention of lawns in the post. Is this maybe supposed to be a response in one of the comment threads?

My neighbors consistently party until about five in the morning with outdoor speakers on the weekends. I'm generally up for the day before they're done with last night, and I get to enjoy free concerts from their sound system.
You're God damned right I've zero qualms about firing up the lawn mower as soon as the sun breaks the eastern horizon.
- Have you tried being a good neighbor and letting them know their loud parties are causing you harm?
  Because otherwise you’re tacitly telling them it’s fine.
  
  Have you tried being a good neighbor and letting them know their loud parties are causing you harm?
  Just tried that last week and I will never directly contact people like that again.
  All it got me was an angry neighbor who now turns their shit up louder than it was before as they drive by my house.
  I guess I'll just resort to fucking with their vehicle in the future.
  You can't reason with some people.
  
  I went over once when they were shooting off commercial grade fireworks on a Wednesday night and feel lucky to have escaped alive. The young bulls got threatening with me until the older guy came out and spoke reason. It's just a product of where I live.
  
  https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/apr/29/five-people-killed-in-south-east-texas-shooting-cleveland
  
  Pro-tip: make an effort to interact with your neighbors before this situation so they know you as more than a stuffy Karen.
- We have neighbours a couple houses down that occasionally like to have people over in their loud echo-ey metal fence+patio back yard and chop their firepit wood every hour or so when they run out, sometimes well after midnight. I do not think they realise how far that sound carries through the night and dont have the foresight to chop during the afternoon beforehand.

To be fair, doing my work around the house after worktime at 7PM weekdays is also not going to be very popular.
- I'll take 8pm vacuuming over 8am vacuuming any day
- Having to raise tv-computer volume vs not being able to sleep. I know my choice

LEAFBLOWER INTENSIFIES
- downvotes? I'm guessing you may have offended some folks by badmouthing their favorite toy.

Kind of needs more context. 11 am is morning.
- There’s no time of day I should be able to hear your music in my own home with all doors and windows closed.
  Car or house work noise tho? I’m cool.
  
  I can hear people have a normal conversation on the street from inside my house. The walls are thin enough to let in and out all sound, but thick enough to keep in the heat in winter.

Depends on what time, for me
After about 10am is pretty fair game if a noisy job needs doing IMO. If it's music and not obnoxiously loud, that's probably fine too
Anyone making any noise before that though absolutely should get in the sea
- 10 am is way too late where I live. It'll be >90 by then, and that's a great way to get hear stroke. Most people in my neighborhood are out by 730 working.
  
  I guess if everyone on your street is doing the same then it's not a problem, but it's worth noting over half the general population will have a chronotype where noise that early will be a negative for their health.
  Making noise between 10am-10pm is apparently the best for everyone

6:30am "Vrrrrroooooooooooooomm!" for about a minute.
Silence for 45 seconds.
"Vrrrooooooooooooom!" for about a minute.
Repeat for the next 1 1/2 hours.
- I thought it was just one particular idiot that lived near me

Just my cope after an absurdly noisy morning :) happy weekend, everyone.

Reminds me of my father. He's up super early, like 4 am, and to him 7 am is perfectly late enough to run the wood planer on a weekend day.

I swear my upstairs neighbors have bowling balls where other people have feet.
- It's ARTISTRY!
  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4IRB0sxw-YU
  
  I’ve never seen a video THIS relatable.

White noise machine, y’all. Makes life so much better. Sleep whenever you want.

In my part of Virginia, they have established noise laws. Seem pretty fair
ordinance defines daytime as 7 AM–10 PM on weekdays and 9 AM–10 PM on weekends and holidays, and nighttime as any time outside of daytime.
The ordinance limits noise levels to 60 decibels during the day and 55 decibels at night in residential areas.
The law has a surprising amount of detail regarding things like vehicle noise, construction, etc.
https://library.municode.com/va/prince_william_county/codes/code_of_ordinances?nodeId=CH14NO_S14-8EX
- I'm not convinced I could mow a lawn under 60dB,
  
  Time to get good with a scythe
  
  Yeah most of those are in the 80db range.
  Maybe an electric or manual push mower could get below that.
  Weed Wacker are also pretty loud.
  
  You could do a manual push mower! I’ve been looking to get one, I hear they’re much better for your lawn health and certainly help with getting a workout of it.

Ahhhhhhhh country living is amazing. Not one neighbor.
- My parents live in the country. They have one neighbor. He's on meth so he likes to start chainsawing right around dark and continues until around 2am.
  
  Just get him more meth. He'll stop soon.
  
  Yea well no neighbors is the only way to go.

The people across the street were grinding tree stumps at 8am Sunday last week. I yelled out the window but it didn't work. They were done and gone by 10, which is when they should have started.
- SORRY WE CAN'T HEAR YOU BECAUSE OUR MACHINES ARE SO LOUD. FUN, EH!
  
  GZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT
  GZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ …
- 8AM seems perfectly responsible time to start to me. I don't know about your area but 10AM is when the heat starts around here.

What time is polite on the ‘weekend’?
- 10am and later, I think
  
  That is overly polite in my opinion. I'm happy to fire up the lawn mower after 9am.
- Here in the Texas summer it's about seven in the morning. Annoying, but everybody realizes that if you go out any later, you're gonna die of heat stroke.
- i used to work at a customer service call centre, we had a rule against making outbound calls before 9am
  
  That may just be because the FTC has rules for when you can call, and it may have 9 AM because of where you live.
  https://www.ftc.gov/business-guidance/resources/complying-telemarketing-sales-rule
  FWIW, the FTC says 8 AM is fine for calls, so presumably 8 AM is fine to start work on the weekends.
- noon.

riding lawnmower comes screaming out of the garage at its max speed of 5 mph, the driver dual wielding leaf blowers

10am is my personal cut off. I won't mow the lawn or do anything loud until after then. My kids on the other hand are the wildcard.
- I'll run my electric lawnmower earlier than I will a gas one.
  
  Mines electric but I'd still consider it loud enough to disturb people

Is your neighbour dual-wielding lawnmowers?
- Don't be ridiculous. He has a lawnmower in one hand and a chainsaw in the other.
  
  Ash Williams moves to the suburbs

My neighbor was practicing with a trumpet at 1 am last night.
- Drunk trumpeting is a special joy

Ohhh i'm legit printing this and sticking it on my neighbours car.
You don't need to leave a fuvking hemi running to 'warm up' 2m from a bedroom window on a weekend IN FUCKING MELBOURNE

Neighbor cuts their postage stamp lawn with a loud lawn mower for 30 minutes. When they finish the next neighbor thinks to themself, 'I should cut my lawn', and starts a loud mower. When they finish the next neighbor starts. ALL Saturday. One after the other! Can't you all just do it at the same time! Why can't you use a push mower on a lawn that is smaller than a car parking spot! Why does it take you 30minutes, of using loud power tools, to cut a lawn the size of a car parking spot!!!
- People need to start embracing electric mowers and trimmers. They're way quieter and easier to maintain. My Ego mower is still going strong after five years on the same battery.
  
  I think we need to normalize alternative landscaping. Think tall and thin sumac with lots of mulch on the ground. Once in a year dump lots of mulch and don't mow anything. If you don't like gardening, and don't spend time outside, just plant large bushes and mulch. I see so many people around that just don't care about their lawn, and do the easiest thing so it looks like everybody else's.

What'd he do?
- Leaf blowing for 2 straight hours when it's still mid summer and there are no leaves on the ground.
  
  It doesn't excuse it, but sometimes you just gotta take drastic measures to drown out the intrusive thoughts.... Or maybe covering up someone being tortured in the basement?
- He burned our crops, poisoned our water supply, and delivered a plague unto our houses

That means you're all going to be quiet and mindful of us third-shifters, right?
...Right?

Moving blankets are a wonderful solution. Hang them over your windows and enjoy the quiet. Get thick ones. Uhaul has good ones.

Are you one of those damn night people complaining about us morning people getting on with stuff in the limited time window we have?
- When I am doing stuff at night I try to be as quiet as possible. The morning people could follow this until 11 am.
  
  Depending on location, it's too freaking hot to be doing yard work anytime past 11 in the summer months. 9 - 11am is usually when I get my shit done.
  Then again, with my neighbors have a similar work schedule to me, so I guess I'm not bothering anyone.
  
  But we won’t because 11am is unreasonable. That’s a third of the day wasted.
  You’re not an owl. Go to bed earlier.

Look how lucky you are. Mine desides 23:00 is the perfect time to start drilling.
- Doing the lawn after dark seems so unwholesome. Which is annoying because I could use a 25° drop in temperature.
  
  What about flying a kite in the dark?
  And depending on the size of your lot, maybe you could use a reel mower. They're nearly silent!
  You could also use a scythe, but that sounds like a lot more work.

The guy above me who vacuums his room every Saturday at exactly 9am

Mindful and considerate, yes. But that doesn't mean I put my entire day on hold for people that don't get up until 10 or 11.
8am is pretty reasonable start to the day for me.
But I also believe that people bitching and saying no loud noises before 10am are being just as selfish as the people who get up and do yardwork at 6am. If someone has a problem or some extraordinary reasons for wanting it to stay quiet later, they can talk to each other and try to find a compromise.
And out of 7 days, if you are only being inconvenienced for a couple hours maybe that's something you should be more tolerant of.
- Hey 8 am Saturday leaf blower guy. Fuck you.
  
  Cool. No loud parties after 9pm then? Or is inconveniencing my sleep okay because you do it at night?
  I've got one day a week I can do yard work, and only until 9am until it hits over 90° out. Sorry, buddy. But you might have to deal with some noise. Wish we could all live in perfect harmony. But until then you have to deal with some shit you don't like and I have to deal with some shit I don't like and we'll do our best to not inconvenience each other too bad.
- Ahh fack off. It costs you nothing to wait until 10 to fire up noisemakers
  8am is pretty reasonable start to the day for me.
  Almost your entire neighborhood is populated with people who are not you. Why do you get preference?
- And out of 7 days, if you are only being >inconvenienced for a couple hours maybe that's >something you should be more tolerant of.
  Out of 7 days these are the only two days most people can sleep past 8 and some people like sleeping. It is no different than consistently throwing late night parties during weekdays when most people have to wake up early the next day. There is a generally acceptable universal range which is no loud noises between 10pm to 9am. If you are the person who needs to make noise (such as the occasional party or repairs that need to start early etc) then it's you who should go and tell/ask the neighbours about it, not the neighbours who should come and convince you to reduce noise.

Ive often contemplated replacing the muffler on my rider with one designed for a passenger car

ear plugs

My neighbor is showering at 6 am on a Saturday morning. Is he working on the day when I get to chill?
No he’s an out of touch asshole, not me.

I have a rule that if my noise is a problem for someone they will surely come, knock on the door, let me know and I will stop it immediately.
It hasn’t happened yet so I assume no one is inconvenienced.
Actually I extend this to all areas of life. I believe that if something I do is a problem for someone, they will tell me. It’s much more sane than second guessing if my guitar session gets through the walls or not and checking the thickness in the architecture plan and calculating decibels.
- So you're an asshole that also likes attention and confrontation
- You sound like a shit neighbor then. Just be considerate of others.
  
  It’s not my job to think constantly if my every minor single action can offend or inconvenience someone. Cmon that would be insane
  If someone has a problem with my pyjama outdoors then they can tell me and I probably will consider it for a while like a second and then idk get a notification and forget probably if I am being honest. But I tried to take it into consideration your valuable opinion on my outfit. I really did try. It’s called living in a society, we need to care
- Your rule is based on ignorance then. Be kinder
  
  I disagree. It’s the only sane way of thinking. You cannot be in the head of other people, cannot possibly know what they tolerate or not and then if they say they don’t like something you do you must decide if their intolerance is reasonable.
  It’s something I live by. And strongly believe is the only way to properly savour the fruits of reality.
  Take everything as it was yours too and if someone contests it then you can split the cake. This is the secret to having truly good time in this waking world.
  Most people are afraid to take things, to set boundaries, to be bold and they dwell and die in unhappiness having nothing. Don’t be like them. Fight for yourself.
- Or maybe they just don't want to take the risk? https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/apr/29/five-people-killed-in-south-east-texas-shooting-cleveland
  
  Haha I am so intimidating brr scary. In my country we haven’t reached such levels of madness yet and generally people are normal. The place in which you dread to interact with your fellow humans must be terrible indeed. But then I live in a slav hobbiton among religious peaceful hobbits. Racist and xenophobic hypocrites yes but never violent. Good people.
  They may slander you when they think you don’t hear them but you can go on the night streets without worry. I kinda love them.
- I go through my life trying to be quiet so as not to disturb others.
  
  This is a loser way, it puts you at a huge disadvantage. Go loud ablaze with guns smoking.