"Breeders For Vance" voters set up mobile fertilization clinics in abandoned malls.
"Breeders For Vance" voters set up mobile fertilization clinics in abandoned malls.
"It's a lot of fun!" said Dan Bongos, mastermind behind "Breeders For Vance", a start-up he's hoping will take him to the moon and also perhaps to the White House.
"I want Mr. Trump and Mr. Vance to see the hard work I've been doing. We've been getting these babes in here, in this old shutdown malls and just f*cking the s*it out of them". He's crass but he hopes his crassness will attract the attention of the republican party.
"Bring the whole family!" he continues "your wife will get plowed silly and you'll leave here with a new baby". Batting away the electrical cords hanging out of a gutted ceiling, mold grows along the floorboards.
"The loony left thinks this is all unethical, dangerous, and 'sex trafficking'" he says, "they would too, they hate families just like J.D. said, they're anti-baby".
[at the time of printing this story Mr. Bongos was arrested and charged on 150 counts of sex trafficking and endangering the lives of others].
I read this whole thing, thought goodness they really are weird, and then saw this was the fake news sub. I'm afraid this just isn't outlandish enough.
tfw you can't even parody how weird republicans are
makes it far funnier
Permanently Deleted
One day fakenews gonna collapse because it ran out of material that's more absurd than reality.
How long until the far right actually runs on a platform that consists of redistributing sex, in a populist demogogic fashion that's reminiscent of Huey Long? One, maybe two election cycles tops?
I'd always say to myself we'd get that in America before the powers that be would allow single payer care.