JUST EJECT FASTER

Just detach the blades. You can always re-attach them when you've landed.
- Works as a secret weapon too.
  Oh you think I've been disarmed? smirks AMATEUR violently ejects rotor blades in all directions
  
  I was just thinking the entire rotor assembly detaches and the helocopter falls away from it. But I think I like your idea better.
- That's what the Ka-50 does
- I love jigsaw puzzles.
- I doubt you'll need to if you already had to eject.

Hear me out:
Seats that drop out of the bottom of the helicopter
- That way, the pilots can get to the ground first and cushion the impact of the helo 👌
  
  Just do a barrel roll while ejecting so you shoot up. Try not to hit your wingman with your copilot tho
- F-104 did it first!
  
  Did it work? Like are the test subjects still alive lol that sounds like rear decapitation city
- Some Russian helicopters do this
  
  How many of those are intentional?

Attach the ejector seat TO the helicopter blades so that they both eject and you get a cool propeller and can fly around and it can shoot lasers and stuff too.
- Just eject the damaged parts. Viola
  
  Who brings a damaged viola to a warzone?
- playing with legos be like
- I'll get you next time, Gadget!

Eject the helicopter not the seat. Duh.
- Shoot the hostage!
- Too hard to accelerate the helicopter's larger mass to Mach 19. You might still damage the helicopter on the rotor blades.

Now this is the kinda content I subscribe to

So basing off another comment. Have the Ejection seat tied to the rotor and shaft (not in a way that the chair spins. Duh)
Then (as long as rotor hasn't disintegrated) you can eject the seat with the rotor, thus minimizing filet chances... Whilst also floating to the ground softly like those whirly paper helicopter things you played with as a kid
Boom. Parachute free ejection seat
- Hold up, let him cook
- Nah, just do it like they did in WW1; synchronize the ejection to the rotor blades so you fly through the gap, clean as a whistle.
  (Please don't ask about our experiments with the earlier WW1 method of "Fuck it, just shoot the propeller sometimes, it'll be fine". Turns out that doesn't work so great when you replace bullets with people.)
  
  Didn't they also put some sort of armoring on the propellers back then?

Fire the seat forward toward the enemy aircraft that forced them to eject to allow them to steal it.

Oh boy I love it when death is multiple choice!
Fiery explosion
Cuisinart of Doom
Squeezing your brain into hips
9mm of lead therapy
Other: __________

Sus. I watched AirWolf, and Magnum P.I. AND I've studied Leonardo di Vinci. Helicopters are next-gen tech and they don't crash.
- Ironically the helicopter casted as Airwolf did crash, killing all its occupants. 😞
  
  Yeah that sucks, I didn't mean to go there

I think i heard one time that helicopters can jettison the rotor so you dont get chopped up
- Unfortunately, that won't stop the blades from spinning, meaning the danger isn't averted.
  
  You shear the blades so they shoot outwards. I couldn't find an irl testing video, but here's a render.
  https://youtu.be/a1kr651en7g
  
  The Kamov does it.
  The individual rotor blades are separated from the center with an explosive charge and their centrifugal motion carries them laterally away from the vehicle as the seat rockets straight up.
- Pretty sure someone was lying to ya
  
  Several models of helicopters have ejectable blades, this article mentions a few, and has a diagram of the blade severing system.

Why not blow the blades off first with a charge in the Jesus pin? Or have the seats eject siddeways or downward? Or like, open the door and jump out hoping you don't hit he rotors?
- If you eject downward you may hit the ground before your chute has opened. Helicopters tend to stay pretty low.
- Can’t believe I had to scroll this far to find the real solution. Eject rotors, then eject pilots. I think fighter jets basically do the same: eject canopy, then seat.
- Because now you have blades shooting away from the helicopter at a high speed which could kill someone.

Who would win?
Two human skulls 💀💀
One twirly boi 🚁
- Put some ERA on them skulls and you’re good

I think it's the Apache helicopter that stops the rotors instantly on eject. No need for Mach 13. I know this graphic is a joke though, I just remembered this cool thing about the helicopter.
- It's the KA-50/52

I like all the serious answers as if this was a real option.
- Very credible

Why not extend the seat sideway and eject that way?
- I don't know of any ejection seats that go sideways, but early F-104 models had a downward track ejection seat. The main issue is that parachutes need some time to open and helicopters tend to fly pretty low. So in most situations you wouldn't be in a safe altitude to actually eject.
  Modern zero-zero seats can safely eject at any altitude, but they do so by using a rocket motor to fly upwards to a safe altitude for the parachute to open. So because of the rotors, helicopters generally don't have ejection seats. The exception is the Kamov KA-50 series. It has explosive bolts blowing off the rotors before ejection.
  
  Presumably less "blowing off" and more "letting go." They're already being spun with as much centripetal force as they'll tolerate. The explosive only needs enough oomph to make itself disappear.
  Which had to be a weird pitch. Like, 'for safety reasons, we're going to stitch this together with detcord.'

straight to heaven

High chance the rotor has dramatically slowed if the eject is necessary
- You are not thinking of crashes. The rotor won't have any time to slow down if the helicopter is about to crash into a building or the ground for reason unrelated to engine (or similar components) failure
  
  What we really need is a seat that ejects you directly into the ground
  
  You may be right, i may be crazy

How about this
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synchronization_gear#:~:text=A%20synchronization%20gear%20(also%20known,without%20bullets%20striking%20the%20blades.

Why not eject the rotor, Yu-Gi-Oh style

Why not just eject sideways?
- Heck if accelerating to Mach 19 in about 2 meters is acceptable you could just disable the rotors and only experience an acceleration of less than Mach 1 in just a few meters.
  
  What about that fancy thing that stops table saws when you touch them? Just get one of those and stop the rotors. I'm certain there's no physical reason this wouldn't work.
- Or blow up the rotor at the hub first.
- It fails "the cool" factor so we rejected it.
- When helicopters lose power they just fall. If the rotor head isn't decapitated then when you get ejected sideways there's s no zero chance you'll be julienned on the way down.
  It's why the most (only version currently in operation) common method of helicopter ejection severs the head or blades while it's still rotating so it/they spin off and hopefully away and then the seat rockets away.
  
  Your first sentence is wrong. Stop explaining things you don't understand yourself.

Place the seats in sleds out the front, and attach them to reins on one of the missiles in the battery.
It can't be any more dangerous than being in a helicopter that's decided today's the day.
- Major Mindbleach made local headlines today as he drove a Santa Claus-esque sleigh attached to an AARGM directly over the heads of local combatants. Spectators say that instead of dropping gifts like his holiday counterpart, Mindbleach was dropping dook as he shit his pants repeatedly moving at speeds of Mach 2+ attached to a ballistic missile. The final status of Mindbleach is unknown. More information as the story develops.
  
  Boeing adamantly insisted this not count toward any statistics on the reported dangers of their aircraft, as the system was working as intended at the time of the pilot's exit. All questions about subsequent events should be directed to the manufacturer of the missile.

Simple, just put the rotors on the bottom, problem solved!