What fresh hell is this?

You recently calculated 34*5+1. Do you want to buy a new washing machine?
- You recently calculated
  I don’t know why but this part kills me

It's because of the log function
- Very punny.
  
  It's was all clearly calculated.
- Yes, and it's brown because of the tan function.
  
  Yes, and it's brown ~~because~~ cos of the tan function.
- But not the RAD or TAN function?

Something about this just doesn't add up.
- If only there was a way to get to the root of the problem.
  
  It will require our undivided attention.

"Continue to use of all the numbers you love!*
Starting August 1st, numbers 9, 7 3, 2 and 0 will only be available to members subscribed to our premium Calc+ tier.
- Spotify intensifies
- Yes, this is real: https://web.archive.org/web/20211006101621/https://www.reddit.com/r/assholedesign/comments/pa35xe/you_have_to_pay_to_unlock_the_button_on_this/
  
  There just needs to be a law that these pop ups have to contain a clear, recent, full color, high definition headshot of the CEO/President of the company that profits from this.

Please don't log my calculator inputs it's more embarrassing than my browser history is.

I can’t even imagine what data there is to collect for an application this simple.
That privacy policy better be really short.
On the bright side, a simple calculator ought to have plenty of free and open source alternatives that don’t harvest any data.
- Your calculator would like access to your contacts.
  Your calculator would like permission to send and receive phone calls.
  Your calculator would like permission to view and delete emails.
  Please click AGREE to proceed.
  
  How else are we supposed to be able to share calculations to your social network????
  
  There is also information that is provided that the phone no longer asks/announces.
- Well, everything else that's not calculations.
  This is why everyone is trying to have their app installed, there's a lot of information that the phone provides, and now you no longer get warned what data is available.
- That privacy policy better be really short.
  Clicking through to the policy from within the app just sends you to the general policy across Google. Very long.
  
  If we collect data and we do vaguely here’s what we might do which might include this other stuff that we might or might not do depending on what data is being collected.
- Same as for any app: crash reports, to fix issues.
  I was curious so I installed it (it's the Google calculator app), and it just links to the generic Google privacy policy. There is nothing specific to the Calculator.
- Whatever they can get their grubby hands on
- Every orher day I enter sets from my workout so my dumbass can remember when I have done 200 squats. My knees hurt.
- I believe it's about how often the app is used. Advertisers label people with "gullible" and stuff like this, so when you use a calculator regularly, that may be a hint that you are not.
  
  Or maybe that you are, if your dumb ass is entering basic-ass calculations. 😅

Using our implementation of Microsoft recall, we can see that you're calculating the price for your online purchase of Samsung AiPro Washing machine. We can see you can't afford it, but don't worry! We've applied a 10% coupon to your purchase so it'd be a bit cheaper for you!
Still not good enough? Try our Ai powered financing application!

My calc app also has its privacy policy there. It says
OpenCalc does not collect any user data.
- How dare they

"=" [locked] Infix subscription required
...
"base ten" [locked] subscription required, reverting to octal

They want to monetize any proofs you find.
Now get to work crunching numbers.

Seems like everyone is going out of their way to tell us how much they "value" our privacy. The value they place on it wouldnt even get a burp from an atm machine
- The way I see it, the companies value our privacy in the sense that they want to take it - to extract that value.
  We value your privacy. So if you don't value it, then give to away to someone who does. In fact, just lets us take it anyway regardless.
  
  Maybe so. I just prefer to keep mine close to home

GrapheneOS + network permission toggle Or just use a FOSS app from F-Droid
- Open calculator is pretty cool and very pretty.
  Material theme ofc
  
  Nice.
  
  Yep I already use that app, specifically chose it because of the Material 3 design
- Thanks for mentioning and linking Graphene - I was stoked to see the Pixel support. Installing today.
  
  Let me know how it goes! Also recently installed GOS, us newcomers gotta stick together.
  
  Happy to see someone jump on board the GrapheneOS train! Be warned though, the installation will wipe your device, so make sure to do backups.

- Have you forgotten. '/s' ?
  
  If done right, the sarcasm tag isn't needed.

It's possibly compliance. I know google requires you to have a privacy policy to even publish an app, no matter what.
- Huh. At least they dogfood, I'll give them that.
- True. But this Google's app so they don't need to do anything.

In fairness, I've had to write a privacy policy due to store restrictions. It boiled down to "everything stays on your phone. I don't collect your data, I don't want your data, I don't even have a backend server that could be collecting your data. If you find my app sending telemetry of any kind, please tell me immediately because that should not be happening"
That being said, this doesn't exactly inspire confidence
- And nothing at all inspires more people confidence so that's why they need the policies. It's not possible to satisfy this

80085

A car is parked at the far end of the street. Hidden by the shadow of an old elm, and a reflection of the blue sky on the windshield, an agent patiently writes out his notes:
8:15 am A leaves house on foot 8:17 am B arrives driving and parks car (license plate: GYX 455), walks away 8:40 am B arrives, enters house 9:20 am A arrives on foot, leaves in car
This is called a stakeout. A form of surveillance.
IT folks will also recognize this as analytics data. You can almost see the json: timestamp, event name, metadata
As analytics data gets tagged to individuals, it becomes targeted surveillance.
Regular analytics is like a surveillance camera: you just see each person in a snapshot, all in the same place. You’re seeing the story of the place. Like a 7-Eleven, tracking when its customers come to decide when to make the coffee.
But modern analytics is more and more all the events about a person or cluster of people. That’s a lot more like the FBI following Hemingway, keeping a log of all his activities to build a profile.
- IT folks will also recognize this as analytics data.
  (・_・;)

If you type in 867-5309, Jenny will call you back!
- That's because she is very old and lives in a retirement home. She has nothing else to do but prank call people.

I've published a simillar app to the play store (a calculator for keeping track of your stats in a game) and it got denied because it had no privacy policy, and I had to add one. Maybe that's why they need to include it?
- I would believe that but I'm pretty sure this is the default Google calculator. It looks like the same one that's on my Pixel. And when I click on the privacy policy thing it takes me to Google's privacy policy so who knows what the calculator is doing.
  
  Then perhaps it's because Google should follow their own rules? I mean, I still think it's dumb to have a privacy policy on a calculator, but if that's what they ask from other devs maybe they do this to look good?
  Otherwise, getting tracked by a calculator is really a low 😅

Why didn't every privacy concerned people switched to foss already?
- Realistically because it takes time and effort to integrate foss and self hosted solutions a lot people don’t have the energy or know how to do.
  
  You don't have to be purist, just aware. There's a lot of spectrum between using foss apps alternatives and self hosting next cloud.
- I know right, I've been using CalcYou and it's pretty good!
  
  I've been on Calculator++ for ages now. The UI looks a bit different, but it seems like they do all the same things.
  Tossing it out there as another option.

Gotta love that internet access is implicitly provided in Android now /s

Yes!
My Xiaomi Redmi 11 keeps telling me the Calculator can't use the network (why?) and keeps asking me to accept the privacy policy.
Also the app wallpaper - the one that changes the locked screen background image (important complex stuff /s) - also keeps asking me to accept the privacy policy.
And, as far as my reading of the policy goes, these privacy policies are just the one, it's not a different one for each app.
- Default Xiaomi ROM is shit

They are just promising not to share with the government or any private entity that you are the idiot who had to use a calculator to find half of 17, just in case you were worried about someone finding out.

They want your equations on the off chance you accidentally solve one of the Millenia Prize problems.
- It could happen if you hit just the right sequence of buttons on a pocket calculator!!
  
  The right sequence of buttons on any calculator is 5318008. That was determined shortly after the invention of the pocket calculator.

Hot <
<numbers>
> in <
<your area>
> want to calculate with you!

The calculator is collecting anonymous information about your calculations to calculate whether the operation operators are operating properly.
- Operate on deez nutz.

You can replace your calculator, as well as your clock, contacts, record, translate, and more pretty easily. It's well designed, and it's FOSS!
https://you-apps.net/
- You can also use this calculator app, as well as camera, recorder, gallery, dialer, text messages, and more. Also well designed and also FOSS
  https://github.com/FossifyOrg

material you colors are pretty ugly
Is this even material you it looks like it
- material you colors are pretty ugly
  You can actually change this in your settings. You will absolutely be able to find something of your taste. Usually your phone generates a few combinations for you to choose from based on your wallpaper. I do agree that this particular combination in this screenshot is ugly however.
  
  oh alr
- Subjective
- Stronk?

I thought it was the color scheme that was hell at first.
- It's some fresh hellish bug that Android has introduced, it'll adapt the theme based on your wallpaper. It's a bug because it always chooses that 70's brown color. And yes, before you ask, you're not able to disable it. You have to reset your theme everytime you change your wallpaper.
  
  I have the exact same color scheme, set up to match the color of the Triumph Street Triple that is my wallpaper.

It doesn't calculate anything, but sends it to an AI server and displays the number from the answer.

I pay 5,99 a year for glasswire and cut all apps internet access unless necessary, browsers and such.
- I'd pay 5.99 for Glasswire
  Then if they want me to pay every year for the same product I already bought they can shove their glass wire up their sphincter
  
  It is a service to be fair, saves me setting up something similar myself.
  I am generally against subscriptions also but it is so small that what I would pay in a one off is unlikely to ever be paid by me.

Allow CALCULATOR access your precise location, gallery, microphone, camera and contacts? YES or YES (If not allowed the app will not work properly)

Looks fake as fuck, My calculator app doesn't need any permission
- Mine does...
  
  Congratulations? If you use anything beyond stock apps it means you downloaded it, and accepted the privacy policy for it. Even with automatic updates, you logged in and accepted the policy as well. You don't want it? Erase the app. Freeze it, don't use it, whatever.
  What's worse is that you don't even show the permission menu, you just show a notification.
  Do what you want, but take at least responsibility for what you accept
- In normal Android, I don't think internet access counts as a permission, nor does basic data collection.
  
  Indeed
  Mine just shows this on the store
  Still
  The network access I guess it's for the currency conversion, but the rest is pretty standard stuff for haptic feedback and memory management.
  Nothing strange there at least for me

Someone worked to make that app, either you pay for it with money or you pay for it with privacy, your choice.
- Google foss
- This is Google's calculator app, so it's just the default calculator app on many phones.
- You're getting downvoted because many people's brains are so tiny they think if you explain something then you obviously love it
  
  How tiny does a brain need to be to make this comment on a platform that is free and open source?