12mo ago

Jesus knew his pronouns

54 comments

Nobody ever said Jedus never used pronouns how stupid
- So i take it his vehicle of choice is a donkey?
  
  Deuteronomy 13:12
  And He said, 'the warming of the Earth shall not come to pass, for The Lord hath given thee Monster Trucks to roam its flat surface.' And they believed him, for He was pandering, and they would believe anything to feel they owned the Libs
  
  Sorry, one sec, I just need to.. copy that.. no.. no, select all.. SELECT ALL.. SELECT-FUCK! okay.. okay got it.. copy that… paste that.. here…
  Save…
  fuck-these-dipshits/deutsftw.txt…
  Awesome. Cool, have a gooden!
  
  America was not in the Bible. Hot Dogs were not in the Bible. Fireworks were not in the Bible. The constitution was not in the Bible. The second amendment was not in the Bible.
  If these things are so good, yada yada..
  My mother also talked about how one of the disciples died by being crucified upside down. Not only is this not in the Bible, the particular piece of literature describing the event never actually said he died.
  I started enjoying the Bible in the same capacity someone enjoys Lord of the Rings or Dune. In doing so, I’ve 1) found it easier to read, and 2) found some certified gangster moments, like David holding up a piece of cloth to Saul and essentially going “coulda killed you in your sleep, biatch”
  I’m digressing. Point is, these people have never actually read the Bible. They pretend to have, but they haven’t. To be fair, it’s a piece of literature so dense it makes Shakespeare look like Flake chocolate, but fuck..
  
  And that's a 3 time candidate for Congress..
  
  Tbf that's a low bar these days
  
  Yeah, that's actually what I pointed it out to illustrate.
  They're running people dumber than the contestants of Fuckboy Island and with fewer scruples than the contestants of i dunno, Survivor? 🤷
  A great example is Elise Stefanik:
  5 years ago, basically nobody outside of her district had ever heard of her.
  Then she ignored reality more blatantly and more obnoxiously at the hearings preceding one of Trump's impeachments than anyone except maybe Gym Jordan and Mark Meadows and people started talking about how she's "a rising star of the Republican Party"
  Now she's the chair of the House Republican Conference and one of the favorites for the Mango Mussolini's VP pick 🤦
  
  Of course she is, she's a good little lapdog spewing the shit they want people to hear.
  
  That's Jesus... They clearly said "Jedus"
  
  k
  
  Apology accepted
  
  Smells like a case of Cunningham's Law.
  Cunningham's Law states "the best way to get the right answer on the internet is not to ask a question; it's to post the wrong answer."
  
  Technically he's not necessarily wrong unless we can find proof of someone saying such things about Jedus
- You severely underestimate the abject idiocy of conservatives.

54 comments