How are you all doing? - Weekly thread #10!
Welp, it's been ~10 weeks since this community's been revived. Glad to have revived it more.
Sorry if i don't reply to everyone. I read all your comments, though!
Feeling oddly down and defeated these last two days. And it seems to be reaching a peak right now. Getting irrational thoughts like feeling like I should just delete Lemmy and everything else and complete the process of giving up on life. Finding some train tracks to lie on somewhere or something. Everything is shit, my life has become a literal figurative dumpster fire with no way out and nothing much to live for, and even escaping into this online double life where I can at least speak and be my truth is feeling like a pointless waste of time right now.
Not expecting anyone to respond, or even read. Not sure why I'm even posting this, maybe letting it out will somehow make me feel better again. I'm just so tired that I feel like going to sleep and never waking up again.
Is Lemmy and this online double life you escape to the way you normally cope? Do you see someone in real life about those feelings?
I hope they leave you alone soon.
These days it's 100% how I cope because it's the only place where I can really be me and feel like I actually have friends or at the very least, community. My life in the real world is pretty fucked these days. Mostly due to (un)employment and (lack of) money aka independence and happiness.
I tried going through the public healthcare system to see someone and it was a complete waste of time and made me feel stupid and kinda humiliated for even trying. To explain that would require an essay. So I'd like to get some help but just like anything else that improves one's life, money money money.
Edit: thanks for the kind words.