Me too. Wish my wife would understand, when I'm being productive and ... crotchety, its basically never because she's done anything wrong, and forcing me to calm down is going to leave us all disappointed.
Psychiatrists in my area have long waiting lists, and most of them don't even have a website where I can look up if they know anything about ADHD. It takes a lot of willpower for me to get over my anxiety and call even one of them, and naturally it never leads anywhere. It seems like all my mental health problems are working against me making this appointment, and the psychiatrists aren't doing anything to help with the process.
It’s hard though. A key criteria (at least in the UK) how much it affects you day-to-day. My father probably has it and passed along a lot of guidance that I now recognise as coping mechanisms/symptom management strategies. Day to day I’ve got it in hand, it’s only when the big storms come that I struggle, and that doesn’t fit with the diagnostic approach.
It’s hard to not make them sound trivial, but you’ll see some of them in the memes that pass through here. Off the top of my head though:
the importance of routine/consistency. He got up at the same time almost every day for 50 years. He went to the gym before anything got in the way, that sort of thing.
he pushes conscious decision making, of following through on things and being definite. Do not let yourself be guided by what you want in the moment, be guided by what you plan and intend.
put things in the same place. Put things back where you got them from. Don’t rely on your memory, rely on your habits.
When I write these they seem silly and trivial, but they help me a lot.