Intentional self aware and self effacing humour from the couple
A tongue in cheek thing arranged by either the bride or groom
She did all the work in arranging it and he doesn't give a shit about marriage so a passive aggressive way of her celebrating an event that matters for he, but not for him
Why does it matter so much to women? Noone is being crowned nor is it a beauty pageant. Half of marriges end in divorce. It causes stress to guests and participants. Why not just go to a judge?
Different people like different things. Nothing wrong with celebrating one of the biggest days of one's life. I didn't want to be the center of attention, but if someone else does want to be that - on their wedding day - then that's cool too.
You've figured us out. Women™, the monolith. You alone have realized that we all have the same opinions, and we all require large weddings purely as a control method to discomfort everyone else present and place ourselves subconsciously in a position of power. Watch your back, Women™ are coming for you to keep our secret silent.
A tone indicator shouldn't be necessary. It should be pretty clear that different people just like different things. You might prefer a judge, but myself and my fiancée want a wedding. You claim it causes stress to the guests and participants, but all my friends and family, myself included, love attending weddings. They're fun parties to celebrate love. All women, like all people, are different. Men can like weddings too.
As a gay man, I watch from the outside. In my boomer experience, it is a horror show and power play.
Good for you if you enjoy it. Go for it! Don’t expect for everyone to see it that way. Cheers.
It totally can be. You should avoid ubiquitous blanket statements, you're bound to be wrong a fair percentage of the time. Judgement doesn't look good on anyone. There are plenty of issues with the institution of marriage, especially since it's been established with a hetero-centric point of view. I'm a gay woman, I'm fully aware of this, and we've made active choices to do things our way, not society's, as do many other gay and straight couples. There is always nuance.
Half of all marriages, which include people who have been married multiple times. For example, if you have 5 married couples, 4 are on their first marriage and the last couple is on their 6th marriage, then on average 50% of the marriages in this scenario failed. But it doesn't apply to everyone in the same way. Some people even remarry the same person.
Why does it matter so much? Marriage, to me, is a formal commitment to a sharing of lives. It also has some good tax benefits. For others it is a reflection of their faith and their values, their community, their commitment, their need for belonging or security, a union, the creation of a family, a sense of belonging or identity etc etc. You don't have to have the same values as people who get married, or people who don't get married, or whatever.
It may shock you to know that until relatively recently a woman's value and standing in society was intrinsically tied to the marriage she was in. They were wards of their fathers and their only method of a semblance of independence would be to marry and form a new household. The ceremony attached to marriage thus recognised that she had been elevated from being a dependent of her father to an independent woman. This is recent. In the past 150.years recent. It still happens extensively in patrilineal cultures. It is embedded and as memetic a theme as the crazy old lady, the overbearing mother in law, the clumsy passion of youth, the neglected housewife - the blushing, beautiful bride. These themes are deeply embedded into our society.
Why does it matter so much. Because...it does? Seeking to understand people's individual motivations is pointless because unless you share their exact point of reference there is little chance of you fully empathising. However, there will be rituals that matter a huge amount to you, which make absolutely no sense to anyone else.
Finally All marriages end one way or another. There is no benchmark of a successful marriage or relationship. Humans are fallible and change.