Have you ever devoted a significant amount of time to something only to later feel it was pointless?
Have you ever devoted a significant amount of time to something only to later feel it was pointless?
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Organized sports.
Loved sports and playing as a kid and was exceptionally gifted at basically all of them I ever tried. Ended up loving a few and before I had a chance to understand the vast difference in joy vs. occupation playing them through college.
Looking back, I didn't enjoy any of the school sports from jr. highschool onward. I still loved the games and playing and practicing on my own, the sport itself, but the organized "competitive" part of it was awful full of horrible adults and structures and painful situations that ate up an enormous amount of time.
I could have played recreationally for 2% of the time and still have enjoyed myself just as much and still loved the sport. The sports-industrial complex in the US brainwashed me into thinking their path was the only way to continue with my love of the sport.
This is me and music. I love playing, composing and performing. But do I want to be a musician? hell no. The industry is fucked up, abusive, ungrateful and miserable. Sure, for less than the 1% they get to be billionaire celebrities. But for the rest it is unlimited hard work and atrocious conditions without safety nets or benefits and meager pay (A cousin is a pro musician and I get to know all the ins and outs). I want to enjoy music, not work at music. I learned that on the organized swimming competition rings. Didn't get sucked into the machine, but got to see how miserable it can be to do something you love for work, competition or for a living. Chose a lovely career that I enjoy enough to happily do it well everyday, but that is not a surrogate for my whole life, passion and personality. Still get to enjoy music and swimming as recreation and hobbies.