3 Expert Shoemakers Say Ron DeSantis Is Probably Wearing Height Boosters
3 Expert Shoemakers Say Ron DeSantis Is Probably Wearing Height Boosters
The internet has questions about the governor’s boots. So I asked the experts.
Is this important journalism? No way. Is it funny as shit? I think so.
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I can’t believe people care about dumb shit like someone’s height in fields where it doesn’t actually matter. That 5’1" little brown woman in office with her finger on the big red button is always going to be much more of an actual objective threat than some 6’11" massive chungus of a dude with no real charisma to speak of and without any actual political power.
Hell, just give the little brown woman a gun and pit her against Big Chungus on the street and see who comes out on top.
People who analyze each other’s body condition and size and prioritize it in their judgement of everything other people do are such worthless fucking knuckledraggers.
I despise Ron DeSantis and even I can see this is an obviously petty cheap shot. Why not complain about him trying to drive Disney out of Florida? Or his fascist book censoring? Or his anti-trans garbage?
We care because he clearly cares so much.
To add. We've already done all the complaining. The whole world knows he's a piece of shit.
But he cares about being seen as tall and I want him to feel no joy in his life.
Because even though it shouldn't matter, it's subliminally important to Americans that our leaders be tall.