-The shark has every right to be there.
-I’m not going to let fear dominate my vacation.
-It’s just water bro!
-Statistically you’re more likely to get mugged by a Kansas City snail on the forth of July.
-My cousin got eaten, and he said it wasn’t even that bad.
-Why are you always bringing up sharks and never dolphins?
-I’ve looked into it, and basically a shark is a tuna with some additional details.
-The shark will just eat some people and then get full just as nature intended. Those people being eaten are just the natural way of dealing with sharks.
-I'm a strong swimmer so it won't eat me.
-I hear the shark swam all the way from a secret lab in China making super sharks. Somehow thinking it's been engineered to be more dangerous makes me also confident that it's harmless and no precautions need to be taken.
-If you inject hot sauce then your blood will be too spicy for the shark to eat.
-I'm still going to have my annual "throw chum in the water" swim party to show just how overblown this whole thing is.