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  • Some people deliberately come to social media for fighting. I probably used to. Maybe on occasion when I'm feeling cranky I will be less diplomatic than I really want to be.

    But I find two things actually help:

    1. I'm not friends/following anyone I know in real life. That helps with anonymity in case I do run afoul of someone who bears a grudge, but also when someone posts aggravating bullshit, it's not someone I care about. Which leads to...
    2. I'm merciless about blocking anyone and anything that I can't engage with fruitfully. Attention is a limited resource and I don't want to spend it all on negativity. I'm happy to hold genial conversations with folks I disagree with, but if interacting with them becomes tedious, stressful, or annoying I just bin them. Hell, if someone is a big enough prick to someone else I block them. If someone is in every thread harping on some agenda, gone.

    Bluesky has a feature to mute keywords for a set period. If I need a break from news about Gaza, Trump, some trending drama, sports (like the World Cup), or just want to avoid spoilers, I mute the topic for a while.

    Together, these tools make social media much less negative for me. It usually keeps me from doom scrolling or taking the rage bait.

    And when I’m emotionally charged or unclear, I sometimes draft my comments elsewhere before posting. I let it sit for a bit, and if I can’t say what I mean with the tone and clarity I want, I just don’t post. Maybe 30% of my comments get binned—some after spending an hour or more working on them.

    In short, I heavily curate my social interactions—both incoming and outgoing—to reduce stress and negativity. As a result, social media today is far more pleasant than it was ten years ago.

145 comments