Texas is the land where regulation is always second, or so they say. However, it’s also a state where politicians have chosen to regulate oddly specific...
Well, Texas Annie had a big fat fanny, and she drove a black sedan
She had Ben Wa Balls in her overalls and a trunk full of contraband
And when the fog was thick, she'd pack her dicks, and sneak across the county line
'Cause in Texas, any tool for masturbation is a crime
Hard-livin' and promiscuous, she kinda liked the risk
She was a liquor-drinkin' dildo-runnin' rascal
With an electronic phallus for each housewife up in Dallas
An' a probe for every asshole in El Paso
Cos you can't buy a dildo in Texas
We don't touch ourselves down there round here, ya' hear?
And it says so in the Bible that a vibe'll leave you liable
For a prison term of twenty-seven years