Texas Prevents People From Owning More Than 6 Dildos. Now Lawmakers Want to Ban Sex Toys at Walmart.

If they would prevent people and companies to own more than six houses or flazs, that would make way more sense.

Always love how republicans and conservatives are constantly so preoccupied with sex, sex, sex all the time and in ever more imaginative and obscure ways.

I now associate their religious beliefs to sex, Jesus, sex, guns, sex, the American flag and sex.

"So, what are you in for?"

"Seventh dildo."

Enterprising Texan pervert invents a dual-function gun-dildo that is constitutionally exempt from sex toy laws.

How’s fixing that power grid going, Texas?

"Compromises the innocence of children"???

Unless you are incredibly liberal parents, children don't even know what the fuck those are until they're old enough to recognize it as anything more than just a "tube". By the time they grasp the idea that it's something sexual, they're old enough to handle that knowledge.

"smaller government" apparently just means few dildos for the inspector to have to count.

If they can outlaw a specific store from selling something, they can outlaw any store from selling anything. This isn't just about sex toys, it's a test to see what they can get away with.

Exqueeze me? The fuck? Is that real?

Edit: yes. Although it’s mired in legislative gobbledygook:

Sec. 43.23. OBSCENITY. (a) A person commits an offense if, knowing its content and character, he wholesale promotes or possesses with intent to wholesale promote any obscene material or obscene device.

(b) Except as provided by Subsection (h), an offense under Subsection (a) is a state jail felony.

(c) A person commits an offense if, knowing its content and character, he:

(1) promotes or possesses with intent to promote any obscene material or obscene device; or

(2) produces, presents, or directs an obscene performance or participates in a portion thereof that is obscene or that contributes to its obscenity.

(d) Except as provided by Subsection (h), an offense under Subsection (c) is a Class A misdemeanor.

(e) A person who promotes or wholesale promotes obscene material or an obscene device or possesses the same with intent to promote or wholesale promote it in the course of his business is presumed to do so with knowledge of its content and character.

(f) A person who possesses six or more obscene devices or identical or similar obscene articles is presumed to possess them with intent to promote the same.

So, women seem to be exempt (“he possesses with intent”) and it is a “performance”. Whatever that means. And it’s a misdemeanor.

But it’s real. Can have six dildos in a performance, but more than six? Oooh that’s a paddlin’.

The Texas House has at least 87 dildos. Someone should report them.

In Texas, owning more dildos than guns is a crime. Probably.

I don't agree, but I've also literally never seen a sex toy for sale in Walmart. Like, is that a thing?

One for each day of the week except God's day, as He said "on the seventh day you must [give it a] rest"

You know, studies show that keeping a dildo inside the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That's why I own 10 guns, in case some maniac tries to sneak in a dildo.

Normalize mailing Texas lawmakers 7 dildos.

Uhm, you can buy dildos at Walmart?

Why has nobody told me before now?

Of course it's possible to own more than 6 assault rifles, right?

Imagine being so unable to pleasure women that you're jealous and petty against your wife's dildo collection.

Does Texas employ door-to-door dildo inspectors?

Is there a state office of dildo regulations, wieghts, and measures?

Small government, uh?

Party of limited government and personal liberty.

Ladies and gentlemen, as is tradition when this utter foolishness is discussed, may I present: Texas Annie, performed by The Wet Spots

Well, Texas Annie had a big fat fanny, and she drove a black sedan She had Ben Wa Balls in her overalls and a trunk full of contraband And when the fog was thick, she'd pack her dicks, and sneak across the county line 'Cause in Texas, any tool for masturbation is a crime

Hard-livin' and promiscuous, she kinda liked the risk She was a liquor-drinkin' dildo-runnin' rascal With an electronic phallus for each housewife up in Dallas An' a probe for every asshole in El Paso

Cos you can't buy a dildo in Texas We don't touch ourselves down there round here, ya' hear? And it says so in the Bible that a vibe'll leave you liable For a prison term of twenty-seven years

Can they rent Ted Cruz instead? He's a dildo.

What are they going to do next? Make registry of dildos? Have a dildo buyback program? Regulate the length and girth?

It's just like enforcing in-home nudity when the blinds are shut, how are they gonna enforce this?

texas once again proving they are one of the greatest concentrations of cowards.

So this means that Texas dildo inspector will be a job in the future. Just wow

Does my double-ended dildo count as one or two? Does size matter? Does a tarzan with bunny ears count as one or two? Does my hand count? How about a cucumber?

So many questions.

I'm going to Texas and buying 50 dildos because fuck you that's why (also I will be selling the dildos at a slight discount afterwards)

The very people that come up with these pearl clutch laws are the same people who also want to legalize marrying 12 year olds. But won't anyone think of the children, PLEASE!

It's to allow one for each day of the week except for Sunday, as Sunday is The Lord's Day.

I'm interested in seeing a judicial decision on whether a double ended dildo counts as one dildo or two dildos.

If you create a religion with a dildo being recognized by your dogma as official iconography, could you unlock "unlimited dildos" based upon religious freedom exceptions?

So they just rent the ones over 6?

what is not fair is that all texans have at least one dildo as long as elon resides there.

What if they're dildo shaped guns? Would Texas ever dare to ban those?

Me, who lived in Texas for 22 years.

These people CAN'T BE SERIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Does this mean that independent sex shops will thrive in texas? It could be a good thing for small business.

Will there be an official Office of Dildo Inspections? With Dildo Inspectors making rounds, carefully checking every household for staying within their allotted number of items? Will the billboards aside the vast highways advertise the government hotline for anonymous reporting of infractions?

And if not, well, they're clearly cowards. If you're going to pass a law like that, you have to go all the way!

Seriously though, I sometimes wonder how this period of time will be described in history books 50 years from now.

Walmart has sex toys?

I have never seen one in walmart in my entire life.

What a waste of money and resources

what in the Texas fuck are those anal retentive cucks smoking down there?!

The reason it is limited to six is because "And on the seventh day God ended His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done." Genesis 2:2

It would be a shame if texas law makers received packages of 7 dildos and happened to be reported on delivery day

It's always en vogue to report on every batshit-crazy bill filed by Republicans in the Texas legislature, and while there's genuinely some terrible legislation that gets passed, the Texas Legislature is where bills go to die, and this will definitely be one that dies. This bill will never get out of committee, and this headline is a lie.