I'm trying my best but it's so goddamn hard. I went to two trade shows past weekend and actually talked to someone new (well, the same person twice, but still). But literally every other person there had a much more extensive collection and knowledge than I do, after 5 years of obessessing over the subject.
I will always just be a very lightly informed amateur without real skills in any field.
People struggle to put themselves out there as amateurs because of this feeling, but it's totally fine. Most hobbies wouldn't exist without a range of enthusiasts and skills.
Like, I've been pretty into chess for the past couple of years, but I'm still barely "intermediate" at best. Browsing forums and stuff, it seems like everyone is a top 1% player, but that's mathematically impossible.
Amateur’s etymology is “amator” meaning lover. It’s ok to be an amateur. It shows you’re enjoying yourself and interested. You don’t need to be the best, just do what is fun to you. Life’s too short to be a jack of all trades professional.
It took me about 7 years to be good at my trade. I was really bad. It did not come easily. It was a nightmare, and seeing guys with less experience than me pick it up way faster than me was demolishing for my self esteem. But I kept at it, decided I was in too deep to quit and I liked it, picked up way more hours and held my head above water. Now I’m the best carpenter I know and own my own contracting company.
It sucks being a slow learner, but if you want it bad enough you can have it man.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about hobby based trade shows, it’s that the highly experienced, obsessed, informed people in obscure hobbies tend to want to spread their knowledge.
Don’t obsess over not knowing… put yourself out there and talk to people and get them to tell you what they find exciting. They will unload knowledge on you and be excited to do so.
It's just extremely humbling to realize that in this lifetime, I will never have enough time or money to even rise to a middling position in the field. It doesn't diminish my genuine love for the subject or my personal drive to collect and learn what I can, but at the same time some millionnaire could start in my field tomorrow and have surpassed me in every way including knowledge in just a few months, and that makes me... not envious but just sad. I'll always be just the dog getting table scraps while the "real" players feast at unimaginable, unattainable hights in perpetuity.