Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Judging by the way I drew her waist, she's probably only doing it in order to get something to eat.

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Twist: Dad is a modernist poet.

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Somehow it came the week of jokes about dissociating from reality with VR.

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The eyelashes suddenly appear as part of a rapid transition to being an anime character.

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Which was sad because Ted had a wife and kids.

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Look, I admit this one in retrospect doesn't make a lot of sense, but look at the attention to detail on the Hamburlar, who is slowly loosing his middle finger!

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I wonder how real headless horsepeople see. Echolocation?

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Time for a factory reset.

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One of the most reassuring thoughts I've ever had is that the day I die, there will be some young person in my family comparing it to the loss of a hamster.

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ODLAW HAS BEEN TERMINATED. HA. HA. HA.

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Ted was especially concerned that the designer of the gate forgot to color in the pikes under the skulls.

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Nah, just kidding. You're actually having an auditory hallucination that's coincident with a bleeding retina.

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There should've been a moment where Vader just quiets down and gets sarcastic with Luke. 'Oh, you lost an arm. Wow, I bet that's super painful. Can't imagine what that's like.'

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Fun Fact: When I switched to doing single panels in 2002, after having done short character-based strips for a bit, an early reader identified this particular comic as the reason she stopped reading. This was a bit distressing, since at the time, that one reader was about 10 percent of my audience.

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If we all live by metaphors, all you have to pick is the stupidest metaphor you can find.

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If you'd like one of the badges in the bonus panel, please just attend one of the yacht meetings.

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Anyone taking this comic out of context will be sent a prize.

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The part where Ophelia turns out to have survived by secretly being a mermaid was pretty good, though.

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It later turns out they're just in Texas.

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Fifteen years after writing this cartoon, I realize this isn't how Russian Roulette works.

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The real error here was using a level 1 spell on a level 5 opponent.

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Tom was so disconnected from his own feelings that he offered gold and jewels whenever expressing himself. By the time he and Sally had been together for five years, he had begun to understand that his emotional weaknesses should be shared with the woman he loved most. But, it was too late. With the millions of dollars in rings, she had escaped to Argentina, and love.

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Really? All that and you still want hovertext? Go read a book.

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Actually there's a little post-it chastising you for your own insecurities.

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This was literally the first single panel comic idea I ever had, though it isn't the first drawing. I revised it around 2005 or so, at a point when I apparently thought fingertips were square-shaped.

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Leave before I throw my collection of wigs at you!

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