GayBros

Chilean Olympic athlete Tomás González has come out as gay, saying in a recent interview: “I guess it’s not a big deal anymore, but yes, I’m gay.”

The gymnast opened up about his journey last month to Chilean news outlet La Tercera, saying he “cried a lot in those [early] days.”

The 37-year-old revealed he only came to terms with his sexuality at 24, after dating women since 18 and planning to marry and have children. He added that his traditional upbringing played a part in this.

“Accepting myself wasn’t an easy process,” he said. “Ultimately, one grows up in a heteronormative society that conditions you in the same way. I’m glad that things are becoming more normalised today.”

He told La Tercera he’s been in a relationship for six years and plans to adopt with his partner in the future.

Impressive athlete Tomás has earned an impressive nine medals over the years for his discipline of gymnastics. He’s competed in three summer Olympics, including London 2012.

The Olympian recently released his Spanish-language autiobiography, Campeón (Champion), in which he talks more about his upbringing and professional career.

In the book, he discusses an “abusive” coach, who allegedly screamed “removed” at him after he made a fault during a 2007 competition. He says the coach also kept him isolated from others, leading a toll on the athlete’s mental health before they finally cut ties.

“Failures are overcome by being humble and analysing what happened without becoming involved in playing the victim,” Tomás says in the release.

Runaway Netflix hit Heartstopper was a huge hit with teenagers when the first series came out last year.

But while it may have been targeted at a younger audience - just like Alice Oseman's hugely popular graphic novels series of the same name - it ultimately had a much broader appeal.

The series centred around the blossoming same sex relationship between school friends Charlie Spring (Joe Locke) and Nick Nelson (Kit Connor).

The storyline follows Nick's coming out journey as he realises he is bisexual and series two, which drops on Netflix on Thursday, will follow Charlie and Nick's deepening romance.

For the young LGBTQ+ community, Heartstopper is about representation, identity and first love, while the show also tackles other teen issues such as bullying and friendship problems.

Older viewers have also been drawn to the series with its universal themes and nostalgia for rose-tinted schooldays (even if they weren't always so rose-tinted).

For some though, it's had a more profound effect.

Fiona - not her real name - says the show helped her to open up about her sexuality for the first time, in her 40s.

"Saying that Heartstopper made me realise I was bisexual is a bit of an oversimplification. There was probably a part of me that always knew but didn't really know how to label it because there weren't any people talking about bisexuality when I was growing up," she explains.

More people identify as bisexual than gay or lesbian, a new study recently suggested.

Fiona herself is married with a young child and her husband has been very supportive as she has begun to open up about her sexual orientation.

But it was a very different landscape in the 1980s.

She says that growing up through the Aids crisis and Section 28 was damaging, recalling once hearing Aids described by adults in hushed tones as the "gay plague".

"There was a lot of trauma and horror associated with not being straight.

"Because I liked boys as well, I just kind of pushed that side down. It [bisexuality] was always floating around in my head but I had those negative ideas of what it means to be bisexual."

She also feels that there's been a lack of bisexual storylines on our screens, which hasn't helped. Last year's Glaad report, which charts LGBTQ representation on TV in the US, noted that there was a four per cent decrease in bisexual characters compared with the previous year.

While there have been prominent bisexual characters in recent TV series, such as Rosa Diaz in Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Darryl Whitefeather in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, it was Heartstopper's Nick Nelson that made everything click for Fiona.

"When I saw his journey, the emotions he felt... the more I thought about it, the more I thought this is something I can relate a lot to the past.

"It was like jigsaw pieces floating around and watching Heartstopper was the thing that finally... they all fit into place.

She says that while the show has "been really important for young people... because it normalises those feelings... there is a generation of older people who are realising they are bisexual because Heartstopper is helping them to go through the things they went through as a teenager and recognise it".

Heartstopper doesn't sugar-coat the issues that still exist today in coming out; Nick is part of a very macho school rugby team, for example, which includes some members who are openly homophobic.

"The fear of coming out to friends is very relatable. That's something I'm still going through at the moment," says Fiona.

But she notes that Heartstopper is also a "simple love story... that isn't drenched in trauma", which she feels is significant.

"There was a big phase where every gay storyline involved HIV... you couldn't just have simple love stories like straight people."

Watching Heartstopper led to Fiona tentatively begin to explore her newly uncovered identity.

"I just subconsciously started using the [bisexuality] label for myself to see how felt. It's like unlocking a part of your identity that's always been hidden.

"Everything just clicked and I was crying at the end when Nick comes out to his mum."

Fiona recently attended her first Pride event but while her husband has been an ally, she isn't ready to come out to her wider family yet.

"My family are very heteronormative. I'm a bit of a misfit because they do (traditional) gender roles, women do this and men do that, and I've always kicked against that."

While Fiona's coming out journey is at her own pace, Connor revealed on Twitter last year that he was bisexual, but suggested he was forced to come out after pressure on social media.

"No-one should be forced to come out when they're not ready, they should be able to do that in their own time. He was pushed into a corner where he felt he had to do that, it was completely unacceptable," Fiona says.

Connor himself said recently: "One of the really powerful things about Heartstopper is that it's a voice for a lot of people.

"We do try and teach people that no matter what, it's OK. It's okay not to know, and it's OK to explore and it's okay to work things out. You'll get there. It's going to be the best thing ever when you do."

Series two will see the relationship between Charlie and Nick grow and mature.

The pair are "super, super optimistic and hopeful about their relationship," Connor says.

"But it's maybe not as easy as they thought it would be, to suddenly be as out and proud as they want to be."

Dr Julia Shaw, a psychologist and author of the book, Bi: The Hidden Culture, History and Science of Bisexuality, says bisexual people face "double discrimination, expressed to them by both homosexual and heterosexual people".

"There's an assumption that for bisexual women, it's probably a phase, whereas for bisexual men, it's kind of the opposite... the assumption will be that you're actually gay but just not willing or brave enough to come out yet.

"Often bisexual people are seen as not queer enough to be fully part of the queer and homosexual community," she adds.

Dr Shaw also recognises the importance of representation on screen.

"Parasocial relationships are when we have relationships with... or get to know people on screen, or in other media contexts," she explains.

For example, the viewer may feel a genuine connection with Connor's character through shared experiences.

"We know that parasocial relationships are important for changing people's hearts and minds when it comes to queer issues.

"So if you feel like you know someone [who is gay or bisexual] in your real life, or through the media, you're much more likely to accept that that's a sexuality that really exists."

She adds: "I think that bisexual representation in the last five years has shot up massively, although it's still not proportionate.

"I think Heartstopper is one of the first representations of a delicate portrayal of bisexuality in boys in a way that we haven't seen before."

Oseman herself, who identifies as asexual and aromantic and uses both she and they pronouns, says: "We want to see our struggles represented accurately in the media, but we also often want media that makes us feel hopeful, comforted, and happy, and I like to think Heartstopper does both those things."

So what would Fiona say to Oseman if she met her now?

"Thank you for giving my generation the representation that we didn't have. I don't know if she will ever realise what impact she's really had."

Which is your preferred lubricant? Is it silicon based or water based? And exactly what lub?

As in: the guy that you fell for but you couldn't make it work out for any reason, or maybe a missed connection from long ago, or perhaps something happened in the relationship and you were forced to end things

@gaybros Is there any italian bro with Whom I can chat? Thanks

Hey y'all, I hope this is appropriate for here. I'm somewhat of a music junky and love finding new artists to check out, and while I don't usually seek anyone out based on sexuality/gender/etc., I have discovered a few artists who are gay and don't fit into the mainstream "gay" music box of "nails, hair, hips, heels, yas, thworp" EDM or bubblegum pop. Don't get me wrong, I love some of that stuff and there's great art being made in those genres! I just figured this community's about finding commonality outside of mainstream queer culture and I wanted to feature some gay artists expressing themselves in other genres.

I'll just add a note that my tastes outside of pop and EDM tend to lean towards rock and metal, so I didn't try to actively ignore hip hop or other genres, I'm just not as well-versed in those. Also, I can't think of a good rhyme or reason for why I focused on some artists' solo material over groups they're in, aside from maybe personal preference or whether they take on a supporting role in other groups and I just wanted to highlight the material that displays their creativity front and center.

For accessibility, links will either link to the artist's Bandcamp page, or Youtube videos.

Torment & Glory

Genre: Folk, post rock

Torment & Glory is the solo moniker for Brian Cook, who's better known as the bassist for a number of influential metalcore, post metal, and sludge metal bands. Unlike those other projects, Torment & Glory sees Cook branching out from holding down thunderous basslines to stacking layers of reverb-drenched guitars and soft whispers until the listener's engulfed in a one-person symphony. 'No Big Crime' even adds in what I assume is Cook's signature distorted bass in its climax, giving just the right amount of gritty support to lift the delicate sonic ecosystem above.

Recommended: No Big Crime

Other projects:

• Botch (Metalcore, harsh vocals)
• Russian Circles (Post metal, instrumental)
• Sumac (Sludge metal, harsh vocals)

MAN ON MAN

Genre: Shoegaze, indie rock, synthpop

MAN ON MAN (M.O.M.) is a literal labor of love between boyfriends Roddy Bottum (keyboardist of Faith No More, Imperial Teen) and Joey Holman (formerly Cool Hand Luke), who formed the group during the COVID lockdowns. The music born from that period feels like a reaction to the tension and fear prevalent at the time, as it teeters between Smashing Pumpkins-esque raunchy, garage rock fun and cozy, anthemic synth numbers à la CHVRCHES. The lyrics, while maybe not classically poetic, are unapologetically gay. ("We the people fuck in bathrooms, and in backrooms; they’re our classrooms. Don’t like what you see? Don’t you fuckin’ look at me." they spit on "Haute Couture", in case the sentiment wasn't clear.) Maybe they're not breaking ground in terms of sonic exploration, but it's kind of nice to see a couple of big, hairy dudes staking their claim in a space normally reserved for slim, baby-faced guys and gals.

Recommended: Gloryhole

Other projects:

• Faith No More (I mean, really?)
• Imperial Teen (Indie pop/rock, clean vocals)
• Cool Hand Luke (Indie rock/pop, clean vocals)

King's X (Dug Pinnick)

Genre: Grunge, psychedelic rock, progressive rock

These guys are one of those "your favorite band's favorite band" groups. They formed in 1979 and have consistently released albums that are praised by some pretty big names in music, yet never really hit mainstream success themselves. Jeff Ament from Pearl Jam credits them as "inventing grunge", Layne Staley one told vocalist/bassist Doug Pinnick that he "was just channeling Doug" on "Rooster", and progressive metal giants Dream Theater also featured the singer on their third album "Falling Into Infinity". Don't let their origins in the Christian rock scene turn you off; the members have all struggled with their faith, with Pinnick in particular unable to reconcile the religion with his sexuality and has left Christianity entirely. Even more, these guys do rock, combining the melodic sensibilities of Rush with crushing drop-D riffage and intensity that brings Soundgarden to mind.

Recommended: Dogman, Pleiades

Other projects:

• Dug Pinnick (solo) (Grunge/hard rock, clean vocals.)
• KXM (Alternative rock/metal, clean vocals.)

Cynic

Genre: Technical death metal, progressive metal, jazz fusion

I'd wager these guys are the most likely to be recognized out of this list, considering their legendary status in the metal community. While Paul Masvidal (guitars, vocals) and Sean Reinert (drummer) formed Cynic first, they gained notoriety by displaying their technical prowess on the album "Human", by the pioneering death metal band...well...Death. Their technical-shredding-meets-alien-jazz leanings on that album were amplified on Cynic's debut "Focus", which is a seminal album in tech death. Facing homophobia from crowds and the allure of less-niche musical styles, Cynic was put on hold for over a decade before they returned with a followup, "Traced in Air", which leaned even more into the otherwordly aesthetics of their core sound. They've had a few albums and EPs since then, but their first two albums are by far their most groundbreaking and influential. Unfortunately, Sean Reinert departed the band on unpleasant terms and later passed away in 2020, followed shortly by the death of bassist Sean Malone. Paul, the only remaining original member, has continued to carry on the Cynic name, releasing their latest offering, "Ascension Codes", in 2021.

Recommended: Integral Birth, Veil of Maya

Other projects:

• Portal (Jazz fusion and progressive rock, clean vocals.) If the metal side of Cynic isn't your thing, try this side project that Masvidal and Reinert formed after the release of "Focus", which is essentially Cynic minus the death and some added female vocals. The project never had an official release, but demos were released under the Cynic name as "The Portal Tapes".
• Aeon Spoke (Alternative/pop rock band, clean vocals.) Paul and Sean formed this group after releasing "Focus", and put their, ahem, focus into this endeavor, hoping to achieve more success in a more mainstream market.

That's it for now! I'd love to hear if anyone discovers something new or enjoyable out of this, and if you have any recommendations yourself, drop them in a comment below!

Just watched this movie. Someone recommended me a long time ago, but I never got to watch it. I was tearing up at the end.

I asked that question yesterday, but my post got deleted, because it had a photo of a hairy butt as illustration, sorry I didnt read the rules about NSFW Images, so here once again:

I have a quiet hairy ass, also hairy between the cheeks and around the hole. I sonder whats the best practice to shave it without hurting myself. Any experiences? What do you use? Razor? Cream?

I'm a hairy, small dick, morbidly obese, semi-virgin 35 year old guy.

Between my crippling social anxiety, zero self esteem, and OCD-ish fear that if I am near cum I'll get AIDS and die... I've only had a single sexual partner my entire life.

When I was 25 I was a 100% never been kissed virgin. I lost 75 lbs (315 to 240, currently 355), felt way better about myself, and sort of had a casual thing with a coworker where with lots of jerking and sucking, but no butt stuff because I was a scaredy cat. Then that guy moved away. I thought that he was the jumping off point to being normal, but I went back into my shell (and gained all my weight back).

I'm 35 now, certainly not getting any younger.

I finally have a real deal big boy job making adequate money.

I was thinking... Why don't I get my HPV vaccine, Hep A/C vaccine, PreP, and some Bluechew and just hire a prostitute so that I can get fucked by a human instead of a piece of plastic I sometimes stick up my butt while masturbating? I won't care what he thinks about my body because I'm literally paying him.

Then I thought - where do you even find a prostitute? There are escort sites, but they all seem to be in the city (I live in the suburbs about 25 miles away). What if I get caught and it's like the police? Do I need to rent a hotel room or have them come over my house? Can I just find a local, muscular, hot, college boy on Grindr and offer him like $500?

Maybe I should just lower my physical expectations and try to go on an actual date with someone in my age and league? How will I hide how incredibly anxious and awkward and inexperienced I am? I literally wouldn't fuck me.

Maybe I should just go to the 50+ year old guy on Grindr that's like 3000 ft away that has a bio that says he'll suck anybody. I wonder what kinds of STDs you can get from sucking dozens or hundreds of dicks?

Maybe I should get on Ozempic?

All that I know for sure is I want to do something.

I just want to say what a wonderful time I had on my second pride parade. Last year I was a little bit nervous, I didnt know what to expect, how to act, where to look, etc.

This year I went there, took a couple of beers with me (thank you Germany), walked along the parade, encountered some acquaintances and talked with them for some hours, took pictures, I smiled at some men and they smiled back at me, even some of them started conversations with me. At the end the party kept going, but I was not in the mood to stay late, so I just went back home.

Anyway, happy week!

We're getting ready to celebrate our 51st annual Pride festival in Rochester, NY next weekend. There are local competing theories as to why our Pride festival takes place in July, the most prominent seeming to be:

• Rochester's Pride celebrations predate the post-Stonewall era formal Pride events
• Celebrating in July prevents conflicts with all the big city events that take place in June, allowing for more people to celebrate

As a Rochester transplant, I tend to subscribe to the latter theory. The first sounds too much like a "we did it first" reaction, but I love the enthusiasm.

Local NPR station WXXI had an hour-long show today previewing the event, available online: Previewing the 2023 Rochester Pride Parade and Festival

I read this book years ago when it was the first edition. It really spoke to me about some feelings I thought were really personal but turned out to be fairly common.

I read it again years later and it was a good read again. It has some really useful lessons and ideas I think.

I'm really curious if anyone else has read it, particularly someone younger than 40, and what they thought about it. If you haven't read it I would recommend giving it a go if you can find it, I'm going to give it another read now it's popped into my head.

Not when did you come out, that's a whole different story, but when did you know you were a gay bro?

I've always been excited by other guys, I remember being very young (like 7/8) and getting a bit too into the wrestling. My parents turned it off 😩

I was around 13 when someone said something about 'gay' and I learned it was a whole thing. It was like a light bulb moment and a bunch of things instantly made sense. And that was it, came out to some friends not long after and that was it.

How about you guys?

!gaybros@lemmy.world needs a banner. Does anyone want to give it a go?

I am looking for a mod for GayBros@lemmy.world. The sub is pretty empty so there currently is no need for it, but I think it is good idea regardless. Such a "main" community moded just by 1 guy doesn't sound too good...

If you want to be a mod, please let me know. 1 mod for now is enough.

You need to be:

• Gay.
• A bro.
• Active in lemmy.

EDIT: I actually don't know if I can add other people as mods or if it has to be an instance admin. If I can do it and anyone knows how, please let me know.

EDIT2: We now have 3 mods. Me and 2 other. For now, this is enough.

Okay I finally made a Lemmy acc Now where's all the good fap material? (jk , maybe not) Send recommended instances/servers pls

Messing around with an ai art generator and got these gay bros. Thought they were cute enough to share for pride month.

Kidding. I'm 100% gay. You just got straight-baited!

I just wanted to say happy pride everyone! Sorry for the bait ✌️

For you my bros. Be gay!

And say hi!