cross-posted from: https://ponder.cat/post/538617

Ok, yall. Check this out.

Problem

> ADHD > * Frequently showing up late to things because you miscalculated the time it would take to get ready and the extra time you need to find all the things you misplaced or realized you forgot once you left. Also, you might be focused on something when it's time to start getting ready and you don't want to give that rare drive up. Getting to places early gives you too much time to get hyperactive and get into that nervous boredom state.

> Autism > * Transitions aren't natural. We want things to stay stable and the same. Transitioning from one environment to the other takes extra time to get used to it. Rushing it makes us feel unprepared, confused, and takes up more mental energy. Because of this, we may delay the transition and end up being late.

Solution

Plan to get anywhere you are going 15+ mins early and have a task you want to complete in those 15+ mins.

1. This would ensure you get there on time.
2. It is also productive so you don't feel like you're there wasting time, feeling perceived, and controlling your stimming.
3. It gives you 15+ mins to get used to the environment and transition, so you can show up calm.
4. Since you're busy doing a task during that time, either in your car or apart from everyone, you don't have to participate in the small talk session.

Benefits

• Start being on time to things
• Less anxiety and stress when running late
• Less sense of shame for being a habitual late person
• Accomplish minor tasks
• Arrive to location/event calm and with more energy
• More energy means better focus on task/event
• Avoid small talk

Yoooooooo 🤯

Intel worker suffering from burnout discovers he is neurodivergent. Interesting read.

cross-posted from: https://lemy.lol/post/30158154

> By using brain organoids derived from autistic children’s stem cells, researchers uncovered distinct neural growth patterns, potentially guiding personalized treatments and diagnoses.

I changed the logo of the community so that we don't get confused with !autism@lemmy.world. However, this one is temporary while I find a new one. Feel free to look for some draw one up and comment them below as suggestions.

I got back into dancing salsa and bachata (colloquially known as Latin dance) a few months ago. Additionally, I've been trying to find other autistic people to socialize with, but as you might hypothesize, there aren't many of us in that community. It's a bit loud, socially complex, and generally overwhelming. Regardless, I ultimately like it so I'm trying to make it work.

In the past month, I've spotted two other auties. One was a girl I met in class. In case you aren't familiar with salsa/bachata dance classes, they are setup so that we rotate partners frequently...like every few minutes. As a girl I had never met came up to me during one of the rotations, she said, "I like your glasses," while looking at them and tapping on hers. I responded that I liked hers too. They were a bright semi-translucent mid-dark blue (a little 🤏 darker than this) and slightly shaped like that 70s cat eye style. She smile and thanked me in a way that seemed to convey we both understood each other. Then, we practiced the pattern respectfully without that invasive eye contact that most people use. She was generally quiet throughout the rest of the class. I've seen her a few times in other classes since, and everything lines up. Yesterday, I went to a social which is an unstructured dance practice. Basically, it's a event that plays loud music with the understanding that people are there to learn to dance and patrons are expected to dance with strangers non-judgmentally. During one of my noise breaks outside, I saw her in her car by herself. When I left about 30 mins later, I saw her in her car again. I plan on reaching out to her in a friendly way next time I get a chance to help her feel welcomed and relaxed. Probably will say something like, "I saw you in your car at that social. I do that too! I have to take breaks because it's too loud and chaotic for me sometimes," or something to that effect.

Two days ago, I attended a chacha dance workshop. There was a guy there that was evidently unique. Unique voice. Unique attire. Definitely has his own way of thinking. During class, it's obvious he is studying the dance. What I mean is that it seems to me that most people try to imitate the teacher and through that, they usually learn to repeat the moves. This guy was analyzing to deeply understand it (ohhh! Now I get why people say that about me sometimes!!🤯). He asked several unconventional questions, and in response to one of them, the teacher said, "I like your attention to detail." When I would glance at him as I do everyone, I would notice that he seemed to me that was checked out a few times. Most people seem generally focused on what everyone else is focused on or something else social like another person. This guy looked like he was possibly thinking about Aristotle, differential equations, dinner, or his shopping list. It's as if his eyes were disconnected from his brain. He did not seem present in the moment. After the class, there was a social. During a few of my noise breaks, I saw him outside too. In the first one, he mentioned he had taken a few breaks already because it was too loud. I had recently returned from taking a walk around the shopping center's parking lot. So I told him that I did that and that once I got around a store across the lot, the noise was much more tolerable. He basically said ok, then went inside ~30 secs later. A while after that, I go outside for another break and I catch him returning from the store area I had mentioned. This guy was also at the same social I was at where I saw the other girls in the car. I saw him sitting down by himself with a bottle of water and looking through everyone as if he were completely not present again, taking a personal 5 minute break by checking out. This social was basically the following meme in real life:

!

I have my suspicions of a few other regulars, but they aren't definitive like the two I mentioned above. Also, since I'm ADHD too, it's hard for me to differentiate between the three (autism, ADHD, and AuDHD) sometimes, so I can miscategorize when the presentation is impure.

Regardless, we're everywhere! It's nice to see us in places representing and taking care of each other in our own way. It's also nice to know I'm not alone there, and feel validated that we can be in dance communities too. And of course, it's helpful to see what we look like from the outside to others because just like the guy was deeply studying the dance pattern, I am deeply studying the entire environment.

If you're out there putting yourself in environments that are unusual for us, thank you! There might be another one of us there that has caught on to you and appreciates your presence ❤️

The other day i made myself some soup. It tasted good, Today however the thought of eating that soup repulsed me and i couldn't stand eating it despite me liking it earlier.

I'm excited to see what everyone else's said, if we have a lot in common, and if some of us have some funny stuff too.

Also, promoting !autism@lemmy.autism.place

Below is a list of resources that may be helpful to the autistic community, to include its allies. Feel free to make suggestions and post/comment about them to create engaging discussions! Note: this is a dynamic list that will change as we learn of new resources and things are updated.

Autism (General)

About Autism

• A social description of autism.

Asperger Syndrome

• A review of Asperger syndrome, it’s history, and how those that are Aspies experience the world.

How to Talk about Autism

• Tips on how to discuss autism in a respectful and inclusive fashion.

What is Autism?

• A medical approach to describing autism.

Abuse

12 Ways to Recognize Passive Aggression

• A ~17 minute video covering 12 ways to identify passive-aggressive behaviors. This video is helpful if you are confused over an interaction and want help on assessing if the interaction is passive-aggressive or not.

How Abuse Mars the Lives of Autistic People

• A well-sourced compassionate review of the abuse autistic people may often experience

Is It Emotional Abuse?

• A YouTube playlist by a nationally reknown expert on emotional abuse covering tactics that abusers employ and signs that someone is being abused. This is a great playlist for someone that is confused as to whether they are being emotionally abused in a relationship.

Unhealthy Relationships

• A page covering reasons why autistic people are more likely to be abused, signs that they are being abused, and tactics that abusers use to abuse autistic people.

Recently Diagnosed

After Diagnosis Playlist

• A YouTube playlist of 4 (11-17 mins videos) covering expectations and advice for those that have been recently diagnosed as autistic.

Bienvenidos a la Comunidad Autista

• Un libro electrónico gratuito escrito para empoderar a personas autistas. Cubre todos los asuntos relacionados con ser autista.

Welcome to the Autistic Community

• A thorough and empowering free ebook written for autistic people. It covers all matters related to being autistic.

Relationships

Aspie's Guide to Flirting

• An ~8 min video guide that breaks down the complexities of flirting for autistic people.

The Five Neurodiverse Love Languages

• An essay covering the 5 major strategies that autistic and ADHD people use to communicate they love you ❤️

Support Groups

Asperger/Autism Network (AANE)

• A list of available online support groups for autistic people.

Self-assessments

Autism Tests

• A thorough list of scientifically based assessments with descriptions and ability to complete and score. Note: A self-assessment is not sufficient enough to properly assess autism. A proper assessment includes at least a thorough interview by a licensed mental health professional that specializes in autism assessment.

Broad Autism Phenotype Questionnaire

• "The broad autism phenotype (BAP) is a set of personality and language characteristics that reflect the phenotypic expression of the genetic liability to autism, in non-autistic relatives of autistic individuals. These characteristics are milder but qualitatively similar to the defining features of autism...This instrument provides a valid and efficient measure for characterizing the BAP."

Strengths

Autistic people – The cultural immune system of human societies

• A thorough blog essay covering contributions that autistic people make to society as a whole.

Understanding Neurotypicality

A Field Guide to Earthlings: An Autistic/Asperger View of Neurotypical Behavior

• A free ebook written for autistic people that describes the neurtotypical world. It can be funny and quite insightful!

YouTube Channels

Autism from the Inside

• A channel ran by a Paul Micallef who discovered he was autistic at 30 years old. His videos are well-educated, compassionate, cover all sorts of autism-related material, and break-down social matters for autistic people to better navigate their internal and external worlds.

Autistamatic

• Diagnosed as a teenager over 30 years ago, Quinn is "autistic and proud." Per the channel's About section, "For autistic people & those who care about us. Autistamatic content is made entirely by autistic contributors, curated & presented by Quinn. If you're autistic or your partner, friend, family member or colleague is you'll find something that will help make your life easier and maybe make a bit more sense." He also maintains a site (www.autistamatic.com) that "[explores] our mainy-coloured minds."

Foster on the Spectrum

• "Autistic ADHDer. Lover of frogs, books, neurodiversity, psychology, etc. Hater of capitalism."

Mom on the Spectrum

• A channel ran by Tay, a mother of 2 that discovered she was autistic at 31 years-old. She “share[s] knowledge, resources, and products that empower other neurodivergent people and their loved ones to live freely and creatively.”

Orion Kelly - That Autistic Guy

• Orion Kelly “an Autistic author, YouTuber, podcaster, actor, keynote speaker and Autistic advocate based in Australia. [He is] all about helping increase your level of understanding, acceptance and appreciation of Autistic people.”

Proudly Autistic

• After many years of difficulty trying to understand her difficulties and several mental health diagnoses, Karen received an autism diagnosis at 40 years old stating, "Finally, I understood who I was!" With the personal history to be able to compare before an after diagnosis, Karen found that being openly autistic leads to considerable adversity across many areas of life. Additionally, being exposed to narcissism in her childhood home and adult relationships, Karen also experiences difficulties related to abuse and Complex PTSD. She uses her medium to build a community of people that want to live authentically.

Sydney Zarlengo

• Disabled, Autistic, Lesbian. They are an “an openly queer, disabled, autistic, trans non-binary actor, composer, youtuber, educator, media analyst, and disability advocate. [They try] to use this channel to educate about any and all of the above categories as well [their] original music and a bit of a memory log for [themself]!”

Yo Samdy Sam - ND, Autism, Poor Attempts at Humor

• A recently diagnosed autistic adult, she “explore[s] the autistic experience from every weird corner of [her] brain and help[s] others discover themselves, be proud of themselves and change the world, one silly video at a time.