AskTransgender

Seriously why? It feels like they think it's really funny, to make us try and present feminine to get what we need to feel better. Like it's a fetish to see what they think is a man dressed as a woman asking for estrogen. My doctor and therapist called me he/him even though I told him she/her multiple times, I practically yelled at him for his repeated misgendering, he didn't care.

I wish I knew why doctors and therapists put these ridiculous requirements on people. It's not like people are taking estrogen recreationally, like for real what is this for. Also how does me wearing a dress when I have face stubble and a masculine body prove I "feel like a woman" dumb fucks just want to see what they think is a man wearing a dress. It's obvious they believe I'm a man. I wasn't willing to degrade myself or sink to that level, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself. I got DIY, was the only option left that didn't involve degrading myself for those pigs and still getting denied anyway.

I'm sorry, I've had a bad day lately and I was recently reminded of this shit.

Some time ago, I was seeing a post online about "walking on eggshells" and how people were annoyed at this, and it made me think a little. I always try my best to be a respectful and decent person, but when the matter is trans people I do get a bit nervous (I'm an introvert, by the way. I'm already a bit nervous by default). How can I be sure that I'm not offending someone while also not looking so worried about it?

Like there are some people who think that we're not valid if we don't. Don't people know how expensive and painful it is. Plus some of us just like what we got ya know. I'm proud to be a trans girl who still has the bits. Why is this so hard for people to understand? Also some people seem to think it's much more common than it actually is.

I heard from a few forums that updating your email is not possible however is it possible to do it if it includes your deadname?

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/15865014

> Hi, everyone! So, I'm moving toward going on estrogen in the next year. Before I do that, there are some steps I want to take to prepare. I'm using an at-home IPL machine now for hair removal, and I'd like to get some voice lessons under my belt as well. The main step I want to take next is sperm cryopreservation. My fiancee and I want kids, but I'm not certain it would be a good idea to have a kid during puberty. So, we want to freeze my sperm or our embryos, and I was wondering if ya'll have any resources you could share? I've looked into a few at-home sperm freezing kits, but it's such a big deal to place your fertility in the hands of a company like that and any advice would be much appreciated! <3

1. Birth Certificate:

   • Follow provincial vital statistics guidelines to update name and gender on the birth certificate.

2. Service Canada (SIN Card):

   • Visit local Service Canada to update the Social Insurance Number (SIN) card. Bring supporting documents, including the change of name certificate.

3. Canada Revenue Agency (CRA):

   • Submit a letter to CRA declaring name and gender change. Include the provincial change of name document and specify updated details for tax-related correspondence.

4. Employment:

   • Inform your employer’s HR department about name and gender marker change.
   • Update work-related paperwork, including employment records, insurance, life insurance, benefits, and disability eligibility.
   • Update nametag, time cards, employee records, directory, nameplate, and client/customer records.

5. Indian Status Card:

   • Update information on the secure status card.

6. Driver’s ID and Vehicle Registration:

   • Update driver’s license at the relevant provincial licensing office.
   • Update vehicle registration, car title.

7. Voter Registries:

   • Update voter registration with local, provincial/territory, and federal registries.

8. Banking:

   • Visit the bank to update records, including debit/credit cards, paper checks, and investing accounts.

9. Online Accounts:

   • Update information on various online platforms, including payment services, social networks, messaging services, professional listings, dating services, video sites, microblogging services, personal services, photo sharing, videoconferencing, email accounts, forums, porn platforms, commenting platforms, and apps.

10. Passport:

    • Apply for a new passport with updated details. Ensure the birth certificate reflects the new name and gender marker before applying.

11. Credit Reporting Agencies:

    • Notify both TransUnion and Equifax of the name change.

12. Insurance Policies:

    • Contact insurance providers to inform them of name and gender change.
    • This includes car insurance, home insurance, health insurance, and pet insurance. Provide necessary documentation.

13. Medical Records and Professionals:

    • Contact each medical professional's office to update records, including doctor’s office, dentist, vision care providers, pharmacy, and physical therapists.

14. Educational Institutions:

    • Inform attended educational institutions about name and gender change.
    • Check each institution’s administration office for specific procedures on updating transcripts and diplomas.

15. Post Office:

    • Visit the post office to update name and gender marker if you’ve changed your address or wish to reflect updated details on postal information.

16. Spousal Information:

    • Update spouse’s health contact information through the doctor and workplace.
    • If applicable, update spousal insurance and life insurance coverage through their workplace. Additionally, update joint bank accounts.

17. Legal Documents:

    • Update will, power of attorney, health directive, and living trust.

18. Financial Documents:

    • Update utilities information, electricity, water, phone, internet.
    • Also, update vehicle loans, school loans, and mortgage or lease.

19. Memberships:

    • For organizations, clubs, and services where you hold memberships, follow their specific procedures for updating records.

20. Loyalty Programs:

    • Update memberships in airlines, transit pass, restaurants/fast food, grocers, clothing stores, rideshare services, gas stations, hotels, animal adoption centres, automotive stores, home improvement stores, vehicle rental agencies, office supply stores, beauty stores, sports/outdoors stores, electronics stores, entertainment outlets, retailers, online retailers, subscriptions, clubs, meal delivery services, and charity subscriptions.

So I dealt with a nasty person a few days ago and one of the things this person did was calling people pick-mes while accusing them of being transphobic. The problem is I have no idea what this word or phrase means. I know it isn't good but I don't really understand how it relates to someone other than somehow being connected or associated with transphobia, and also likely being insulting.

I'm just wondering since some person on Mastodon said it, (almost certainly a troll due to their toxic behavior) and I was wondering what it actually means or if it's something that is just made up. I tried searching on Google and there weren't really any meaningful results, just people talking about and complaining about it.

So if anyone has any information on this it would be great if you shared it. Thanks

To clarify what I mean, I as a Femboy have had people very aggressively try and say that I am a "trans girl in-denial" because of the fact that I dress like a girl.

Why is this behavior seen as okay or acceptable in the community, when it pushes very hurtful gender stereotypes onto people? Some people say it's to help people who are actually in denial but that seems wrong and contradictory because I've also heard that the way someone identifies needs to be respected, so in that regard the idea of challenging and gaslighting people who are perceived as being "in-denial" isn't respecting their identity. Also there's the whole part about dismantling harmful gender stereotypes when the whole idea of Egg culture actually forces these onto people with the idea that dressing as a girl makes someone a girl when that simply isn't true and it is about identifying that way, not about conformity.

The worst ones I've experienced though were heteronormity, because I am also gay I was told that it's a sign that I'm a girl because "boys aren't attracted to boys" yes I was hit with homophobia and the people doing tried to use it as an example of why I must be trans.

I should note that this behavior has been very rare both here on lemmy.ca and on lemmy.blahaj.zone, most of the really bad stuff has happened to me from Reddit and IRL friends, I've also seen quite a bit on raddle.me but I don't have an account or presence there (thankfully).

Seriously I'd really like to know why people think this is okay, I know some people think it can be helpful or beneficial but I don't see how something that causes severe stress, discomfort, and self-doubt can be beneficial i.e.

>Oh Sweetie, stop lying to yourself you're not a boy, boys don't act like that. No matter how much you deny it you're already a girl. All you need is HRT to give you boobs and bottom surgery.

>You're attracted to boys? That's not very cis, you dress and act like a girl and if you're also attracted to boys that indicates that you are definitely a girl. You need to accept that you are trans whether you like it or not.

>She's so totally in denial, I mean just look at her, it's so clear that she's a girl, yet she thinks that she's a tr*p. One day she'll figure it all out and feel so stupid.

Yeah these and plenty of the other ones like them really made me feel gross and uncomfortable, definitely disrespected. I really don't see how any of these could be felt as supportive or compassionate when they are so cold and harsh and have so little consideration for the person receiving them.

Hello I am currently looking for people to moderate this community since I am still very new to Lemmy moderation and I have a feeling this community will be quite popular.

Please only comment if you either moderate other communities or have significant experience with moderating other communities or both.